two disagreeable ladies.

see, here's the thing. i lost all my music when my computer "crashed" but i still had two and a half gigs of music in my ipod. that was good, but i realized today that you can't transfer music from your (own) ipod to your (own) computer without downloading a bunch of programs and going through all this nonsense, and frankly i'm afraid now of corrupting the insides of my computer again.

i have to do laundry soon. i meant to do it today but i waited three hours for the cable guys to get here, then two hours for them to leave. on the upside, i did get cable tv finally! of course, there's nothing on, so i'm watching arrested development again anyway.

and, on the other upside, i still have internet access, which i'm using to post this blog. yay!

tomorrow, grading and work. good times!
c :)

update; life lessons.

update on charity's baby (iBook):

• my hard drive was erased (please everyone, remember to back up everything; work, music, photos, memoirs, stories, etc.).


• my RAM was bad. not the built-in RAM, but the additional factory installed RAM, so they'll have to replace it. unfortunately, since my computer is 3 years old (ancient!) they have to order it, so it won't be in until sometime this week, at which point i can go pick it up.


• my software installation disks were ruined (separate incident). apple strung me along all weekend about whether they were going to replace the disks (software is technically only covered for 90 days, even with the extended warranty), and i finally just decided to upgrade to MAC OS X 10.4. unfortunately, i can't install the new software until i have the additional memory, so i'll have to wait on that until later this week, too.


• i got a new battery, and the people at apple are going to replace my keyboard and feet.


• so, the worst news is that i lost everything in my hard drive. the best news is that my warranty expires in november, so i get everything except the software for free (kind-of. i paid $350 for the extended warranty). plus, i still have over 2 GB of music in my ipod!

i emailed the chair of my committee and explained. i have a deadline this friday that i am definitely not going to make. he advised me not to panic. that's kind, but somewhat impossible advice for me to take. i'll do my best.

so what lessons have i learned from all of this?

• back up your data.


• buy the extended warranties.


• don't procrastinate (well, i mean that's a good lesson from this experience, but not one that i will definitely learn).


• there's always a time to let go of stuff that you think you can't live without. you can live without it.


• it can always be worse. after all of this, i went over to my friends' apartment. another friend stopped by and i found out that her boyfriend's sergeant from when he was in the army recently was shot in the head in afghanistan. i don't really feel right complaining; my computer will be working by next weekend. even though i lost stuff i can never replace (stories i've written, photos from vacations, etc.), none of that will really matter in the long run.

moral: let go of what you can't hold onto anymore, and be thankful for what you still have. recognize what's really important and enjoy it while you can.

charity :)

betrayed.

i am writing from school. i want to tell you a story.

once there was a little girl named charity. she lived under an awful curse; she was doomed to be in school for the rest of her life. at first it was fun. she liked learning, and she met new people all the time, who also liked learning. she loved learning about important things, like spelling, and fractions, and geography.

gradually, though, she began to realize that the things she was learning were less practical and more disturbing. her homework came to be dominated by words that ended in -ization, like standardization, and institutionalization, and professionalization. she also began to notice that all her friends had left school. while she was typing the word "rationalization" for the 437th time, her friends were signing marriage licenses, housing deeds, and car titles. this came to disturb her more and more as she remained in school, learning about routinization, watching her friends all get salaried jobs while her own bank accounts got smaller and smaller, and the price of a loaf of bread came to take up a larger and larger proportion of her income.

she was unhappy.

one day she and her roommate decided to move into their own places. her roommate, who was no longer in school, moved in with her boyfriend, who was no longer in school, and charity moved into her own apartment. at first she really liked it. it was in a very nice neighborhood, very close to a pizza shop, a grocery store, a diner, and a video store. she was happy, and her cats were happy.

finally she decided; she decided it was time to get internet access in her apartment. she knew it was expensive, but she felt she needed it. she called the cable company, who said that they could get someone out to her in two weeks. she hated to wait, but decided she would. before the agreed upon time, she was very excited. then she realized that she didn't have any money. maybe she should work more at her parttime job, she thought. then she realized that she wasn't getting enough work done for school. maybe she should cut back on her hours at her parttime job, she though. then she checked her bank account.

panic set in, again.

the day of the cable installation finally arrived. the man came and fiddled around with everything. charity watched him nervously, anxious to have internet access, but scared about the financial committment, trying not to imagine the worst case scenario. then the cable man said "i can't do anything until your landlord unlocks the basement." she called the landlord. 45 minutes later, approximately 30 minutes after the cable man had left, the landlord called back. they arranged to meet the next morning, although charity had to miss an appointment to be there. at least it will be resolved, she thought.

