Showing posts with label dissertation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dissertation. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
That's just the way it is!!
Some things will never change.
I had a great time in NYC after all that. Baxter is amazing! His project was a very neat game, and he curated a great show of the other Masters' Theses. The opening reception was super fun, and their cook out the next night was as super fun if not more super fun. Austin's parents came into town and they are really fun people, too. Yes, so basically: fun.
Highlights: Mom and I went to the same Mexican restaurant Thursday and Friday. They have amazing food (Pequena), and what's more, they had buy one, get one free margaritas! Yummmmmmmmmmmm. That was fun on Thursday, before we went to MoMA, where they were having an intriguing exhibit by performance artist Marina Abramović. Afterwards, we went to Baxter's/Parsons' Opening Reception for the Thesis Symposium.
Friday after our margaritas, we were going to go to Coney Island but that, um, didn't work out. Mom went to Baxter and Austin's adorable apartment to nap, and since I was in the mood for some exercise, I walked to the park for my nap. It was such a lovely day, truly.
I wandered back in time to help get ready for the cookout. Hilariously, we must have made about 15 trips to the corner store between us.
"Oh, we need to get the meat!"
"Oh, we need beer!"
"Oh, I need to get Guinness because I don't like lagers!"
"Oh, we need mayonnaise and ketchup!"
"Oh, we forgot tin foil!"
"Oh, we need more beer!"
It was wonderful. Baxter and Austin love their friends sooooo much, and every time I meet more of them, I understand why. They are very good hosts, too. The next morning I was feeling a bit ill all day. I almost lost it in the Metro, but managed to hold on to it. Mom and I barely made it to the keynote address by Baxter's own boss at the Symposium, but luckily we were able to hear most of it. What a great presentation! No wonder Baxter likes his job and his boss so much. Afterwards, we stopped by a restaurant with Austin's awesome parents, where I had soup and about 13 glasses of water (mmmm) since I couldn't ingest anything more at the moment.
After we got to the airport, I had a slice of pizza, since I was feeling better, and anyway, I can ALWAYS have a slice of pizza. I said goodbye to Mom at her gate where she waited for her connection to Greensboro and then my SWEET friend Chris Cap Hayes - who is also a brilliant improv artist and comedian - picked me up.
[Photos of the trip]
Sunday I was supposed to go to the High/Zoo but I really couldn't do it. I had to do laundry, go grocery shopping, pretend to clean for a significant amount of time, and play with my cats. Oh, and watch Series Two of The Catherine Tate Show, of course.
Hopefully I'll be able to get together with them another time. We had our last class together last night and it was really "so hard... to say goodbye... yesterday..." The good news is that several of them are planning to take the follow up courses, but we all need to wait, so hopefully we'll still be able to be in classes together again! We did scene studies last night. It was really fun, but I feel bad for my partner because I felt like a LUMP on a LOG. My energy was just about gone. I know, surprise! Oh, did I mention that we had a small event, a focus group meeting, and another meeting at work Monday and then I had to go to rehearsal from 9 until 11, after working out with Katie after work? And that Tuesday I had a staff meeting? Oh, I didn't? Well, I did. I am CRAZY TIRED. But happy.
COMMENCEMENT IS IN FIVE DAYS!!!!! Boo-yah.
I had a great time in NYC after all that. Baxter is amazing! His project was a very neat game, and he curated a great show of the other Masters' Theses. The opening reception was super fun, and their cook out the next night was as super fun if not more super fun. Austin's parents came into town and they are really fun people, too. Yes, so basically: fun.
Highlights: Mom and I went to the same Mexican restaurant Thursday and Friday. They have amazing food (Pequena), and what's more, they had buy one, get one free margaritas! Yummmmmmmmmmmm. That was fun on Thursday, before we went to MoMA, where they were having an intriguing exhibit by performance artist Marina Abramović. Afterwards, we went to Baxter's/Parsons' Opening Reception for the Thesis Symposium.
Friday after our margaritas, we were going to go to Coney Island but that, um, didn't work out. Mom went to Baxter and Austin's adorable apartment to nap, and since I was in the mood for some exercise, I walked to the park for my nap. It was such a lovely day, truly.
