Wednesday, August 09, 2017

AFI Top 100: Goodfellas (#92 in 2007; #94 in 1998)


Goodfellas was a movie that I had seen long ago and rewatched. As I remembered, it's super good but it's really violent. This movie came out in 1990, four years before Pulp Fiction (and two years before Reservoir Dogs). It made me realize that it's difficult for me to imagine a cinematic world before Quentin Tarantino. Movies now are more violent (no more bright red

I actually read they cut out some of the bloody shots from one of the post-Lufthansa murders, which is hard to imagine when I watched the scene. It's hard to imagine more blood, and how much blood does one scene need anyway? And also, was that really a lot of blood? Who can even tell anymore? #thanksquentin


Roger Ebert pointed out in his original review of the film is that Goodfellas is largely about guilt. However, it is more complex than typical films about guilt "in which good is established and guilt is the appropriate reaction toward evil. No, the hero of this film feels guilty for not upholding the Mafia code - guilty of the sin of betrayal. And his punishment is banishment, into the witness protection program, where nobody has a name and the headwaiter certainly doesn't know it." In fact, "the real guilt, the guilt a Catholic like Scorsese understands intimately - is not that they did sinful things, but that they want to do them again" (source).

In a later review, Ebert explains the way that Scorsese uses the tools in his filmmaking tool chest to allow us to see from Henry Hill's perspective why the "Goodfella" life was so appealing and the break from it so difficult.

Three groundbreaking minutes of film.
In the most famous shot in the movie, [Henry] takes his future wife [Karen] to the Copacabana nightclub. There’s a line in front, but he escorts her across the street, down stairs and service corridors, through the kitchen area, and out into the showroom just as their table is being placed right in front of the stage. This unbroken shot, which lasts 184 seconds, is not simply a cameraman’s stunt, but an inspired way to show how the whole world seems to unfold effortlessly before young Henry Hill.

At first the mob seems like an opening-up of his life, but later, after he starts selling drugs, there is a claustrophobic closing-in. The camera style in the earlier scenes celebrates his power and influence with expansive ease. At the end, in a frantic sequence concentrated in a single day, the style becomes hurried and choppy as he races frantically around the neighborhood on family and criminal missions while a helicopter always seems to hover overhead.
...

A very different 3 minutes of film for a very different point in this goodfella's life.
It is an indictment of organized crime, but it doesn't stand outside in a superior moralistic position. It explains crime’s appeal for a hungry young man who has learned from childhood beatings not to hate power, but to envy it. When Henry Hill talks to us at the opening of the film, he sounds like a kid in love: “To me, it meant being somebody in a neighborhood that was full of nobodies. They weren't like anybody else. I mean, they did whatever they wanted. They double-parked in front of a hydrant and nobody ever gave them a ticket. In the summer when they played cards all night, nobody ever called the cops.”
The thing that concerns me about this and films like Pulp Fiction is the way they celebrate a zero-sum version of masculinity, and one that is relatively celebratory of violence.


Even when revealing the unfortunate brutality of the lifestyle, the violence is made to seem like, at best an unfortunate way to get what a man wants or is owed, and at worst a way to bond with fellow men and prove oneself worthy of respect.

Unfortunately I have to kill you because you owe me money.
See how it tears me up inside? 

See how we're bonding now that you picked a side and it was our side?

It alarms me that young men seem drawn to this version of masculinity, which is, ironically, a very weak and fragile masculinity, dependent as it is on the subjugation of others rather than the lifting up of oneself.

Nevertheless, this is part of the definition of masculinity inspiring and teaching our young men, and training and desensitising our young women.

Example one: GoodBros

The worst part is that apparently many of them won't grow out of it. What would our future look like with men like this in charge? Oh actually I know this one:


Example two: GoodPres

AFI Top 100: The French Connection (#93 in 2007; #70 in 1998)


This was another film that I hadn't yet seen, which I really enjoyed. Apparently lots of people really enjoyed it when it came out, too (1971); it won Best Picture, Best Actor (Gene Hackman), Best Director, Best Film Editing, and Best Adapted Screenplay.

It was also nominated for Best Supporting Actor (Roy Scheider, who was awesome but lost to Ben Johnson in the Last Picture Show), Best Cinematography (French Connection and Last Picture Show lost to Fiddler on the Roof, so that must have been fantastic), and Best Sound Mixing (lost to Fiddler on the Roof again - I guess I'll add it to my list).