10 o'clock came. her landlord came. he walked around the property. charity waited. 45 minutes later, the cable man came. the landlord was upset because he was getting ready to leave, but he opened the basement anyway. after much fiddling around, the cable man finally hooked up charity's computer to the internet. she was very happy. he left.

she realized later that he had neglected to turn on the cable television, which she had felt guilty about getting in the first place. but she didn't want to pay for it AND not get it. she called back. then she realized that the landlord would have to come out again and she fretted with the knowledge that she would again have to coordinate the schedules of such hard to schedule people. oh, she fretted. she called the landlord and left a message, and enjoyed at least the newfound capability to check her email from home.

then the next morning, she woke up, looking forward to her first full day of having internet, satisfied that at least she wasn't paying for the cable she wasn't getting (she made sure of this when she called the night before).

then her computer crashed.

she lost everything.

pictures: pictures from canada, pictures from her family holidays recently, pictures she could not replace, pictures she could not remember. music: music from her mom's cd library, music from libraries of people who were no longer in town, music from her own library of cds loaned and traded all over the place. work. work. work. work.

she fretted. but nothing could be done.

so she went back to school. where she remains to this day and will remain for all of eternity.

be careful children. it can happen to you.

no more blue streaks.

sofia and zane keeping it real.

for several years i was lucky enought to work at a natural buzz salon in decatur. i first got the job the summer after my return to atlanta the summer after my minor nervous breakdown. i told my hairdresser, jenny, about needing a job, and she urged me to apply at the salon where she worked. i liked jenny; she was crazy in a good way at the time (she unfortunately became crazy in ways that were bad for her physical and mental health soon after) and she really liked doing my hair because i had blue streaks in it.

before i took a year off and moved back in with my mom i used to get my hair done at a place in little five points. chris and i had a routine: after i arrived we would walk over together to fifi mahoney's where we would buy some dye, usually some variations on purple and blue (this was also the time period in which i got my tongue pierced; i was defying social conventions in conventional ways left and right). we would stand outside while chris smoked a cigarette, talking about what we were up to, which usually consisted of him telling me about what he and his partner had been into lately. i liked chris a lot: as a person and as a hair stylist. he was nice and fun and always interesting, and he would make my hair look amazing. i would be in love with my hair. he put natural looking highlights in it, meaning they were in patterns that might emerge from sitting out in the sun, only instead of being blond or light brown, they'd be blue or purple or magenta. once he somehow put purple all over with blue highlights. i never wanted to wash my hair again. my hair was much shorter at the time, but if you've ever seen or tried to apply that type of hair color, i'm sure you're already amazed at his skills.

when i moved back to atlanta, i was sad to see that chris was no longer at the place where i used to get my hair done. of course, i no longer lived two blocks from l5p, either. much had changed since i left, but after being a secretary for 9 months, i really wanted blue in my hair again. doubting i could ever again find someone with the patience and interest and funness of chris, i decided not to try to find the miracle again, but just to get blue chunks in my hair, leaving the rest brown.

that's how i found jenny.

she put blue streaks in my hair, and i came to enjoy visits a great deal. i had to get dye and bring it to her, usually, which was much less convenient, since there weren't too many places to buy that in decatur, and since i had to drive to l5p now, find a place to park, find the dye (no more fifi mahoney's either), drive back to decatur, etc. the good thing about the new style, though, was that it was a little easier to do touch-ups myself.

by the time i went to work at the salon, jenny was in the middle of her own nervous breakdown, so i never saw her again. the stories she told me before she left were some of the most harrowing i've heard, and may have snuffed out much of the isolationist rebelliousness i was nurturing.

for the years when i worked at the salon i passed the time reading celebrity gossip and flirting. without jenny there, i found there was no one to put blue dye in my hair. at that point, i was starting to grow weary of the touching-up process as well. my hair was getting longer and longer, and the process was getting more and more messy and frustrating. a friend of mine helped me for a while, but finally we both just let it go. i was frustrated with many things in my life and i think i just wanted hair i didn't have to mess with as much.

zane came to work at the salon, and i cherished my new friend and the dramatic but tasteful magic he worked with my hair. i remember when i first came to work at the salon, i was surprised i got the job: i didn't think my hair looked nice enough. i didn't think my clothes were trendy enough. i didn't think my make-up was polished enough. as time passed, though, i began to think that maybe that wasn't the case. when zane started doing my hair, i realized that pretty and dramatic were not mutually exclusive. looking back, i realize that the reason i wanted crazy hair (and you should have seen jenny's by the way) was because i felt like i couldn't be as pretty as i wanted, so i had to settle for being over-the-top. some people want to make a statement with their hair, but i finally realized that my self-esteem problems pushed me into making one.

these days my streaks are blonde and my highlights auburn and dark brown. my tongue is still pierced but people often don't even notice. i don't work at the salon anymore because all my other jobs keep me too busy. now i live in atlanta again, far away from the salon in decatur, but still i drive back to visit, gossip, and read celebrity gossip magazines. and when i'm feeling down, i always want to go let zane do something dramatic with my hair. something dramatic, and beautiful.

yours if you want me.

for ben.

