Weekend Warriors!

Mom has been here visiting this weekend. We've had a good time; we watched the fireworks from a distance, thus avoiding the crowds (YAY), we went to see two movies (Knight and Day, Please Give), we ate at La Fonda, Fellini's, AND the Olive Bistro, and Sanks and I took Seussie for a walk in Piedmont Park, too. Mom and I went to Petsmarts, which was NOT smart, because mom spent $225! We had a great time, though, and Seussie had fun going shopping with us--there aren't any dog-friendly stores in Asheboro, apparently.

Anyway, we've had a great time. I haven't gotten quite as much crafting done as I'd like... to have... gotten done... However I'm supposed to say that. Anyway, it's been fun. I think I'm going to try to get my sewing machine threaded. That seems like a reasonable goal for the afternoon.

YIKES! I just remembered I have to go back to work tomorrow. :-(

OMG LOL!!

Can-do condo? Can-don't.

I saw this cute CUTE condo right beside my work and it would be so awesome if I lived there and was able to walk to work every day!

Then I did an online rent calculator that said if I invest the difference in what I'm paying in rent now, I'd be better off to rent for the next 30 years. Now, what the hell and I supposed to do with this information?! Silly hoo-hahs.

I just want to be able to get a dog and paint my living room and have a craft room. WHY CAN'T I HAVE IT?!?!

I'm still going to look into it.

I WON'T BE DISCOURAGED THAT EASILY!!!!

Charity :-)

Ouchie.

My sinuses are killing me! Geez Louise.

Question:

Am I ever going to be able to breathe again? I have come down with a terrible sinus infection, and currently my ribs are hurting because of all my nose-blowing. Terrific.

Yesterday Sanks and I watched the World Cup at Manuel's. I felt like I was in a foreign country. Who are these people and why are they cheering and yelling and groaning at once?! On the other hand, I had a really tasty beer: Terrapin Boom Shakalager. It was as yummy as it was creatively named. It's also 9% ABV so I really shouldn't have had more than one. After a 2 hour nap post game (did I mention 9% alcohol?) Sanks and I got pizza and a few videos.

By 10 pm I was ready for a nice long sleep, but that's when the runny nose and allergies turned serious. After an unexpectedly and irritatingly fitful sleep, I woke up feeling kinda yucky. I'm tired, I'm dehydrated, I can't breathe through my nose at all, my throat hurts from all my mouth-breathing, my sinuses are squeezing my brains into a tiny ball, I've eaten a bunch of unhealthy foods and drunk too much, and I have done approximately 1% of the tasks I intended to do here at home.

BUT!

I washed the dishes. So, there.

Question:

What if we are all reeally extras in a natural disaster movie?

No, seriously!

What if, tonight, while we sleep, a comet comes into view that the government has been trying to hide, in the desperate attempt, however misguided, to prevent chaos?

And what if, tomorrow, it's on all of the newsstands and televisions, and all of the internet home pages...

And what if we go into work, and everyone's walking around in a daze, like, "Seriously?" and then, around lunchtime, important or rich people fill the sky in helicopters, on their way to Siberia because it is supposed to be best off environmentally and will recover the quickest, because they have known for years enough to build a giant eco-dome where they alone will survive on the earth?

What if, around 4:30, people go outside in Washington DC and stand in the streets staring into the sky, because the comet has come into view directly over the White House, and network news stations all over the US are playing a loop of people standing around looking up at the sky...

And what if Obama, around dinnertime, gives a final motivational message from the Oval Office because he's too noble to go hide in the eco-dome with the Bushes..

And what if we are standing around in our living rooms drinking wine and kissing our babies, flipping between that and watching the comet approach the Statue of Liberty on the network news, because of course the comet is visible over both simultaneously, and then, all of a sudden, an attractive young woman in a suit comes in, and she gives Obama a piece of paper, and he smiles, and announces that the problem is solved, because 5 very brave astronauts just flew into space and set nuclear warheads off on the comet and unfortunately they are all dead, but look. Look! LOOK!

What if they then cut to a looped video of the comet blasting apart taken on someone's home camera because apparently they are saving it for posterity?

What would I change the day after that?

How would I want to spend my days?

How might I try to leave a better legacy? To be the one everyone looks back on with tears in their eyes?

Would anyone else care?

Would it issue in a new era of peace and acceptance?

And... why was that one guy videotaping it?

Ooooh, yeah.

I got them internets at home this morning. Sho nuff. So I'm going to be posting from home base from now on. Sweet. I'll holla atcha later.

Not sure what's going on with my speech patterns this morning. I blame the coffee.

Wah, wah, wah...

See, is that a baby crying or a slide guitar? Who knows? It's all a matter of perception. Just saying.