So about the French Connection. One thing I'm curious about is why it dropped from #70 to #93 on the list. I could make a guess but it would certainly be wrong. I wish they published a "Reasons Why" essay for these films, but I couldn't find one. As a teacher who had to objectively-subjectively grade large numbers of essays at one time, I could again make a guess, but again, it might be wrong. (I would feel more confident about the reasoning though but I'm still going to hold off on including it.) Moving on, though:


The first term that comes to mind about this film is "fast-paced" and the fast pacing starts at the very beginning, with some very dramatic music played over a minimal number of title cards racing onto a black screen and then off again.


After the title cards, the film opens with us being dropped off in Marseilles, in a very disorienting sequence that introduces us to the actual French Connection, the head of a French syndicate (and his Lincoln Continental). After we see the French detective following him being murdered, we are brought to Brooklyn, where Santa Claus and a street vendor chase down and violently apprehend a bartender involved in a heroin deal.


The entire film is fast-paced, with many of the scenes taking place in moving cars or while walking, windshield wipers and cars moving in background. The cinematography also contributes to this kinetic energy, often switching from close ups to crowd shots. This really makes the scenes of stillness eerie and dramatic.


The film is known for its frenetic car chase scene, and as others have pointed out, the entire film plays like one long chase scene. Someone is always following someone on foot or vehicle (car, train, etc) or at the very least tracking someone down or staking someone out. Several scenes end with a cut to someone watching, which really heightens the tension; I always expected someone to be watching or something coming, even in scenes of stillness and apparent calm (there weren't many of those though).


The detectives who were actually on the case were also actually on set much of the time, and able to give feedback when appropriate. (One of them, Eddie Egan, played their boss in the film!) In the director's commentary, William Friedkin explains that the film is an "impression" of the case that inspired it, in that the facts of the case were not as important as the feelings or sense of the case. The feeling is what the detectives on set were helping recreate, although many facts of the case were changed (such as the number of agencies involved). This was an especially interesting choice because he had experience with documentary filmmaking and copied that style with handheld cameras, real settings, and natural lighting. 


He was inspired by the "documentary realness" of French New Wave cinema, mentioning Godard's Breathless and Costa-Gravas' Z specifically. I saw Breathless years ago during my French New Wave phase. It wasn't my favorite - Alphaville made more of an impression at the time - but I loved it.


I guess I have to add Z to my list of films as well. I'm starting to think I won't finish by my birthday.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Playlist! YEAR 9: 1986

My parents got remarried this year! To different people obv. But still, a big deal. This photo is from my mom and stepdad's wedding. I'm in the blue dress below:


They got married at the place where Richard lived at the time - a house out in the country with a lake on the property, where we used to go swimming. I have random memories of 1) watching a documentary about manta rays and 2) listening to The Chipmunks sing Witch Doctor. This is where I first got to know my stepsister Angel (in pink) and my stepbrother Eric (not pictured). Good times. Followed shortly by 1987, which was memorable for a different reason.

Anyway, I'm not including the Chipmunks in the playlist, which I'm sure you'll be glad to see, but I am including it here, and dedicating it to my mom and stepdad, who this year celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary. :-)



Link / Year 9: 1986*

Track Listing:


I Know What I Know - Paul Simon
Venus - Bananarama
La Isla Bonita - Madonna
Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
Your Love - The Outfield
True Colors - Cyndi Lauper
Take My Breath Away - Berlin
Control - Janet Jackson
Wanted Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi
I Can't Wait - Nu Shooz
Who's Johnny - El DeBarge
Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House
These Dreams - Heart
Glory of Love - Peter Cetera
Tonight She Comes - The Cars
If You Leave - OMD
Your Wildest Dreams - The Moody Blues
Life in a Northern Town - The Dream Academy
Alone Again Or - The Damned
Girls - Beastie Boys
Conga - Miami Sound Machine
Kiss - Prince & The Revolution
The Divided Sky - Phish
Eric B. Is President - Eric B. & Rakim


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Playlist! YEAR 8: 1985

Enjoy!

[These playlists are very much subject to change, by the way.]

