Projects

This blog has become less fun. First of all, no one reads it. Second of all, there is one person who reads it and insists on posting creepy comments that I have had to filter out now, which is a pain, and which given the low readership, is even MORE annoying. Third, I'm feeling very scattered lately. I'm never home. Literally, I'm at rehearsal of some kind at least three nights a week, and on the others, I'm sometimes volunteering at one, performing at one, and/or attending a friend's show at one. It makes for absolutely no time. Plus, I have to watch LOST and Real Housewives of NYC on two others. As you can see, that adds up to more than 7 days, meaning I'm usually double booked. It's literally wearing me down.

Plus, my dissertation advisor was in a bicycle accident, so he can't hood me in the graduation ceremony. I know I'm being selfish, but I really wanted him there. He's been such an amazing advisor. Even though he's so central to the department, and even though I've long felt alienated from it, he's always reached out to me and he's always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself (which was approximately 92% of the time). In the past 10 years, I've grown immensely and he's been so important to that. I honestly consider him like a third father. So yeah, I was disappointed. And also, worried!

So I'm tired. I'm going through my journals because I've been cataloging my improv and acting journals and recently came across one from college. Wow, I really have grown up. I usually feel like a kid who doesn't know what's going on and doesn't have any control over my life, but I realize now that not only do I really have that power, but I really DO feel in control most of the time. I'd love to get the writings from my journals all consolidated. My grandmother was trying to write her memoirs before she died, I remember. I really wish she would have. She had an amazing life. I don't fancy my life as amazing, but I do think that it would be nice to read it myself someday, even if I don't have kids. And I recently read the memoirs of my paternal great-great aunt, which didn't mention any of my direct kin, but found it fascinating. Of course, I'm not from a holler in southeastern Virginia, but I think North Carolina is pretty good, too.

And honestly, when I log on to Blogger I usually have to read about 8 blog entries from my friends, so by the time I finish that I basically want to log off and I basically have to anyway, since that takes me about an hour.

So it is what it is. I may remove this blog, actually, and add it to my stack of journals. But I'll probably just leave it up and post random videos and photos and things. Anyway, I won't be investing much time in it anymore, I reckon. But thanks for whatever.

xo,
Charity

DENTIST DAY!!!

On the agenda for today: 1 new filling, 4 replacement fillings (white for silver; drilling still required, unfortunately), and 2 sealants. Yikes. The dentist informed me it would only take an hour, but I thought about it and now am terrified rather than relieved, because I realize she means 60 minutes of drilling around and giving shots while my weary jaw remains propped open with some kind of metal/plastic contraption. Mon dieu.

Yikes.

I'm going to the dentist today.

Relaxation Weeknight o-10!

Oh yeah, and I forgot it's Relaxation Weeknight o-10!! No wonder I feel amazing!! :-)

Ready? O! K!

I feel oodles better. Probably for several reasons.

1) Sunday night we had an improv gig at an Oscar Party! Several of us gathered in a tiny corral blocked off by red velvet rope, flashing filmless cameras and asking the arriving black tie attendees who they were wearing and if we could have their autographs. Quite possibly the funnest improv gig yet. It was so rewarding, too, because the people LOVED IT. Very satisfying for all involved. Plus, it was at Pricci, which I LOVE and where Sanks took me on our first big date after he got back from India and we decided to give it another try.

2) Which brings me to my second point. Namely, Sanks! He makes me feel better. (I'm turning into a sap. PLEASE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!) The one year anniversary of our first date is coming up this month. It's hard to believe. Of course, we were apart for several months, but I don't care about the technicalities. I'm just so thankful that he's in my life. It feels good to get that out of my system. Thanks for listening. :-)

3) Since Sanks lives in NC most of the time I didn't get to see him last weekend. Sad, yes, but the lack of ANY obligations was quite enjoyable for me, as I spent ALL DAY Saturday in bed. I know people say that, and what they mean is that they woke up late morning, stayed in their pajamas, maybe even ate cereal in bed or something, curled up on the couch and watched TV, went to the bathroom - you know, the usual. Well I LITERALLY slept until 5 pm. I could have stayed in bed, too, but I didn't feel comfortable sleeping THROUGH Saturday and into Sunday. It just didn't seem right. So I woke up and went to eat at La Fonda with my girlfriend Katie. Then we hung out at Borders for probably an hour (I LOVE that about her - that she can stay as long as me and be perfectly content!). Then I went home and crawled back into bed. Sunday I awoke feeling refreshed - FINALLY - and went to church! It was great. I haven't been in way too long, and I really do love my church.

4) Katie and I work out together, and since I've been sick I haven't felt up to it. However, after my doozie of a sleep fest this weekend, I finally had the energy to pick it back up again! It's been so nice going to work out with Katie the past two nights.