I wandered back in time to help get ready for the cookout. Hilariously, we must have made about 15 trips to the corner store between us.
"Oh, we need to get the meat!"
"Oh, we need beer!"
"Oh, I need to get Guinness because I don't like lagers!"
"Oh, we need mayonnaise and ketchup!"
"Oh, we forgot tin foil!"
"Oh, we need more beer!"
It was wonderful. Baxter and Austin love their friends sooooo much, and every time I meet more of them, I understand why. They are very good hosts, too. The next morning I was feeling a bit ill all day. I almost lost it in the Metro, but managed to hold on to it. Mom and I barely made it to the keynote address by Baxter's own boss at the Symposium, but luckily we were able to hear most of it. What a great presentation! No wonder Baxter likes his job and his boss so much. Afterwards, we stopped by a restaurant with Austin's awesome parents, where I had soup and about 13 glasses of water (mmmm) since I couldn't ingest anything more at the moment.
After we got to the airport, I had a slice of pizza, since I was feeling better, and anyway, I can ALWAYS have a slice of pizza. I said goodbye to Mom at her gate where she waited for her connection to Greensboro and then my SWEET friend Chris Cap Hayes - who is also a brilliant improv artist and comedian - picked me up.
[Photos of the trip]
Sunday I was supposed to go to the High/Zoo but I really couldn't do it. I had to do laundry, go grocery shopping, pretend to clean for a significant amount of time, and play with my cats. Oh, and watch Series Two of The Catherine Tate Show, of course.
Hopefully I'll be able to get together with them another time. We had our last class together last night and it was really "so hard... to say goodbye... yesterday..." The good news is that several of them are planning to take the follow up courses, but we all need to wait, so hopefully we'll still be able to be in classes together again! We did scene studies last night. It was really fun, but I feel bad for my partner because I felt like a LUMP on a LOG. My energy was just about gone. I know, surprise! Oh, did I mention that we had a small event, a focus group meeting, and another meeting at work Monday and then I had to go to rehearsal from 9 until 11, after working out with Katie after work? And that Tuesday I had a staff meeting? Oh, I didn't? Well, I did. I am CRAZY TIRED. But happy.
COMMENCEMENT IS IN FIVE DAYS!!!!! Boo-yah.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Projects
This blog has become less fun. First of all, no one reads it. Second of all, there is one person who reads it and insists on posting creepy comments that I have had to filter out now, which is a pain, and which given the low readership, is even MORE annoying. Third, I'm feeling very scattered lately. I'm never home. Literally, I'm at rehearsal of some kind at least three nights a week, and on the others, I'm sometimes volunteering at one, performing at one, and/or attending a friend's show at one. It makes for absolutely no time. Plus, I have to watch LOST and Real Housewives of NYC on two others. As you can see, that adds up to more than 7 days, meaning I'm usually double booked. It's literally wearing me down.
Plus, my dissertation advisor was in a bicycle accident, so he can't hood me in the graduation ceremony. I know I'm being selfish, but I really wanted him there. He's been such an amazing advisor. Even though he's so central to the department, and even though I've long felt alienated from it, he's always reached out to me and he's always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself (which was approximately 92% of the time). In the past 10 years, I've grown immensely and he's been so important to that. I honestly consider him like a third father. So yeah, I was disappointed. And also, worried!
So I'm tired. I'm going through my journals because I've been cataloging my improv and acting journals and recently came across one from college. Wow, I really have grown up. I usually feel like a kid who doesn't know what's going on and doesn't have any control over my life, but I realize now that not only do I really have that power, but I really DO feel in control most of the time. I'd love to get the writings from my journals all consolidated. My grandmother was trying to write her memoirs before she died, I remember. I really wish she would have. She had an amazing life. I don't fancy my life as amazing, but I do think that it would be nice to read it myself someday, even if I don't have kids. And I recently read the memoirs of my paternal great-great aunt, which didn't mention any of my direct kin, but found it fascinating. Of course, I'm not from a holler in southeastern Virginia, but I think North Carolina is pretty good, too.
And honestly, when I log on to Blogger I usually have to read about 8 blog entries from my friends, so by the time I finish that I basically want to log off and I basically have to anyway, since that takes me about an hour.
