40 before 40 (study/quiz 1)

So I guess I'll do one of these 40 before 40 things because why not. I always like to do an adventure on my birthday, and I haven't done quizzes in a while, so creating the list will allow me to take a lot of these as quizzes plus then I'll have a good list of mini-adventures to do before 40.

Not that anyone's counting, but I have 105 days, so I should have time to get a list and then complete all the tasks. WHAT AM I, BUSY OR SOMETHING? Why not add more stress?

I mean - fun!

This list is originally from PureWow.

1. Fall in love. 

Done and done and done and done and done...

2. Get her heart broken. 

Done and done and done and done and done...

3. Find a gyno that doesn’t make her feel like a seventh-grader in sex ed. 

Done - but I haven't found one yet in Durham, so I do need to do that. Not that it's an adventure I think worthy of adding to this list. Although it would be a very responsible addition.

4. Take a solo vacation. 

I stayed at our timeshare for an extra week by myself once and that was really nice. Lots of reading and listening to the waves. It's really nice to set your own schedule when on vacation.

5. Skinny-dip. 

Done, but not since college.

6. Try a short haircut (it’s OK if “short” means shoulder-length). 

Done. And thanks for clarifying that "it's OK" if I don't go all the way. [eye roll] In fact, I don't think I could get it much shorter than it was at my wedding. I mean technically she called it a "long pixie" so I guess there's always the option of a "short pixie." Either way, it was awesome and I often consider getting it cut really short again. Then I remember how long it took to grow out and I reconsider.

7. Cook Thanksgiving dinner. 

Done. Except, hmm. I would have appreciated an "it's OK if you're mostly vegetarian and the thought of massaging oil and spices into a dead featherless bird that looks eerily like a human baby totally grosses you out. Feel free to let someone else do that part or skip cooking a turkey - that still counts as Thanksgiving dinner."

8. Perform karaoke. 

Done and bought the machine. Well, received it as a gift from my parents who are the best.

9. Read Jane Austen.

Done several times over. Actually lost my virginity after watching Sense and Sensibility (1995 film). Don't think about that too hard.

10. Own a dress she feels stunning in. 

The problem with this is that lots of people who struggle with self-esteem never actually feel "stunning" so can we change that to a different word? Maybe "sexy"? Or "like she's not embarrassing herself too terribly"? I really like my red dress and before I gained a bunch of weight I felt that it looked really good on me. I bought it for myself for my 36th birthday at the Bettie Page store in San Francisco, too, so additional points for that.

11. Own a handbag she’s proud to bring to a job interview. 

Sure I like bringing my wooden purse around. It gets lots of complements (takes attention off terrible-fitting dresses). Mom bought it for me in the Dominican Republic.

12. Own a toiletries bag that’s more than a Ziploc sack streaked with sunscreen. 

LOL THIS LIST IS FOR WOMEN OF A CERTAIN AGE NOT TEENAGE BOYS RIGHT?!

Done since high school. Please.

13. Understand her color palette. 

In the late eighties I got my color palette done and they said I should wear 1) gold jewelry and 2) turquoise and pink makeup and clothes. I decided color palettes were not for me at that time, which I feel was a very grown-up decision. Now I know 1) I wear mostly silver jewelry, 2) I look good in green, 3) I wear lots of navy and indigo because they are my favorites, and 4) I wear lots of black because it matches so many things and is forgiving of a few extra pounds. So I guess yes, I understand my color palette.

14. Have a stance on organized religion. 

Done.

15. Have an orgasm. 

Done.

16. Operate a power drill. 

Done.

17. Ride a roller-coaster. 

Done but THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH ROLLER COASTERS.

18. Ride a motorcycle (yes, on the back, going six miles an hour counts). 

No, thank you.

19. Sleep outside, in a tent. 

Done. You should actually clarify "under a tarp" because that's a totally different experience. Or "under the stars" because wow.

20. Make a presentation in front of 20 people or more. 

Done.

21. Tell off a stranger. 

Working in the service industry for so many years, I've been told off by enough strangers to know that this is an extremely shitty thing to do and makes you look like a raging asshole and an idiot and people remember it and it can make them feel bad even years later. Also, you never know when someone's cat just died. I don't do this and you shouldn't either. Shame on you, quiz. [Wait does that count as telling off a stranger?]