5) Tomorrow I have to work at Whole World, which I wasn't expecting. I don't mind, though, because since I missed rehearsal last week I've been feeling quite deprived. Also, rehearsal was cancelled for this week, since there is a private show Thursdays (Mainstage Cast does the private shows, so the Apprentice Cast doesn't perform unfortunately). So I'm glad I get to go down there and make sure it's all under control. :-)

6) I'm all ready for the next time I perform, though. I got my hair cut today!! It looks pretty much the same, which is kind of disappointing, except for the fact that it looks the same because it's a great haircut... I also bought a new hair dryer and flat iron because I was feeling like a little girl that needed a new toy or two. Plus they were on sale (although I really shouldn't have - really).

7) Which brings me to my next point. No, not security (Oh come on, haven't you seen Waiting for Guffman???!). Student loans. Yuck. I finally made my move though. I called those little buggers and told them that they better process my income sensitive repayment plan changes and quick, because like I've been telling them for the past three months "I CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY $900 A MONTH ON THESE BAD BOYS." I think I MAY have gotten them to understand this time (fingers crossed, prayers said).

8) Since I was doing that adult stuff today, I went ahead and made a doctor's appointment and a dentist's appointment. I know, it sounds pretty mundane, but this is a HUGE step for me. I've been putting it off since I graduated, since I have ALWAYS gone to University Health Services, either at Emory or UNCA. Big step. Well, the dentist is different, but I have to switch dentists, too, since they changed my insurance, so this is new, too! How exciting!

9) Life is not all work though. This weekend (meaning Sunday afternoon), I called some friends of mine to catch up. Yay! I spoke with the Elliotts via Skype for the first time. They've been trying to get me on there for some time. It was awesome. Like, are they *IN* the computer?! (Please don't tell me you haven't seen Zoolander either...)

So until the next time, peace and blessings to all of you. Please, if you are so inclined, keep my friend Drew and my boss Nan and her family in your prayers. Nan's daughter is very sick an she and her husband took a much-needed trip to MADRID (my favorite place in the universe) this week. It was already scheduled and they felt very hesitant but I'm so glad they decided to go anyway. They need to recharge desperately. Also Drew is not feeling 100% and needs to do a little rebounding herself.

Love,
Charity :-)

Stuff and things.

I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

Three days at home on the couch... I tried to go to work today but my boss sent me home. Glegh.

Did I already say Glegh? Because Glegh.

Update: last week

My headshots DID come in time to be posted on the wall for my show last week, AND my show was actually fun AND good! Yay for life working out and being easy sometimes!!!

Survey says!

I am drinking a coke. Yes, caffeine, high fructose corn syrup, pure sugar calories. And you know what? It's delicious.

I weighed myself this morning and have lost five pounds since I started working out and watching what I eat. Yay! I swear I thought I was living in the twilight zone because nothing I did seemed to make a difference. Until today! Yesterday I did yoga when I got home from work, and then went to the gym and walked on a treadmill and climbed on the stairmaster. When I got home I made spaghetti and put some not-chicken nuggets on it. YUM!

When I came home, I watched LOST. Awesome. I think I'm going to end up buying the whole series someday. I just love it. I especially love this whole "no more questions; only answers" approach, because now as I'm watching I'm realizing that there were so many questions I had forgotten most of them! Thus, I want to go back and watch earlier episodes to catch up on the questions!

I have been stressed out as heck this week - for one reason after another, I really don't want to go into it right now - so Sanks suggested last night that this weekend become, officially, "Happy Happy Joy Joy Weekend o-10" (I actually came up with the title, but the ideas were mostly his). We're going go-karting, and video-arcading, and maybe even batting-caging! I have a lot of work to do, too, so while I'm doing that, he will go skeet shooting with his friends. I know he's excited because we'll be spending time with his friends, and he has been frustrated that he feels obligated to divide his time between me and them, rather than spending time with us together. I'm actually excited about it, too, since his friends are really fun! They just are usually doing stuff like travelling (which I can't afford), clubbing (which I hate and can't afford) or going to house parties (which I hate). So now he has stumbled upon something we all like!! Yay, Sanks!

I really love Tuesdays now. I have made it my official "Relaxation Weeknight o-10." I am always at the theatre Mondays and Wednesdays, frequently at the theatre on Thursdays, and sometimes on Friday and/or Saturdays. So yeah, I really love Tuesday nights.

Oh, and last night Ricky Gervais was on The Daily Show to talk about his new HBO show, The Ricky Gervais Show. I watched the first episode of the show and was soooooooooo excited. It's an animated version of the very fist podcast - the first episode of the first season - of his show with Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington.

Hilarious! (Image from the HBO website)

And yes, the title of this blog IS meaningless.
Charity

My next project?

So, I'm trying to decide whether and where and when to take acting classes. It is something I would very much like to do, so I guess "whether" isn't really part of the question, but the others are serious questions needing serious answers.

Also, I watched Wink and a Smile yesterday, and now I want to take Burlesque lessons, too. I honestly feel like someday I will finally have learned most of what I want to learn, performance-wise. I'm excited to be in the "performance" mode now. I missed being on stage and am totally enjoying it. Maybe I WILL take belly dancing lessons someday!!