Rehearsal last night was... ok. I'll probably write more about it in my improv blog, but maybe not! Maybe I'll just stuff it down, deep inside, where all my other non-memorable, disappointing and deflating experiences go. Yay! Feels better that way. ;-)

I finished the embroidery last night while I finished watching the last episode of Firefly. I love that series. I got it on sale at Borders recently and I'm really glad I got it. It's a subtly good show -- just consistently good quality, not using flashy stupid things to get your adrenaline going, but with enough exciting scrapes to keep the show fast-paced. It's really good. My favorite episode is definitely "Out of Gas" but "Heart of Gold" is a close second. The latter was never even aired! I hate when networks give up on brilliant shows just because they hate me and are out to get me. Another one I want is Jericho, but that ended tragically (i.e. with a huge unanswered cliffhanger). Firefly ended reasonably well, although the movie Serenity did a good job on some story lines and on others SUCKED. Anyway, moving on...

So the little embroidery thingy-do is done, but now I have to make it into a pillow or something. I don't know about that. I want to start a sewing project, actually, but 1) I'm nervous, and 2) I can't decide on any fabrics! This is totally a good thing for me. I need practice making safe (relatively inconsequential) decisions. It will build up my confidence for when I have to make big (real) decisions.

So I'm going back to work. Today I get to design things (newsletter, brochure) so I'm excited about that! This is the part of my job that I really love.

Charity :-)

New developments!

Can there be old developments? Just curious.

I am excited to announce that I have ordered internets at my house! Yay! They will be here Friday. This will be great because I will finally be able to do all my internets stuff at home, and not have to sneak around work to do it. I will be able to focus on one thing at a time, which will be nice.

In the interest of focusing, then, I'm focused on going home right now. I'm sorry that this entry is so lame, but that's how it has to be.

I started another embroidery project last night. Still having the same commitment issues with it, though. I don't want to start something because I might start hating it halfway through. This is a good exercise for me, I think.

Rehearsal at nine tonight. I'm already sleepy. That's a bad sign.

Collections

Well, I got my first letter from a Collection Agency today. I have officially joined the ranks of the debt-ridden and down-trodden, I guess. I feel so welcome.

Seriously, it's so funny because after almost an entire year (about 10 months) I had actually just finally paid it! Crazy. I wanted to call and be all irate, like "You sisterfuckers! I paid this LAST WEEK after I received your FIFTEENTH NOTICE. Do you really have to be such impatient jerkfaces? Or did you not even bother to get your shit together in time to let the Collection Agency know I already paid this shizzle?! Geez. Let me speak with your manager."

Tonight I'm not in the show (so sad) but I'm SO looking forward to staying at home with the cats, and perhaps even doing some CRAFTS! Hmm, but I guess I should be writing. Last night I wrote a joke. :-) I'm very proud of myself, actually. I'll try to write more tonight. I'm seriously considering the stand-up class. Who wants to give me $500? (Last time I asked for money, the universe provided it, so I thought I'd give it a chance.)

Oh! And also, I'm working lights this weekend at the theatre. All by myself!

I'm full of all kinds of new skills! Better than being chock full of nuts I guess. (The joke is a little better than that...)

xo,
Charity :-)

Hawaii Slideshow!

Enjoy!

ARE THOSE 1 MILLION PINEAPPLES?!

if this day were any longer i'd hit my head on it when i stood up.

i'd step on it when i walked up the stairs.

Back-ack-ack-ack!

I'm baaaaaack! We had too much of a good time, clearly. My job has been really difficult but I decided to take the rest of the week off from improv, too, which is good, since I'm exhausted after work, but wide awake by 2 am. My schedule is WAY off. It could also do with the fact that I finally started watching the Wire. See, the thing is, no one ever told me it has Dominic West in it! I would have been watching this shizzle from the get-gizzle!

I'm still working on posting photos. I uploaded them to my computer, but now I can't get my computer to go on them internets, so, you know -- speed bumps. I'll get to it eventually.

xoxox! Trying to keep the ALOHA SPIRIT alive!!

Charity :-)

Computer-schmuter

Sanks is going to work and taking his laptop. I'm not getting as much writing done as I'd hoped, since, you know, he has to take his laptop to work and when he's not at work we're doing something FUN! Anyway, I'm doing the best I can.


Aloha! Hugs!
Charity :-)

I will post more later.

I love Hawaii.

Sanks is in many ways ridiculous, and in many ways hilarious.

Beach...

Aloha!

Tomorrow Sanks and I leave at a ridiculously early hour to get to Honolulu!

I've not needed a break this bad since I-don't-know-when. Honestly, at this point I'm repeating every few minutes, "It's ok, Charity. I'll have an entire week without having to worry about this! I can do it! Just a few hours more..."