So it is what it is. I may remove this blog, actually, and add it to my stack of journals. But I'll probably just leave it up and post random videos and photos and things. Anyway, I won't be investing much time in it anymore, I reckon. But thanks for whatever.
xo,
Charity
Plus, my dissertation advisor was in a bicycle accident, so he can't hood me in the graduation ceremony. I know I'm being selfish, but I really wanted him there. He's been such an amazing advisor. Even though he's so central to the department, and even though I've long felt alienated from it, he's always reached out to me and he's always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself (which was approximately 92% of the time). In the past 10 years, I've grown immensely and he's been so important to that. I honestly consider him like a third father. So yeah, I was disappointed. And also, worried!
So I'm tired. I'm going through my journals because I've been cataloging my improv and acting journals and recently came across one from college. Wow, I really have grown up. I usually feel like a kid who doesn't know what's going on and doesn't have any control over my life, but I realize now that not only do I really have that power, but I really DO feel in control most of the time. I'd love to get the writings from my journals all consolidated. My grandmother was trying to write her memoirs before she died, I remember. I really wish she would have. She had an amazing life. I don't fancy my life as amazing, but I do think that it would be nice to read it myself someday, even if I don't have kids. And I recently read the memoirs of my paternal great-great aunt, which didn't mention any of my direct kin, but found it fascinating. Of course, I'm not from a holler in southeastern Virginia, but I think North Carolina is pretty good, too.
And honestly, when I log on to Blogger I usually have to read about 8 blog entries from my friends, so by the time I finish that I basically want to log off and I basically have to anyway, since that takes me about an hour.
So it is what it is. I may remove this blog, actually, and add it to my stack of journals. But I'll probably just leave it up and post random videos and photos and things. Anyway, I won't be investing much time in it anymore, I reckon. But thanks for whatever.
xo,
Charity
Sunday, August 05, 2007
this week
This week.
-- I spent $20 mailing a package to my friend's daughter in Las Vegas. Which is funny, since the package consists of two box sets of "young adult" novels that cost me a pretty penny initially, but were just sitting on my shelves. I wrapped them in the most interesting paper I had to make them look more gift-like, but unfortunately the most interesting paper I had was a realtor's mailer. Then I forgot the card so I wrote a note on a request for certified mail I picked up in the Post Office and stuffed it in the box. The lady chided me, once I finally got to the front of the line about 30 minutes after beginning my wait, "Why didn't you just use the flat rate boxes? It would have been so much cheaper." Beyond my control, I swear, I glared at her. This was after she kindly offered me priority mail tape since I had forgotten mine and didn't want to pay $3.50 for a roll of tape exactly like the one I had at home. This, I realized when she rang it up, was exactly why I had to pay so much to ship it as well. Glare. Glare. Glare. Incidentally, this is also why Olivia should have her package today instead of next week. Of course, she's visiting her grandparents until three weeks from now. In North Carolina. Whatever. Glare.
-- I hit the 10 pounds down mark yesterday. Then for various reasons I pigged out on Robert's American Gourmet "Pirate's Booty" so I gained a pound back. That still leaves me 8 and a half pounds down, though, so I won't complain about an unfortunate binge that was the result of a painful conflation of several unfortunate turns of events (explained below).
-- Friday I finally finished transcribing my first interview! Now I just have 8 more to transcribe, 3 more to schedule, and 15 more to find out where and how the hell I'm going to get these physicians to talk to me.
-- My advisor advised me to send out a paper for publication (I guess it was my idea, but he's behind it). He's supportive and thinks that although I'll have to do another version of it, I shouldn't have to change much. The good news is that once I get that publication out, I'll be a much stronger candidate for getting a job. The bad news is that until I get that out, I won't be such a strong candidate for getting a job. That is unfortunate, since there are several jobs right now that I'd really like to be qualified for.