Here's the video I want:



Awesome! I think I need more make-up though.

Attitude adjustment.

Ok, so I MAY have an attitude problem today. That MAY have been lingering since Monday.

It's not good, because I have a show tonight. I need to get my head in the game, and quit, um, having my head not in the game.

It's just, I had a terrible experience with improv Monday night, which I catalogued in my Improv Blog, and then last night I worked with some folks on a game I struggle with: Repeat Scene. These two things did not really combine to make me feel that "I can DO this!!" feeling that I normally have about improv. So now, I'm not so much nervous as anxious about tonight.

And also, my head shots won't come in the mail until tomorrow.

Blegh.

(See how I need to get out of this funk?!?!)

Trying to get happy!

For Kimberly.

Unmentionable

I am depressed. Actually, not really depressed so much as filled with seething, inexplicable rage.

I don't know why. This is one of those days where I wished there was an "Answer Key" to my life and I could consult it, find out what my deal is, and fix that poo. Unfortunately there is not one. So here I am, looking and feeling and acting like a crazy person, with my eye twitching and my legs both bouncing up and down, shaking my head back and forth. Grrrr...

I have some ideas about why I'm feeling this way, actually. I'll deal with it in a few hours, but in the meantime I need my ridiculous anger to get me to work a few hours out of spite, grimacing and growling all the way.

I'll fill you in later. I PROMISE.

Waiting for Baxter at a bar in Union Square

At the Tim Burton special MoMA exhibit.

Something not at all awesome.

I will have $6.00 in my bank account when my outstanding bills are paid. FOR THE MONTH.

Luckily my medicine is paid for through my FSA, or I'd be very very depressed here in a little bit.

I need to wait to write more. I'm still pretty much in shock.

Sigh.

UPDATE: I realized that is how much I will have in my account IF I buy the awesome pair of boots I found on Zappos.com. Hmm... Well, $6.00 is still SOME money, so I can afford them, right?

Wha....!?!

I just noticed that in all of 2009 I only had 17 posts. Hilarious. Not my most fertile year.

Yargh.

Good news: I started taking my medicine and feel much better. Bad news: my friends don't feel better and my boss is stuck in DC with her sick daughter. I want to work out but I want to stay home with the cats. I'm confused and I miss my sweet BF, since we were having a very tense time until the day before he left to go back to NC for two weeks.

MEH!

Bad news: I'm still at work. Good news: LOST is on tonight and I have some great photos to post of my awesome trip last weekend. Oh, and this week it's SHOWTIME!!

Charity :-)

Warning: entering therapy step-down!

Not the best time of my life to forget to take my medicine, I'll admit. Unfortunately I find myself in this situation, while preparing to go on a whirlwind trip to NYC with my boyfriend right before Valentine's Day, my least favorite holiday, and a few months before the one-year mark, historically my least favorite anniversary. In fact, I've never even been in a relationship that long. Ever. Oh, and I'm not sleeping enough, I'm falling behind at work, and I'm on my period. Awesome.

So basically, what better time to begin distancing myself from therapy and forgetting to take my medicines?! Looks like someone might be trying to self-sabotage again...

I need to go update my zombie blog I think. It's much less depressing.

Hello?!?

OMG, how could I forget?

It's freaking GROUNDHOG DAY!!!

Unfortunately, Punxsutawney Phil DID see his shadow again, so 6 more weeks of winter. But at least one of my favorite movies is on Bravo: GROUNDHOG DAY! Sweet.

Charity :-)

PS-Don't forget your booties 'coz it's COLD OUT THERE!

Egggggcellent.

I don't really have anything eggcellent to say, although Sanks and I went to Flying Biscuit this weekend and I got some sort of Eggcellent something or other. Anyway, it was gross. I keep thinking I like eggs, since I like eggs, but in fact, I don't really like eggs. Yes, I'm confused about the whole "egg" thing, too.

I was supposed to go work out with Katie this evening. We have a regular Tuesday date to work out while watching the Biggest Loser. I've been quite enjoying it. However, I've been torn all day because what I really want to do is make a huge pot of chili, get some beer, guacamole, and tortilla chips, and watch LOST. This obviously conflicted in every way with my previous plans. However, due to unforeseen unfortunate work obligations of Katie's, she is unable to go to the gym, hence: PLAN B IT IS! No, not the failed birth control option. The literal plan B.

So I'm psyched. In keeping with my current psychodalia, I also caught up on my sweet friend's blog and realized that I have a new nickname: Double C. It might not sound like much, but I've always been flattered by nicknames. My inner child feels validated that someone likes me enough to give me a pet name. She feels special, so I feel special.

I need to go home now. I may post something a bit more meaningful later, but I probably won't. Today is too awesome for blog-writing. :-)

By the way, Sanks sent me a link to this hilarious "sitcom" made by guerrilla actors/filmmakers in California and I'm posting it so you can enjoy it, too. I could say awesome again, but I think it will actually go without saying after you watch it. It would probably be more appropriate to say "eggcellent" anyway, at this point.

Charity :)