Link / Year 8: 1985*

Track Listing:


All Through the Night - Cyndi Lauper
And She Was - Talking Heads
Voices Carry - 'Til Tuesday
Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner
You're the Inspiration - Chicago
Raspberry Beret - Prince & The Revolution
Axel F - Harold Faltermeyer
Take the Skinheads Bowling - Camper Van Beethoven
Don't Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Things Can Only Get Better - Howard Jones
Take On Me - a-ha
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams
Forever Young - Alphaville
I'm Sticking With  You - The Velvet Underground
I'm a Man You Don't Meet Every Day - The Pogues
I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen
One More Night - Phil Collins
What About Love? - Heart
We Belong - Pat Benatar
All She Wants to Do Is Dance - Don Henley
Money for Nothing - Dire Straits
Material Girl - Madonna
How Will I Know - Whitney Houston
Fat Boys Are Back - Fat Boys


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

AFI Top 100: Pulp Fiction (#94 in 2007; #95 in 1998)


This movie is really good of course. Aside from giving me some really good music for my senior year of high school, the movie was groundbreaking and saved John Travolta (and Bruce Willis) from a downward spiral of Look Who's Talking movies.


What more can I say about Pulp Fiction that hasn't been said by Wikipedia? Nothing really. I did find this video that puts the many plots in chronological order, which was fun:


I'm going to leave this entry at that. I enjoyed watching the film again, and now I want to move on to watching The French Connection! I'm going to SF on Friday, and I'd really like to get one more movie down before I go. 


Tuesday, July 11, 2017

AFI Top 100: Blade Runner (#97 in 2007; not listed in 1998)


First things first: I'm having a hard time believing that this film wasn't even listed in 1998. What the hell. I'm also having a hard time believing that the film was set in - well, you know:


Ok now that I've gotten that out of the way....

From the start, Blade Runner really captures a mood: the cinematography and soundtrack give performances almost as powerful as the actors. The blu-ray version of the Final Cut of the film is just breathtaking. Totally my favorite [by the way, Warner Brothers is releasing a 4K version of the film in September, ahead of the release of Blade Runner 2049].


So why was it included other than being awesome? I don't know. The awesomeness of this movie is such that no other reasons are necessary if you ask me. But I'll make some guesses.

1) The emphasis on philosophical questions about humanity, like: Can robots have empathy? At what point does AI become "enslaved"? As technology increasingly becomes part of our lives, these questions are coming forward even more. I, for one, have to stop myself from correcting people who don't say please or thank you to Siri or Alexa.

So what would/could make AI "human"? On the flip side of that is the question of what makes a person human. Questions like these were to be raised years later in the epic film The Big Lebowski (Coen, Coen, 1998):
The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Huh?
The Dude: Uhh... I don't know sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

2) The successful use of film noir techniques (with the exception of the voiceover, which was notoriously unsuccessful) like chiaroscuro cinematography to create a truly immersive (and eerie) science fiction world:

above: Blade Runner (Scott, 1982)

above: Double Indemnity (Wilder, 1944)

3) The huge cult following it developed, and its influence on cultural objects, often directly stated by producers. For instance, in 2008 Ronald D. Moore and David Eick cited it as a major influence on the 2004 version of Battlestar Galactica, it has been listed by several organizations as the best science fiction movie of all times, the Visual Effects Society lists it as the second-most visually influential, and it has been one of the most musically sampled films (sources). It is also listed in the National Film Registry.

4) The extensive use of this movie in classes and academic writing - surely that must count for something. I mean, check it out: there are even "study guides" online (i.e. essay questions to cheat off of, not that I am holding a grudge from when students used to cheat in my classes or anything).


Blade Runner the film has definitely come to be a very influential cultural object. It was based on a book by Philip K. Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, first published all the way back in 1968 (at which time it was supposed to happen in 1992 LOL). I read the book a few years ago, but it was a bit confusing because it's VERY different from the movie.

Some of the differences are things that don't really matter to me in the long run - Mercerism, his wife, the poor little goat. However, there are things about the book that I wish had been in the film, like the explanation of why Sebastian's building was empty. On the other hand, there are really interesting things that are in the film that aren't in the book: the ambiguousness of Deckard's replicant-ness, for instance. Blade Runner just wouldn't be the same if we all knew one way or another whether he's a human or robot.

One final thing about the movie: it is supposed to take place in 2019. Obviously LA is not really on track to be there by 2019. 