-- I got my hair cut (see blog posting below). I like the salon, but it was too pricey for it's own good. The reason I went there is because every time I go to Key Lime Pie, the people I saw before aren't there anymore. The girl who did my hair did a good job, but I feel like, and I know this might sound snobby, but if I'm paying top dollar (to me) for hair-doing, I want to be pampered a little. At Key Lime Pie, they bring you tea, and everything is very nice and stylish, and comfy. Plus they use Aveda color. The place I went yesterday would have been nice if it was significantly cheaper. As it was, I felt like I wasted my money a little, since it was kind of a "no frills" type of place but I was paying "frills" prices. I was also really nervous about it, since I wanted a really good hair cut for my job interviews (at the ASA meetings in NYC next week) and my portrait (end of August). I remembered too late that I wanted to try this place called "Fresche" in Grant Park. Next time. When I'm 30.
-- I am glad I went there yesterday, though, even though I was so nervous towards the end (I feel like she took so long on the color that she rushed the cut a little). The reason I'm glad is because the lady who did my hair is 9 months pregnant. Now why would that matter? She used IUI (intrauterine insemination) to get pregnant, because things just didn't work out. I was excited to hear that (she volunteered the information, obviously, which was actually kind of strange; she must talk about it all the time). I asked her all about it, since I've often thought that's what I'll have to do someday. I'll round 36 and still be single with no prospects, and start really worrying; hopefully by then I'll have a job so can afford to pursue alternatives. So she's telling me all about it and I'm listening, fascinated. She mentions how she lost most of her friends because they're still in the "party all the time" mindset (which intrigues me, considering she's 38). I think for a minute about how that's totally the opposite of my situation. I want to party all the time but all my friends have babies. Anyway, then she says, "but don't worry; 6 weeks and I'm back doing hair." 6 weeks?
"What are you going to do with your tiny baby?"
"My dad is going to keep him."
"6 weeks old babies are awfully tiny! How are you going to be able to leave him?"
"Hey, single mom here. I don't have many options."
Oh yeah. I remembered all the reasons I don't want to have a baby by myself and all of a sudden all the sadness of all the plans I had came rushing back. It's sad to plan a life with someone and then have it ripped out of your hands. At that point, all my excitement melted away and I was totally depressed again.
"So what are you doing tonight?" She asked as she finished styling my hair.
"Nothing," I responded, bleakly in my mind, but hopefully coming across as nonchalant.
"Well, you have to go out! You just got your hair done! Call up some friends and just go out to dinner or something."
"Yeah," I replied, again trying to sound not-pathetic.
I drove away from the salon in a funk. I called my friends in Atlanta and of course my friends in Atlanta consist of two small families, who for obvious reasons (one three and a half years old and one seven and a half months old) couldn't drop everything and go out with me to show off my new haircut.
Luckily, USA was showing a marathon of Law and Order: SVU, as usual, so I watched that. I think I was too depressed to watch the movie I rented: Days of Being Wild, an early Wong Kar-Wai film.
[Hence, the pirate's booty.]
-- Last night I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. At the risk of sounding too dorky, it was super-awesome. I can't wait to go read the series again. I put off seeing the Order of the Phoenix because I was reading the last book and I heard the movie wasn't that good. Maybe I'll go see a matinee showing of it today with all the other little children.
-- This next week I'm going to try to get a couple of interviews scheduled (if not done), and at least work on more transcriptions. I have to go to school today and print stuff out for class, which thankfully ends this week. I also have to get my teaching stuff ready for the ASA interviews that will probably not happen ("Be prepared!"). I need to take syllabi, assignments, copies of my CV, etc.
I also need to go through my dissertation and my tiny amount of data, so I can have something to say when asked that dreaded (by me) question: "So what is your data showing so far?"
Let me tell you. So far, it's seeming pretty bleak.
-- I spent $20 mailing a package to my friend's daughter in Las Vegas. Which is funny, since the package consists of two box sets of "young adult" novels that cost me a pretty penny initially, but were just sitting on my shelves. I wrapped them in the most interesting paper I had to make them look more gift-like, but unfortunately the most interesting paper I had was a realtor's mailer. Then I forgot the card so I wrote a note on a request for certified mail I picked up in the Post Office and stuffed it in the box. The lady chided me, once I finally got to the front of the line about 30 minutes after beginning my wait, "Why didn't you just use the flat rate boxes? It would have been so much cheaper." Beyond my control, I swear, I glared at her. This was after she kindly offered me priority mail tape since I had forgotten mine and didn't want to pay $3.50 for a roll of tape exactly like the one I had at home. This, I realized when she rang it up, was exactly why I had to pay so much to ship it as well. Glare. Glare. Glare. Incidentally, this is also why Olivia should have her package today instead of next week. Of course, she's visiting her grandparents until three weeks from now. In North Carolina. Whatever. Glare.