I did laundry today. I have cleaned my apartment for the most part. I rearranged my office area into a space MUCH more conducive to writing, which I'm hoping will encourage me more. I'm glad I was able to, because I was thinking I might "need" a new desk -- this arrangement is way more than satisfactory, though.

I still have bunches of work to do before I'm able to leave, though, so this can't be a terribly long post. I'm excited to say that I've bought a couple of books on writing, though, and I'm looking forward to trying this out. My first step is to get internets at my house full-time though. Yes, that will definitely be nice. And I think it's a justifiable expense, especially now that I don't get TV.

I know money isn't everything, but I sure wish I had enough money so that I didn't get stressed out about $50 a month. :-(

HAWAII!!!!

(See how much it helps?!?)

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh..

I was supposed to go to the theatre tonight. I was so excited about learning how to do lights. Then Sanks had come to town, so we were hanging out, and then I cooked dinner for him, and then he took FOREVER at Marshall's picking out swim trunks and towels so he was late to my house, and I was trying to rearrange my furniture because I'm leaving Sunday night (basically) and I don't want my neighbor to wander through a nasty house to feed my cats and also I don't want to leave my cats in a disaster area...

So I forgot to go.

[Sigh]

What does it all mean?

I love performing, but I am continuing to feel not-ok about this whole nonsense. I mean, did I just forget? Or do I want to quit? The decision is really difficult since I love performing but the main people either hate me or are disinterested, and this flaking out is NOT going to help my image at the theatre. And how can I improve if I'm constantly fighting even to be noticed? I feel like they're not on my side anymore. I REALLY need this vacation to Hawaii. Maybe I'll just stay there. Wow. That is tempting, I must admit.

Fresh and Clean

I'm thinking of getting calling cards!! How fun!

I like these the best. Etsy is super.

I need to straighten my desk at work. I've been trying to clean up my life a little. The kitchen is fabulous, and I've managed to keep it CLEAN for 4 days now, I'm happy to say. The bathroom has been mostly clean this whole time (it's just SO TINY that it gets cluttered). However, the bedroom and living room of my apartment are a real challenge. Mostly because everything that doesn't fit into the kitchen, bathroom, and living room is stacked up in the bedroom, and because I haven't been able to put together my new bookshelf yet so all the stuff that needs to be ON the bookshelf in the living room is stacked up on the floor and on my desk. And on my couch. And since I need the room for making the bookshelf, everything from the middle of the room is stacked around my desk as well. Yeah, a huge mess.

Plus, poor cats. I'll be leaving for HAWAII and I'm so flustered right now that I haven't even asked anyone to cat sit. I HATE asking people for things. I always feel self-conscious (why would they do anything for ME?) and embarrassed (they're just doing this because I asked and they can't think of a way to get out of it). I know, not very productive thinking. Oh well.

I guess I'll go clean my desk now. I need to get my office organized since I'll be gone all next week. TO HAWAII. :-)

[Sigh of relief] This is going to be awesome.

Ok, let me not be lazy.

Today has been ok. I've been off all day. It's strange. It's like, skeptical? or hesitant? or confused? It's hard to describe. Not cynical or bitter, not angry or sad... Uncertainty I think. Hmm.

I have these ideas for my blog, but I don't know what to do with them. I'd like to spend more time on my blog. Wow, just thinking about doing that full-time is SUPER exciting! I'm not sure how I could make THAT work, though. Nikki is trying to get me to do more with my writing, and I totally agree that it is a great idea. I bought a book called "The Portable MFA in Creative Writing" and in what I read, they basically said, like Nikki, that unless you're David Sedaris, no one is going to buy a book of personal essays, which is really my preferred medium. Back to the drawing board! The book also suggested that having a popular blog, or stories published in magazines, will also up your chances of getting a foot in the publisher's door. So now I just need to figure out how to get my foot into magazine publishers' doors, I guess...

It's scary to think about all this. I keep hearing that little voice in the back of my head saying "You're crazy if you think you are good enough at writing to get people to read your stuff. And who cares about your personal stories?" But I'm like, um, a few people that I know of. What's the harm in thinking there might be more?

Here's my thinking. If Augusten Burroughs can get "Running With Scissors" which I HATED published, surely I can get a little SOMETHING published! Yikes. Scary. But my recent favorite quote is:

Great love and great achievements require great risk. -Anonymous

So yeah, better get on that shizz. And at worst, I have an excuse not to go to the gym tonight! Oh wait... That's not good.

The good is that LOST is finally over. It's like my heroin. I hated having to watch it but I LOVED IT SO MUCH. Like anything on Bravo. Luckily my cable cut off so I couldn't watch my crack. And now that there's no more heroin, I might finally be able to detox from TV. Leaving me at least one FULL night to write. Must. Take. Advantage. Of. Opportunity...