I would say Dubai is getting pretty close, though:

Sunday, July 09, 2017

AFI Top 100: The Last Picture Show (#95 in 2007; not listed in 1998)


I enjoyed this movie, although I wish I hadn't watched the documentary about it. I really think the director is a piece of work, and not in a good way. He gives me the heebie-jeebies. Sorry, but I need to be honest with you.

Anyway, there are a few reasons I think this film was included in the AFI list (the second time):

1) critics say the performances were really amazing - four of the actors were nominated for Academy Awards, and Ben Johnson and Cloris Leachman won (you go girls!!)

2) it is a slice of life film portraying the way television changed our communities and lifestyles, and the way small towns in the West were changing as people started moving away into bigger cities

3) it launched the careers of several actors and the director

4) it was one of the first movies to not have a score - the music in the film was all songs of the time and interestingly, was always diegetic, coming from car radios, record players, jukeboxes, etc


Overall, I'd say it was good, and I'm glad I saw it. It is definitely a film that will stick with me and I really appreciated the performances of the actors and the some of the choices the director made, such as shooting in black and white to capture the time period, to better convey a mood, and to make use of a greater depth of field (this was a tip he got from his BFF Orson Welles apparently).

One thing that stood out to me was the interactions between the older and younger generations, especially as I find myself reaching that point lately where I'm switching to the other side (NBD I'M OK WITH IT TOTALLY I AM). The younger generation seemed restless, uncertain, trying to find their way making such obvious but sincere and heartfelt mistakes (growing pains). The older generation seemed more reserved, having wisdom that could be shared but that was not always received. "Hey you sweet youngsters, do you want some advice? No? Ok just do your own thing. I'm cool."

It's interesting that the director was only 31 at the time, and in the documentary he talks about hiring the younger generation first, along with the male older generation actor (he had a connection to Western director John Ford so Bogdanovich knew who he wanted from the start); he had more trouble finding the "older women" actors (around 40 = "older women" NBD). He had to ask people for suggestions because he literally had no idea. Like the older generation was literally a second thought, which is how the younger generation seemed to perceive the older generation in the film as well. [The director clearly identified more with the younger generation - he started a relationship with Cybill Shepard who was about 14 at the time (gross, NBD).]

Either way, Bogdanovich ended up with some good people in the end, obviously. Especially Cloris Leachman, who will always be one of my favorite actresses. I hated in the film how Sonny talked about Cybill's character being so much prettier than Cloris' in the context of how well he treated her, like prettiness is the most important characteristic when determining how to treat someone. I guess when you get to be my/our age, you finally understand that prettiness is a fleeting characteristic and not something that should be used to determine how well to treat someone anyway.

**********

P.S. A side benefit to this is learning so much more about filmmaking technique and theory. I actually learned what diegetic sound was from watching Archer (seriously) but now I know more about depth of field too.




Wednesday, July 05, 2017

May Minimalism Challenge (may? so retro!)

I've mentioned the May Minimalism Challenge before and threatened to write about it - I even posted some photos on Instagram in case you don't believe I actually got rid of anything (see below, music by Uncle Earl). The idea was to get rid of one thing on May 1, two things on May 2, and so on. I got up to the early 20s I think!


Even though I didn't finish, this was a very useful activity. I got rid of a few things (YAY) but more importantly, I challenged myself to get rid of some things! I broke through the inertia of collecting junk, which was very important for me. 

Before I finished the challenge several "life" (and death) things occurred that interfered with my ability to sort and get rid of things (it's hard to sort/toss/donate when you are hundreds of miles away) and when I got back, the thought of getting rid of so much stuff at once was just overwhelming (25 + 26 + 27 + #@$(&@). That's why I've decided to get rid of 40 things by 40. 

My sister-in-law, like others I've known, regularly goes through her house getting rid of things they don't need. It helps her because she doesn't like to have lots of stuff around. Sometimes she gives away gifts people have given her and sometimes she gives away things that she likes - it's not about that. It's about making a space where she and her family can feel uncluttered and unfettered.

Last time she did this I visited her afterwards and saw a present I'd given my niece in a bag to be taken away. At first I was a little sad but then after that first twinge I realized that my niece is learning the importance of making space for herself, and figuring out how to part with things guilt-free, and I was so happy about this that I didn't even mind. 