-- I hit the 10 pounds down mark yesterday. Then for various reasons I pigged out on Robert's American Gourmet "Pirate's Booty" so I gained a pound back. That still leaves me 8 and a half pounds down, though, so I won't complain about an unfortunate binge that was the result of a painful conflation of several unfortunate turns of events (explained below).
-- Friday I finally finished transcribing my first interview! Now I just have 8 more to transcribe, 3 more to schedule, and 15 more to find out where and how the hell I'm going to get these physicians to talk to me.
-- My advisor advised me to send out a paper for publication (I guess it was my idea, but he's behind it). He's supportive and thinks that although I'll have to do another version of it, I shouldn't have to change much. The good news is that once I get that publication out, I'll be a much stronger candidate for getting a job. The bad news is that until I get that out, I won't be such a strong candidate for getting a job. That is unfortunate, since there are several jobs right now that I'd really like to be qualified for.
-- I got my hair cut (see blog posting below). I like the salon, but it was too pricey for it's own good. The reason I went there is because every time I go to Key Lime Pie, the people I saw before aren't there anymore. The girl who did my hair did a good job, but I feel like, and I know this might sound snobby, but if I'm paying top dollar (to me) for hair-doing, I want to be pampered a little. At Key Lime Pie, they bring you tea, and everything is very nice and stylish, and comfy. Plus they use Aveda color. The place I went yesterday would have been nice if it was significantly cheaper. As it was, I felt like I wasted my money a little, since it was kind of a "no frills" type of place but I was paying "frills" prices. I was also really nervous about it, since I wanted a really good hair cut for my job interviews (at the ASA meetings in NYC next week) and my portrait (end of August). I remembered too late that I wanted to try this place called "Fresche" in Grant Park. Next time. When I'm 30.
-- I am glad I went there yesterday, though, even though I was so nervous towards the end (I feel like she took so long on the color that she rushed the cut a little). The reason I'm glad is because the lady who did my hair is 9 months pregnant. Now why would that matter? She used IUI (intrauterine insemination) to get pregnant, because things just didn't work out. I was excited to hear that (she volunteered the information, obviously, which was actually kind of strange; she must talk about it all the time). I asked her all about it, since I've often thought that's what I'll have to do someday. I'll round 36 and still be single with no prospects, and start really worrying; hopefully by then I'll have a job so can afford to pursue alternatives. So she's telling me all about it and I'm listening, fascinated. She mentions how she lost most of her friends because they're still in the "party all the time" mindset (which intrigues me, considering she's 38). I think for a minute about how that's totally the opposite of my situation. I want to party all the time but all my friends have babies. Anyway, then she says, "but don't worry; 6 weeks and I'm back doing hair." 6 weeks?
"What are you going to do with your tiny baby?"
"My dad is going to keep him."
"6 weeks old babies are awfully tiny! How are you going to be able to leave him?"
"Hey, single mom here. I don't have many options."
Oh yeah. I remembered all the reasons I don't want to have a baby by myself and all of a sudden all the sadness of all the plans I had came rushing back. It's sad to plan a life with someone and then have it ripped out of your hands. At that point, all my excitement melted away and I was totally depressed again.
"So what are you doing tonight?" She asked as she finished styling my hair.
"Nothing," I responded, bleakly in my mind, but hopefully coming across as nonchalant.
"Well, you have to go out! You just got your hair done! Call up some friends and just go out to dinner or something."
"Yeah," I replied, again trying to sound not-pathetic.
I drove away from the salon in a funk. I called my friends in Atlanta and of course my friends in Atlanta consist of two small families, who for obvious reasons (one three and a half years old and one seven and a half months old) couldn't drop everything and go out with me to show off my new haircut.