22. Apologize to a stranger. 

I'm sorry, quiz.

23. Accidentally send an email to the wrong person and then realize that life goes on. 

Done. Like I did the SHIT out of this one.

24. Learn how to knit. 

Uh, done? Kind-of?

25. Forget how to knit. 

Ok, then yes.

26. Decide she’s comfortable with her crafting skills, whatever they may be. 

Definitely.

27. Host a dinner party. 

Done! I love it! I want to do it again and I think about it all the time but Collin doesn't really like my cooking so it's a little awkward...

28. Know how to order a bottle of wine. 

Indeed. It's all about pseudo-confidence baby.

29. Do something big and selfless for the planet or the people living on it. 

Hmm, I guess working for nonprofits doesn't really count? I'll have to think about this one.

30. Vote for a winning president. 

OBAMA COME BACK PLEASE!!

31. Play the lottery. 

Done! I've even won the lottery, although not much. :-)

32. Negotiate a raise. 

Done. So tough. I'm still really proud.

33. Start a 401(k). 

Well, 403(b).

34. Tell her mother/grandmother/favorite lady mentor just how influential she’s been. 

Done lots of times.

35. Help a friend through a difficult time. 

Done.

36. Accept a friend’s help during a difficult time. 

Done. It's easy to accept but hard to ask for.

37. Figure out how to make a house a home. 

Done - plants and books and cats and framed diplomas.

38. Grow something green. 

Done!

39. Salvage something broken. 

Well - lots of my furniture used to come from weird places and much of it was broken or worked in special ways so yes. I also glue stuff together a lot so yes. This one is a definite.

40. Dance like no one’s watching (bonus points if it’s the moonwalk).

At least once a week, but not the moonwalk.

A Drive Across the United States

My revolutionary uterus.

Seriously. Ouch. I believe there might be a Little Big Horn type last stand going on in my reproductive system:

"I just want you to know, Charity, that WE ARE STILL NOT PREGNANT IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED. What, do you think we're a youngster?!! Do you think we have all the time in the bloody world?!? BECAUSE WE DON'T. We're running out of time and you better RECOGNIZE IT. Come this time next month, if there is not a baby/parasite up in here, I'm done. No more. This will be our LAST EGG. Do you hear me now?!?! GOOD."

Lighten up already!

I came home from work yesterday, fed the cats, drank a beer and ate some pineapple pizza, took a bath, did 30 minutes of Yin Yoga (it was too much to try to do "real" yoga), and was in bed by 9. I swallowed two Tylenol PMs on my way down, and although I woke up when my alarm rang at 6:30 this morning, I went back to sleep until 8:30. Yes, that is almost 12 hours of sleep. But until you have to deal with the riot in my belly, you are not allowed to judge.

Tonight is the first night of my embroidery class though! I'm very excited. I hope there are nice people there. It's at my favorite Atlanta fabric store, Whipstitch, and I'm hopeful about spending more time there in the future. I already made a coaster, dangit! And it is AWESOME.

OK, peace to you and also unto my uterus,
Charity :-)

PS-I'm re-reading Grendel, which was one of my favorite books from high school. It's even better than I remembered! I think my uterus has a new name.

Update: Relaxation Weekend O' Ten, Number Two, Day One.

Right now, I'd love to be at the theatre, because Drew is in her first mainstage show, ROCKING IT I'm sure. Unfortunately, after the week I had, I needed a mental sanity day. Thus, I have dedicated this weekend as Relaxation Weekend O' Ten Number Two.

Today I have done the following:

• I saved an inchworm from certain death.
• I finally got our website live at work! I've been working on it for many many moons now, and am pleased to share with you my success.
• I got my oil changed and my engine air filter replaced.
• I got my car washed.
• I drank a margarita with lunch and ate some veggie enchiladas (YUMM-O) at one of my favorite restaurants.
• I read almost 100 pages of The Art of Racing in the Rain, which Katie loaned me forever ago and which I am totally in need of reading right now.
• I remembered to feed my friend's cat and in so doing enjoyed about 5 minutes of stranger-cat-love until he rolled back into his “I'm King Cat” pose and promptly scratched the hell out of my hand. (Nice. Thanks.)
• I watched 2 AMAZING films that I have had from Netflix for over a month. Pinky, which I've been wanting to see since forever, and Gentlemen's Agreement, which I've also been wanting to see for forever. Both of them are super radical films for their time, I think. Pinky deals with a woman who was passing as white, and Gentlemen's Agreement was about a guy (THANK YOU Gregory Peck! Hats off to you and your awesomeness) who writes an article about anti-semitism and pretends to be Jewish while doing so. Both of them were so awesome. I didn't really like the ending of Gentlemen's Agreement, most likely since Gregory Peck did not wind up with me in the end, but I thought that overall both were excellent. Of course, both were directed by Elia Kazan, so obviously. I LOVE HIM.

Now, if you know me, you are probably thinking to yourself, “Hmm, this sounds like more than Charity ever gets done on a Friday afternoon or any afternoon or any entire weekend, for that matter,” and you would be making a very astute observation. In fact, I don't. And I realized it's because my life is so $#%!@#!@#ing STRUCTURED right now, that I literally have no time to just relaaaaaaaaaax. Hence, Relaxation Weekends/Weeknights o' Ten!!! And it was amazing. The minute I was like, “@#$ it, this week is dead to me. IT'S THE WEEKEND, BABY!!!!” I became extremely efficient and productive. I mean, I left out the parts where I went to the liquor store for beer, made dinner, and got caught up on reading my friends' blogs!!!

This has been very interesting. This productive relaxation thing. In therapy this week we kind of talking about it a little. How, before I was so depressed thinking that no one would even notice if I died in my sleep since my human contact was so sporadic, to knowing that if I died in my sleep people would notice because a great number of them would probably be pissed off at me for missing something “important.”

It's all about balance, my therapist said. That's why she gets paid the big bucks, I guess. Not from me, obviously. But from someone.

I'm going to go watch Seven Samurai. Or take a bath. Or vaccuum. Or go straight to bed. The beauty is that I don't even know what I'm going to do next!

This is looking good.

well, well, well.

It was nice to visit with Richard when I was home last weekend. He seems to be doing well, lately, and really enjoyed driving my mom's new (used) Avalon since she was in Egypt. (And I enjoyed sleeping in her comfy bed! Although sharing a queen bed with several stacks of devotional and Sudoku books still doesn't leave much room to stretch out... I miss you Mom!)


There's a new addition: Pumpkin-Jack. Too bad Richard is "not a cat person."


(Can you tell?)


Yoda did not seem happy about not being the kitten-baby anymore. However, he did better than Tubby, who wouldn't even come near the house, and instead tried to get me to let her into the neighbor's house. She sat next to her screen door, meowing and looking plaintively at me. Crazy lunatic.

I had a nice weekend. I visited with Richard obviously, but also a little with Isaac, and I spent Saturday night with Sarah and Daddy. Daddy and I watched 300, which kept making me laugh. I remembered that hilarious review I read about it. I posted a link to it on my blog I think. But anyway, it was so funny. And we got to see it in Hi-Def, which really brought out the six-packs and quadriceps of the good guys (sex-non-neutral language used intentionally). It also brought out the grossness of the bad people and monsters and gushing spurting blood, so there was also that. Good times.

Anyway, since then, I've finished my new favorite book: "The Late-Bloomer's Revolution" by Amy Cohen. I wrote a review of it on GoodReads in case you're on there. I've also finished 2 of the Harry Potter books of the 7 I'm re-reading. I have lost a bit of the steam, though, and might wait to read the rest. I was really inspired by Cohen's book to find another great new book to read. Sometimes life seems too short to re-read Harry Potter books. So if you have any good recommendations, I'd love to hear them. I'd like to read Slam by Nick Hornby. That will be good I think. And undoubtedly a quick read. Anyway, I'll let you know what I decide.

I hope you're all doing well. We moved from drought to cold dry winter and my skin is killing me. I'm going through lotion like it's going out of style, and to no avail. Remember the days when Atlanta was humid? I'm going to have to crank out my humidifier again, I guess.

Oh, and I got on Facebook. How silly!

Charity :)

Before heading home, I was lucky enough to catch a quick glimpse of this beautiful car! As far as I can tell it's a 1949 Coronet, and very shiny and pretty. I have a weakness, I know.