On some level I know that this inability to get rid of meaningless "stuff" is basically allowing myself to be controlled by it and that's no good. That's why in my list of goals I call this one 40 Unbroken Chains. I really feel like that's what they are - chains. Which is weird because it makes me wonder why I can't just throw them all away at once. I guess it just takes a little practice. :-)

Tuesday, July 04, 2017

AFI Top 100: Do The Right Thing (#96 in 2007; not listed in 1998) (spoilers)


I really can't believe I had never seen this movie but I've seen it now and won't forget it. It was really hard to watch at the end. I knew it started as a comedy(-ish) and ended on a darker note but I wasn't really ready to watch Radio Raheem be murdered by the police in front of a crowd of people. The people started chanting "HOWARD BEACH" and I had to look it up but there were several African-American young men beaten to death in NYC all around the same time, and one of the events occurred at Howard Beach. One of the murders happened the year this film was released. The Howard Beach incident was the one that inspired the film in part, with the location in a pizzeria as a clear reference to the actual event (although in that event, the murderers were a group of white teenagers, not the police).

In the Do the Right Thing: 20 Years Later special feature on the DVD, Spike Lee says that NYC has greatly improved since then (this special was filmed in 2009) but watching Radio Raheem die in a chokehold is just too similar to all of these videos of other black men being murdered by police for me to feel like it was a different time.


This Independence Day I just have to wonder if we will ever be able to live in a place where the murder of an uncharged (read: INNOCENT) person by the police is seen as a statistical anomaly or a freak event. If not I just don't see how police departments will ever earn back our trust. I appreciate them risking their lives but nobody ever said being a police officer was easy or safe.

Before he was murdered, Radio Raheem was at the center of a big fight and I was thinking to myself how glad I was that no one was carrying guns, and what a surprise that was to me. "Thank goodness this was before everyone carried a gun," I thought. "Or something very serious would have been happening." Then the police showed up.

I hate that our children are growing up in such a lethal environment. I can't help but think there must be a better way for us to live together. The Washington Post published a really good article about the film and the connection to present-day events after the death of Bill Nunn, who played Radio Raheem.

Rest in Power.

Monday, July 03, 2017

Update 3: 400 B4 40

Before the specifics, I want to give a general update on stuff and things. I'll get into the details below. As you may have seen, Collin and I went to Colorado last week for my sister-in-law's wedding, which was beautiful. I saw a place that did ziplining but we didn't have a chance to do it.

I've been thinking about ziplining though, because I'm planning my 40 trip! I'm hoping that we can take a road trip to Key West. The only problems are 1) it's still really hot down there in September and 2) it's also hurricane season. So yeah, we're thinking about it. :-)

I've been really busy and noticing as usual that the first thing I let go of is the self-care. Urgh. But I'm going to SF in two weeks and that will be awesome. I'm not sure I'll be able to get healthy before 40, at least not as healthy as I would have liked, but I can definitely improve, so that's something to look forward to.

So. Updates.

Forty Playlists:


Oh my gosh it's getting so hard to make these mixes! Somehow I managed to cut 1983 from 5 hours to 1.5 but whew it was tough. 1984 started as over 6 hours!! I was just deleting like crazy - I can't even remember what I deleted honestly. It's all a blur. But not Blur. They didn't form until 1988. So far I am thinking this is my favorite "before 40" activity!
Year 0: 1977
Year 1: 1978
Year 2: 1979
Year 3: 1980
Year 4: 1981
Year 5: 1982
Year 6: 1983
Year 7: 1984

Forty-ish Films:


Still not making much progress on getting through the top 100 or even the 40ish I haven't seen yet. I brought the DVDs with me to Colorado but it has been really busy lately, and it's hard to watch movies while making playlists. :-)
1 (100): Ben-Hur
2 (99): Toy Story
3 (98): Yankee Doodle Dandy

Forty Defining Experiences:


Still thinking, but not as much. At least I'm being honest about it!