Luckily, USA was showing a marathon of Law and Order: SVU, as usual, so I watched that. I think I was too depressed to watch the movie I rented: Days of Being Wild, an early Wong Kar-Wai film.
[Hence, the pirate's booty.]
-- Last night I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. At the risk of sounding too dorky, it was super-awesome. I can't wait to go read the series again. I put off seeing the Order of the Phoenix because I was reading the last book and I heard the movie wasn't that good. Maybe I'll go see a matinee showing of it today with all the other little children.
-- This next week I'm going to try to get a couple of interviews scheduled (if not done), and at least work on more transcriptions. I have to go to school today and print stuff out for class, which thankfully ends this week. I also have to get my teaching stuff ready for the ASA interviews that will probably not happen ("Be prepared!"). I need to take syllabi, assignments, copies of my CV, etc.
I also need to go through my dissertation and my tiny amount of data, so I can have something to say when asked that dreaded (by me) question: "So what is your data showing so far?"
Let me tell you. So far, it's seeming pretty bleak.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
good news? are you kidding?
No, seriously. There is some good stuff to share. In no particular order:
1) I have gotten 8 interviews done for my dissertation! 30 minutes into the last one, which was yesterday, my silly little digital voice recorder shut off. It's an Olympus WS-100, and I love it because it was very cheap and until yesterday had been somewhat reliable. I'm not sure what happened yesterday. It issued forth a nervous beep, I picked it up and saw it flashing "Lo" and an empty battery, and then it immediately turned itself off. Hmm, that was weird, I thought, because I always anal-ly check the battery before I leave. Luckily, the part of the interview that I really needed most to be in his words was captured pre-meltdown (this I consider a great blessing, since we actually did the interview backwards as it turned out, and under normal circumstances I would have missed that part!). The crazy part was that after this, I started frantically writing down the things he said and then my pen ran out of ink! No, I'm not kidding! So I had to stop him and Bless his heart, he offered me a pen. What a very nice guy he was. I love interviewing acupuncturists. I have met some really great people. I'll never forget the sweet man who told me, "You will have many successes" at the end of our interview. I am actually looking forward to transcribing that one. Of course, I'm almost done with the acupuncturist interviews (yay!) so I'll soon have to move on to physicians. Eek. I'm a little more nervous about them. Well, once thing at a time.
2) I saw Transformers. Awesome. It's not the cartoon version. Get over it, nerds. It's fiction anyway.
From this website.
3) I finally bought a new iPod to replace the one that was viciously and maliciously stolen from my car during that thunder storm. Poor Jeffrey, out there alone in this world, probably he ended up in the locker of some rude rich teenager troublemaker who was disappointed that the iPod he lucked upon when he and his friends were causing random destruction of the neighborhood cars was a pre-video version. Poor little Jeffrey. It was hard for me to replace my sweet little boy, who also happened to be very expensive to replace. I ended up buying another one online at the Apple Store. It was a pretty good price; I got the 30 GB Video-playing iPod. I don't really need one that big or with video-playing capability, but it was the smallest one they had. The best part is that I could get little Jeffrey, Jr. engraved. He's so sweet, and this time I got the black one. I'm really enjoying it.
4) My stepdad is getting better and better. He should be going back to work in a week or so, light duty at first. I'm so lucky that they caught his blockage before he had a heart attack. Life is good.
5) I am on Weight Watchers and finally feel like I am gaining control over how I look. I figured, I'm turning 30 in a couple of months; I don't know what I want to do to celebrate (nothing seems exciting enough to match how truly excited I really am about it, in some very sick-feeling way) but I know I want to look as good as possible doing it. I've been exercising regularly for some time now but only after I started watching what I eat have I begun to lose weight. It feels really good. I look forward to fitting into my clothes again. Maybe I'll buy a new skirt or something, although I'm actually pretty happy with all of my clothes, I just wish I fit into them without looking like a white-collar hooker. :)
From this website.