Tony Millionaire, Sock Monkey, Vol. III
Dark Horse Books, Milwaukie, Oregon, 2004

birthday quizzes.

Your Birth Month is September

Tolerant and inspirational, you are wise beyond your years. You are universally sympathetic and a great humanitarian. Your soul reflects: Devotion, light, and love Your gemstone: Sapphire Your flower: Morning Glory Your colors: Brown and deep blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

You are 80% Virgo

How Virgo Are You?

You Are 76% Control Freak

You are a pretty major control freak, though you may not know it. While your confidence is inspiring, your bossy ways tend to scare people off.

Are You A Control Freak?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 68% Happy

You are a very happy person. Generally, you feel content and that all is right with the world. Occasionally, you have a down day - but you have the ability to pick yourself right back up.

How Happy Are You?

You Are Navy Blue

You're a true adventurer. You constantly find yourself drawn to new experiences, people, and places. Sometimes you feel quite scattered and bored. If something exciting isn't going on, you feel a bit lost.

What Color Blue Are You?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is in a very different place (both physically and mentally) from where you are right now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

a few pictures.

i will be SO GLAD when i finally get internet access at home (21 september, by the way).


nikki, amy, and myself, in our priceless tiaras,
high in the canadian rockies
(taken by amy's husband, jon).


ben and me at the aquarium.
ben looks so sweet and i look like a crazy person.
in case you didn't notice.


ben, thinking, at the botanical gardens.
perhaps he is thinking
"oh my, what have i gotten myself into?"
or perhaps
"is that a spider?"


my favorite of us. well, second favorite
(taken by ben).

gossamer gets a manicure

hi everyone.
er, i mean anyone. i'm not sure who, if anyone, actually reads this, especially now that it hasn't been updated in almost a month.

i apologize for not writing in so long. my life has been so crazy lately. i don't have access to the internet at my home, and since i haven't been spending 12-hour-long days at school, my ability to write blog entries during my break times has been somewhat abbreviated, understandably.

but, just so you're not worried (whoever you are...), i am fine, sam and max are fine, and i am actually quite happy, albeit way busier than i anticipated. i will fill you in on more details as soon as i can. hopefully before my birthday, which is wednesday.

i got some beautiful pictures in canada and will post some as soon as possible. i also got some cute ones of (me and) ben when he came to visit. i'll post some of them as well.

i hope you are well, whoever and wherever you are.
charity :)

you'd better study hard; the test is a doozy!

(courtesy of my friend nikki)

speaking of nikki, we're off to BANFF. so i will post again in september.
be good!
charity :)

a note from charity, abd

hi everyone-

i passed my defense! i have many revisions to make but i can't tell you what a relief it is to be done with it.

it wasn't as bad as i imagined it would be. i remembered my computer all the necessary attachments, and my friend Jesse loaned me a remote control which made the power point presentation go so much more smoothly. i called my advisor in from denmark but had no problems whatsoever. my committee had very helpful and extensive feedback for me, which made me more excited about the project, rather than defensive and protective of it. i got to wear my snazzy new pants and shirt with the little pearl buttons, and even though i forgot to wear deodorant because i was so nervous, i felt calm and collected. overall, it went very well, and my committee was very helpful and had a lot to say but very nice about it. they told me i had come a long way, and they told me that they, too, were excited about the project and pleased with the progress i have made.

so that's a relief. it's good to see my 12-hour-days paid off.

to celebrate i went to fellini's with my "bff" michael (you are so funny!) then went over to his apartment to hang out with he and his lovely wife susanna and their adorable son nicholas. we had a delicious dinner of spaghetti and ice cream. then we watched syriana, which kind of broke the mood a little-it was a great film and i have been wanting to see it, but it was kind of a downer. but we had brooklyn pale ale so it was all good.


michael enjoys the shade at fellini's.


nico takes a bite.


papa takes a bite.

yesterday i went to school and filed my paperwork to get my masters degree--yippee!--and then went out to eat at my favorite restaurant, madras. mmmm, naan bhaji and chole samosa. delicious!! that was with my friend alison. we played with my new camera and thanks to my constant reminders and rejoinders, she did NOT drop it in the food. i'm kind of a nag.


me.


me and alison.

i hope you are all well and taking care of yourself and don't feel too jealous since

I'M OFF TO BANFF SOON!!!!!

canada (via vegas) HERE WE COME!!

charity :)

30 minutes until my big presentation...

or...

