Projects

This blog has become less fun. First of all, no one reads it. Second of all, there is one person who reads it and insists on posting creepy comments that I have had to filter out now, which is a pain, and which given the low readership, is even MORE annoying. Third, I'm feeling very scattered lately. I'm never home. Literally, I'm at rehearsal of some kind at least three nights a week, and on the others, I'm sometimes volunteering at one, performing at one, and/or attending a friend's show at one. It makes for absolutely no time. Plus, I have to watch LOST and Real Housewives of NYC on two others. As you can see, that adds up to more than 7 days, meaning I'm usually double booked. It's literally wearing me down.

Plus, my dissertation advisor was in a bicycle accident, so he can't hood me in the graduation ceremony. I know I'm being selfish, but I really wanted him there. He's been such an amazing advisor. Even though he's so central to the department, and even though I've long felt alienated from it, he's always reached out to me and he's always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself (which was approximately 92% of the time). In the past 10 years, I've grown immensely and he's been so important to that. I honestly consider him like a third father. So yeah, I was disappointed. And also, worried!

So I'm tired. I'm going through my journals because I've been cataloging my improv and acting journals and recently came across one from college. Wow, I really have grown up. I usually feel like a kid who doesn't know what's going on and doesn't have any control over my life, but I realize now that not only do I really have that power, but I really DO feel in control most of the time. I'd love to get the writings from my journals all consolidated. My grandmother was trying to write her memoirs before she died, I remember. I really wish she would have. She had an amazing life. I don't fancy my life as amazing, but I do think that it would be nice to read it myself someday, even if I don't have kids. And I recently read the memoirs of my paternal great-great aunt, which didn't mention any of my direct kin, but found it fascinating. Of course, I'm not from a holler in southeastern Virginia, but I think North Carolina is pretty good, too.

And honestly, when I log on to Blogger I usually have to read about 8 blog entries from my friends, so by the time I finish that I basically want to log off and I basically have to anyway, since that takes me about an hour.

So it is what it is. I may remove this blog, actually, and add it to my stack of journals. But I'll probably just leave it up and post random videos and photos and things. Anyway, I won't be investing much time in it anymore, I reckon. But thanks for whatever.

xo,
Charity