6) In honor of my monumental birthday, I have decided to get a portrait made (photography). I'm pretty excited about that, and I know my family members will be excited to have a portrait of me that is less than 12 years old. I wish my cats could be in it, but I'd like to get it made somewhere outside the city, or in a park or something, and I don't really think the cats would enjoy the trip. I'm starting to think that maybe I'll try to get it made on my birthday. Making this decision has been strangely empowering. Most people get portraits made when they get engaged or married, or have a baby. Getting this portrait made is like saying that I am enough. It's empowering, but it's not actually how I saw myself spending my thirtieth birthday. Sometimes I get pretty sad about the things in my life that I don't have that I always wanted, but the truth is, when I manage to forget about the social pressures or socially constructed expectations (of others and of myself), I realize that my life is exactly how I want it to be. I would like to have kids one day, but I can, as soon as I get a stable job. It's funny, that's kind of how I always wanted to do it anyway. I don't actually enjoy being in romantic relationships. Sometimes I laugh when I catch myself mourning the lack of one in my life.
7) I am not sure if I have emphasized in the past how much I love the show "What Not to Wear" on TLC. If I had to choose between a What Not to Wear episode and a Top Chef episode, I would be very stressed out. (Although it does alarm me how many of the worst dressed people actually watch the show, apparently having learned nothing.)
From this website.
8) Speaking of looking good, I am really digging my shorter hair. The front layers follow my jaw line, and the back layers rest at the top of my back. This guy did a great job. I hope he's still there when I go back (the turnover rate at my salon is higher than the one at McDonald's, I swear). I'm thinking about getting my hair done before my portrait. How luxurious. I can't wait until I get a real job.
9) Oh, speaking of real jobs, UNCG is hiring! I probably won't get the job (and wouldn't want it, actually) because they are trying to be more of a research university (the way many state schools are going, in attempting to get more funding), but it's so nice to know that schools in Greensboro actually do hire people. :) Of course, I must admit that this makes it seem unlikely that they will hire an adjunct lecturer for the year after I graduate, and I was kind of hoping to get a job like that, since they're much less research-oriented than tenure track positions (and therefore more perfect for me, aside from the instability variable. Anyway, seeing this position advertised makes me very excited about the possibility of actually getting a job, period! I mean, exclamation point!
10) Sometimes I think that maybe I'm thirty and single because my potential family is out there waiting for me to get a job in that town and then move there, making it possible for my intended family to find me. How exciting to know that somewhere out there is a place for me. I just have to find it. And the fact is, I have no choice but to find it. :) And in the meantime, my life is a lot less complicated and stressful than it could be.
The moral of the story:
Life really is what you make of it. Two people, both given the same pile of shit to work with, may choose to a) mope and complain and feel bad, or b) make a shit sandwich. (If you haven't seen Drowning Mona, you really should.) See, I have my moments of optimism, too!
Charity :)
1) I have gotten 8 interviews done for my dissertation! 30 minutes into the last one, which was yesterday, my silly little digital voice recorder shut off. It's an Olympus WS-100, and I love it because it was very cheap and until yesterday had been somewhat reliable. I'm not sure what happened yesterday. It issued forth a nervous beep, I picked it up and saw it flashing "Lo" and an empty battery, and then it immediately turned itself off. Hmm, that was weird, I thought, because I always anal-ly check the battery before I leave. Luckily, the part of the interview that I really needed most to be in his words was captured pre-meltdown (this I consider a great blessing, since we actually did the interview backwards as it turned out, and under normal circumstances I would have missed that part!). The crazy part was that after this, I started frantically writing down the things he said and then my pen ran out of ink! No, I'm not kidding! So I had to stop him and Bless his heart, he offered me a pen. What a very nice guy he was. I love interviewing acupuncturists. I have met some really great people. I'll never forget the sweet man who told me, "You will have many successes" at the end of our interview. I am actually looking forward to transcribing that one. Of course, I'm almost done with the acupuncturist interviews (yay!) so I'll soon have to move on to physicians. Eek. I'm a little more nervous about them. Well, once thing at a time.
2) I saw Transformers. Awesome. It's not the cartoon version. Get over it, nerds. It's fiction anyway.