2 hours until i'm ABD!!!



xoxo,
charity :)

watch what you say...

censorship can be dirty, as jimmy kimmel shows.

i am having such a hard time finishing my presentation!
power point is stupid. :)



it's a start!!!

123, 4, 5, 678 9, 10, 11! 12!

my favorite part of sesame street.

i've been watching clips from old shows on youtube in breaks between writing my defense presentation. i'm not sure how successful a strategy that is for preparing to sound smarter than i am, but at least it keeps a smile on my face. that's important too!

i ordered the best of the electric company, too. i'm excited. here's a really funny clip with victor borge. no wonder i was such an early reader.

it's been a rough day so far...

Make your own On Notice Board here.
See how the On Notice Board is really made in this clip from the Colbert Report.

an old but nice picture of me with baxter.

charity and baxter
Originally uploaded by edz7. This is me and Baxter last September at Jake and Amelia's wedding, a picture taken by my dad and posted on his flickr site. ahh... technology. There's a cute one of Baxter and Austin there, and a not cute one of me with Baxter and Dad and Sarah, and of course a nice one of Amelia and Jake, because at this wedding, my dad remembered a picture of the bride and groom, unlike me at Baxter and Austin's wedding (!!).

backstage at the wedding with amy.

Amy and Charity
Originally uploaded by charitydarity. i posted a couple more pictures from last weekend on flickr. you should be able to visit my page by clicking on the flickr link in the sidebar on the right.

surprise! it's a wedding!

austin is with anne, one of the flower girls. she bought her dress at anthropologie in nyc, and was in line behind kate winslett. little known fact.
austin, not anne.


the very nice ben (pictured above) performed the ceremony, and after the party we all blew bubbles at the couple as they walked to the stretch suburban to ride to the o'henry hotel.

we met at the hotel bar afterwards to celebrate with the couple, but i forgot to take pictures there in all the excitement. there are no pictures of the wedding ceremony because i was in it, and i thought baxter and austin might not appreciate me taking pictures from my particular position behind them. although i could have gotten some great shots and maybe recorded austin asking "can i kiss him yet?" immediately following their vows.

what a lovely weekend! i love you guys, and i'm so happy for you! xoxoxo!!

pictures from the engagement party (saturday).

baxter and austin are posing for engagement photos.


fancy cakes for an engagement party, if you ask me...


my mom and uncle dean are enjoying food before the announcement.


my dad is taking a picture while my stepmom looks on.

family hijinx the day of my arrival (thursday).

me and mom are playing with my new camera


my stepdad richard is hiding


my brother isaac is laughing

at the end of another 12-hour-day.

we have a very nice computer lab, at least.

i probably won't post again until next week, since my parents have dial-up, and i don't even have the patience to check my email on dial-up. plus it will be somewhat busy, what with my brother's engagement party and everything.

i am slowly but surely recovering from the plague. i just have a few more hours of work before i can leave, so i better get to it. :)

first:

orgasm or tasty meal? (courtesy of details magazine.)

back to work britney! if it wasn't for the platform flip-flops, i might not even recognize her...

shortbread for every meal!

when i was in London, the maid service in our hotels left little shortbread cookies (biscuits, whatever) and tea (with half and half!), which was such a nice change from the cheap bitter coffee and sweet-n-low/ powdered-milk-product i usually find in american hotel rooms. i became hooked. i mean, that's a reason for tea everyday! delicious. and since i was with my mom, who was working, and i was studying for a big exam, i just stayed in the hotel room a few days drinking tea and watching BBC. heaven!

when i got back to the states, i bought some shortbread at the farmer's market, and i was so sad i almost cried. i guess shipping from Scotland to London allows a lot less staleness than shipping from Scotland to georgia.

regardless, during this time of stress and sadness, while i struggle ferociously with my dissertation proposal (ACK!), these little stale shortbread fingers are some of the only things i have to look forward to at school. with twinings tea, of course. mmm, so that's nice.

my friend dates this guy who makes the best shortbread. it's a family recipe and man, is it good. i have to say, it would be hard for me to walk away from someone who could make shortbread that good. of course, we would end up being two little rotund biscuit eaters with heart problems from all the saturated fat, but i mean, small price to pay, right? for butter? i mean, true love?

medical freaks like me. well, not exactly like me...

i got this from goldenfiddle, who got it from esquire.



i got this from pitchfork.

enjoy...

