Michelle was here this weekend for a conference and we got to hang out Saturday. We wanted to do something where we could talk all day, so we decided to go to the mall.

Michelle and I arrived at the mall only to be assaulted by the sight of the "pink pig" which comes out every christmas to brainwash the kids into buying more stuff than they need and can possibly use with money their parents are looking for ways to throw away, apparently. Again, it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Shouldn't this a time to be thankful for what we already have? No? It's a time for buying countless stuffed pigs that look like they are possessed by demons? Oh, ok, my bad.
Of course you also realize this means the mall was FULL of kids. The more time I spend around large numbers of children, the more convinced I become that I don't want them. Not because I don't like kids, but because their parents all seem to become possessed by spirits that force them to buy incredibly expensive strollers and toys and candies at every turn; they blindly allow their children to run around the mall eating chicken fingers and yelling at strangers, and for some reason still expect all of us single childless people to be jealous of them. I can't understand it. I just know that I don't want to join their numbers. Sure, some people might say "Oh, but I would never be like that!" But what if you can't control it? Yikes.

Anyway, here's me in front of the pig. This is why I will never be a model. The camera comes out and I begin to look like a goblin. Who can explain it? Ah, well. I blame the pig.

Michelle, on the other hand, is incredible photogenic. And beautiful.

The young woman in the store came up to me while still folding sweaters and said, "Excuse me, but you are NOT allowed to take pictures of the mannequins." I guess this must be a common problem for them. I thought she was going to confiscate my camera. Lucky me and you she didn't try, I guess. No wait, I mean lucky THAT BITCH.

Welcome to my nightmare! Thanks for stopping by! Leave your sanity at the door! You won't need it where you're going!
Be good! (Or beware the wrath of the pig! I'm just saying!)
Charity :)
Old picture of me and Michelle (December 2004).
Another old picture of me and Michelle (December 2004).
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