babies, kids, and music

i leave the television on while i work sometimes (i don't know why, since the only thing this does for me is to distract me with irritating commercials). anyway, my attention was diverted a moment ago by the most awful sound ever. it was a commercial for:



kid's country power! all these kids, screaming country songs, the child voiceover squealing, "finally, it's our turn to sing" as if before someone was screaming, "NO, CHILDREN. IT'S NOT YOUR TURN TO SING YET!!"

wait, wait. i love kids, and i love music. and i will even put up with kids music. but i have to draw the line at letting them have my music ("them" being record companies trying to profit off parents who buy their kids everything they want? who is the market for this product after all? children of baby boomers having their own children, i guess; the most consumption-driven generation on record). not when they're going to turn it into something barely recognizable, but just painfully recognizable enough... i mean, look at this:



argh! and it's not just punk and country music that has been maliciously (or at the very least misguidedly) turned into lullaby format: the website nippaz with attitude sells all sorts of butchered music: hip-hop, dance music, 80s music...

they sell this music because supposedly "we" the parents will hate it less than baby lullaby music, but babies are ok with classical, generally; why not just listen to that with your baby? i'm all for putting infants in AC/DC onesies if you're a fan but would you really prefer to hear 2pac's "I Ain't Mad Atcha" played on vibraphone than Brahms' lullaby? what is the matter with you people?

and then when they grow up a little bit, and they start picking out their own music and forming their own taste, and if my kids want to listen to country music, can't they just listen to country music? or am i really expected to grit my teeth and attempt to not go insane listening to a recording of a group of kids singing "I Like It, I Love It" in the style of Tim McGraw?

i'm so glad i don't have to worry about this for now. although it's also nice to know exactly how i'm going to respond when my kids start whining for those albums. i'm just going to put in my Urban Chipmunk tape and say "kids, this is what adult music for kids is supposed to sound like. you find me something this good, and i'll buy it for you. if you just want to sing your favorite country songs, go hook up the karaoke machine."



charity :)