"i am testing my new camera" or "about us."

This is Sam.
d.o.b. August 2004
Sam likes: playing with his toy carrot, catnip, sleeping inside the couch, max, charity, chips of any kind, but especially white corn tortilla, pizza crusts, playing with and snacking on big roaches and spiders from outside, sleeping, watching squirrels and the days pass from the window sill, watching cartoons for short periods of time, watching charity and max.
Sam dislikes: flea medicine applied to his neck, cat treats.


This is Max.
d.o.b. early 2002
Max likes: deli-slice treats from Purina, catnip, control, comforting charity and sam when she feels like it, sleeping undisturbed.
Max dislikes: everything else.


This is Charity.
d.o.b. 13 September 1977
Charity likes: tv on dvd, listening to music, non-smoking bars, big skies, camping, finishing things, her bed linens, cooking, her family and going home for the holidays (especially when karaoke is involved), sitting on the porch in the rain, sam and max, photography, travelling, board games, going to the movies, amusement parks, planetariums, science centers, aquariums, museums, and such, reading, getting things for free, having her hair and nails done.
Charity dislikes: people not using their turn signals, people who flip her off, loud talking and big crowds, driving in the rain, summers in atlanta, going to the mall, and being sick.

me behind the scenes at cable and tweed.

no alcohol since friday.

yes yes, i know it's because i'm sick. but i'm taking comfort in the fact as evidence that perhaps i am not an alcoholic after all. i mean, that's a whole week, and i don't even want any.

i do want to want it, though. i want to want to go home and make a nice dinner and have a glass of wine and read all these articles i have to read. going home and drinking cool water and occasionally eating a frozen fruit bar just isn't as appealing for some reason.

my fruit bars are really good, though. and they feel really good on my throat, which still hurts.

a slow death from the plague.

i'm going to the doctor today. again. since last time i went to the doctor it made me sick, i expect not to survive the week. i am so sick; i can't even remember feeling this sick before, but i know i have.


someone call the doctor!

the frustrating thing is i just have to work through it. i am 18 days away from defending my dissertation proposal, and my committee members who decide whether i pass or fail have "suggeseted" that i rewrite it. i have plenty of time (18 days) and i feel completely clear-headed. no wait, i don't. i'm listening to my ipod and i hear an echo. my hearing is muffled, and some songs actually seem to change keys unexpectedly. yesterday my ear hurt so much i thought i was going to die. i wake myself up coughing and i feel like i'm just dragging constantly. that, my friends, is the perfect attitude with which to undertake the writing of a dissertation proposal. no wait, it's not.

good news:
i got my camera and it is unbelievably amazing; it's like the best thing ever. i'm not exaggerating, either. i can't wait to post some pictures. maybe i'll get some good one's at my brother's engagement party next weekend!

what's worse than a hangover?

please humor me. i would like to tell you about my day yesterday. don't worry, it won't take long.

i woke up at about 9 and got dressed. feeling groggy and unable to breathe, i went to school to get the prescription for allergy medication i had gotten from the doctor last week (see previous entry). i got to my office and realized that i had the prescription all along, but i figured it wasn't a total waste, since i could check my email (i don't have the internet at home). as i was doing so, i thought, maybe i should get some work done while i'm here, but since i couldn't figure out whether to drop my prescription off before or after i did all this work, i just left. and of course i didn't even have any email, since i had checked it at a friend's house late the night before.

anyway, i got my prescription filled on the way home and bought a thermometer. when i got home, i felt faint, so i called a friend i was supposed to hang out with and told her i was going to take a nap first and i'd call her afterwards. keep in mind that at this point it was only 11 am.

so, i took a nap and when i woke up at 12 felt even worse. i cancelled with my friend and went back to sleep. at 2 i called the friend i was supposed to hang out with that night and cancelled. i managed to heat up some soup and potatoes, then watched Punch Drunk Love (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2002), barely managing to stay awake. at 4:30 i popped some popcorn and started reading Art and Lies (Jeanette Winterson, 1994). i finished it at 8:30 and went to sleep, waking up every two hours to blow my nose until finally arising for good at 5:30. and of course, all night max was worried about me, which prompted her to repeatedly attempt to secure a resting place on my pillow. and of course, i'm allergic to cats.

allergies. grr.


this website has a lot of information on allergies.
and it's all in french, for an added challenge.

good news for today: they are shipping my camera!


mmmmm, yes, precious....