3) I finally bought a new iPod to replace the one that was viciously and maliciously stolen from my car during that thunder storm. Poor Jeffrey, out there alone in this world, probably he ended up in the locker of some rude rich teenager troublemaker who was disappointed that the iPod he lucked upon when he and his friends were causing random destruction of the neighborhood cars was a pre-video version. Poor little Jeffrey. It was hard for me to replace my sweet little boy, who also happened to be very expensive to replace. I ended up buying another one online at the Apple Store. It was a pretty good price; I got the 30 GB Video-playing iPod. I don't really need one that big or with video-playing capability, but it was the smallest one they had. The best part is that I could get little Jeffrey, Jr. engraved. He's so sweet, and this time I got the black one. I'm really enjoying it.
4) My stepdad is getting better and better. He should be going back to work in a week or so, light duty at first. I'm so lucky that they caught his blockage before he had a heart attack. Life is good.
5) I am on Weight Watchers and finally feel like I am gaining control over how I look. I figured, I'm turning 30 in a couple of months; I don't know what I want to do to celebrate (nothing seems exciting enough to match how truly excited I really am about it, in some very sick-feeling way) but I know I want to look as good as possible doing it. I've been exercising regularly for some time now but only after I started watching what I eat have I begun to lose weight. It feels really good. I look forward to fitting into my clothes again. Maybe I'll buy a new skirt or something, although I'm actually pretty happy with all of my clothes, I just wish I fit into them without looking like a white-collar hooker. :)
6) In honor of my monumental birthday, I have decided to get a portrait made (photography). I'm pretty excited about that, and I know my family members will be excited to have a portrait of me that is less than 12 years old. I wish my cats could be in it, but I'd like to get it made somewhere outside the city, or in a park or something, and I don't really think the cats would enjoy the trip. I'm starting to think that maybe I'll try to get it made on my birthday. Making this decision has been strangely empowering. Most people get portraits made when they get engaged or married, or have a baby. Getting this portrait made is like saying that I am enough. It's empowering, but it's not actually how I saw myself spending my thirtieth birthday. Sometimes I get pretty sad about the things in my life that I don't have that I always wanted, but the truth is, when I manage to forget about the social pressures or socially constructed expectations (of others and of myself), I realize that my life is exactly how I want it to be. I would like to have kids one day, but I can, as soon as I get a stable job. It's funny, that's kind of how I always wanted to do it anyway. I don't actually enjoy being in romantic relationships. Sometimes I laugh when I catch myself mourning the lack of one in my life.
7) I am not sure if I have emphasized in the past how much I love the show "What Not to Wear" on TLC. If I had to choose between a What Not to Wear episode and a Top Chef episode, I would be very stressed out. (Although it does alarm me how many of the worst dressed people actually watch the show, apparently having learned nothing.)
8) Speaking of looking good, I am really digging my shorter hair. The front layers follow my jaw line, and the back layers rest at the top of my back. This guy did a great job. I hope he's still there when I go back (the turnover rate at my salon is higher than the one at McDonald's, I swear). I'm thinking about getting my hair done before my portrait. How luxurious. I can't wait until I get a real job.
9) Oh, speaking of real jobs, UNCG is hiring! I probably won't get the job (and wouldn't want it, actually) because they are trying to be more of a research university (the way many state schools are going, in attempting to get more funding), but it's so nice to know that schools in Greensboro actually do hire people. :) Of course, I must admit that this makes it seem unlikely that they will hire an adjunct lecturer for the year after I graduate, and I was kind of hoping to get a job like that, since they're much less research-oriented than tenure track positions (and therefore more perfect for me, aside from the instability variable. Anyway, seeing this position advertised makes me very excited about the possibility of actually getting a job, period! I mean, exclamation point!
10) Sometimes I think that maybe I'm thirty and single because my potential family is out there waiting for me to get a job in that town and then move there, making it possible for my intended family to find me. How exciting to know that somewhere out there is a place for me. I just have to find it. And the fact is, I have no choice but to find it. :) And in the meantime, my life is a lot less complicated and stressful than it could be.
The moral of the story:
Life really is what you make of it. Two people, both given the same pile of shit to work with, may choose to a) mope and complain and feel bad, or b) make a shit sandwich. (If you haven't seen Drowning Mona, you really should.) See, I have my moments of optimism, too!
Charity :)
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