One of the saddest moments of 2010:
There was a woman at the improv show last night who was pretty hard to miss. Looking at her, she could have gone a couple of ways: a total stuck-up bitch, or, as Chip lovingly calls them, a "10-drink Sally." She was wearing a short navy blue silk jumper with very tall open-toe beige canvas heels, and she had big blue eyes and long, carefully straightened blond hair. She was very thin and fit, and was sporting a healthy (dose of) tan, too. I hate to say this, but she stood out to me because she seemed pretty typical of the pretty, doll-like women the lawyers and ad men bring to the shows. That sounds awful of me, I know, but I'm just being honest. I need to for the rest of the story to convey the bittersweetness of the punchline.
So after the show, I have to visit the ladies' room and who do I find myself behind but the lovely lady to whom I have dedicated this email. At that moment, I noticed that her teeth were so white they were almost blue. As I had only hours before noted the drastic yellowness that has overtaken my teeth since my last dentist's visit, I was taken aback and remarked to her that her teeth were beautifully white. She shared the secret with me and I lamented the fact that my sensitive teeth made home whitening kits impractical at best, and shockingly excruciating at worst. She told me her secret (only doing it occasionally, rather than every day), and remarked that she also did not drink coffee or red wine.
"Oh no," I said. "I definitely drink both of those!!" I laughed, probably a little loudly since I'd been drinking and watching improv for the last few hours.
"Well, at least you're happy..." she replied. I smiled and she turned away to go into the newly available stall.
I haven't been able to forget that.
Haiku for pretty lady
My beauty distracts
From the painful secret truth.
My soul longs for love.
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