Forty Chores:


The list keeps growing but that's ok.
1 - repair paint on carl
2 - get NC license plate
3 - get ivy from trees
4 - remove dead weeds from walkway [I feel like I've done this a million times and they keep coming back. I think that's the nature of weeds, which makes me wonder if I should take this off the list...]
5 - trim azalea
6 - file all paperwork
7 - update blog background
8 - replace filter on cat fountain
9 - do something about the doors
10 - plant something?
11 - get a new passport (need to wait until after July)
12 - go to the eye doctor
13 - go to the lady doctor
14 - go to the dentist
15 - go to the dermatologist?
16 - find a real doctor
17 - cancel Foreign Affairs subscription
18 - update address at SFFCU and get new debit card
19 - hang plants from ceiling
20 - hang intentions board
21 - edit video footage of Louis from 2015
22 - edit video footage of Collin from 2016
23 - edit video footage of Devon from 2017
24 - renew library books and return books that can't be renewed anymore
25 - fix slow draining shower!!!
26 - Write May Minimalism Challenge blog entry
27 - edit video footage of Greer's wedding from 2017
28 - finish year 1 (SF) photo book! :-)
29 - photobook for Greer!
30 - take donations away from the house!
31 - clear out cardboard boxes from downstairs

Forty Unbroken Chains:


My previously gathered things are getting lonely. 


Forty Letters:


Hmm, need to do...

Forty Acts of Self-Love:


1 - facial steam (today)
2 - haircut
3 - rainbow mani-pedi
4 - massage chair at Collin's haircut
5 - lying out in the sun on the porch reading Borne

Forty Job Applications:


Ay caramba, I don't know how many I've done so far but I had two interviews in the past week (same place) so that feels pretty great!

Forty Photos:


2002 (age 25): Reynoldstown, Atlanta, getting ready for a Halloween party in the apartment I shared with my friend from college (the one dressed as Maggie the Cat) and her friend (not pictured). This was right around the time I started dating Collin (the first time). By the next Halloween my friend and I had "broken up" and so had Collin and I. 


2003 (age 25): Spain with Mom to visit Baxter, who was studying abroad. I love this photo. It was taken by mom in the beautiful Atocha Train Station in Madrid, less than a year before the bomb attacks here.


2005 (age 27): Surrey (England) with Mom, who was doing some consulting work there. I studied for my prelim in Social Movements while she was working and had shortbread and tea with milk every morning for breakfast. We went for a long walk on some of the walking trails around there and found this neighborhood pub, where a barman named James served me a delicious "bitter" with a smile. Also that was my Power Puff Girls watch, which I miss.

Forty Haiku:


No new ones!

Playlist! YEAR 7: 1984

In 1984 I changed schools for the first time, because my school was repurposed into an administration building. I remember playing in the big magnolia tree next door with all the neighborhood kids, and going to sleepovers at their houses. I remember trick-or-treating, trying to avoid the lady who gave out pennies, and I remember mom portioning out our Halloween candy for months later. I remember going to summer camps at the Y. I remember listening to music and watching MTV at my dad's house when we'd go visit for the weekends, taking trips in mom's little camper and listening to her sing along with the radio, roller skating, getting awesome grades, and losing teeth like crazy.

In my first grade photo, which was taken in 1983, I was missing both front teeth. The day before my second grade photo I ran into the magnolia tree, so my mom let me wear my favorite dress even though it didn't have a collar and she french braided my hair around the crown of my head. I still had a big scab in the middle of my forehead, but everyone told me that I'd laugh about it later and they were all right.

I remember going to a slumber party once for my friend's birthday, which was right around Valentine's Day. They had hung pink heart streamers in the basement, where they sat us down around the TV to watch Poltergeist (which was actually rated PG since they hadn't invented PG-13 yet). This was the first scary movie I saw and at one of the most terrifying moments, one of the streamers came down on us. We screamed and ran up and all piled on her dad's lap.


In 1984, Hollywood gave us Ghostbusters, Gremlins, the Terminator, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Karate Kid, Sixteen Candles, Purple Rain, Revenge of the Nerds, Footloose, Police Academy (the start of an empire), Splash, and The Muppets Take Manhattan. It also gave us Blood Simple, Dune, This is Spinal Tap, and Repo Man, which I didn't appreciate until later. I still haven't seen Children of the Corn and Firestarter. I remember watching Purple Rain at a sleepover at the Y. Really not sure how that happened, since the movie is rated R, but it's better not to question 1984 in its Infinite Wisdom.


I thought making the 1983 playlist was hard and it was but a few kind-of-big-deal albums came out in 1984, too, like, oh I don't know Born in the U.S.A. (Bruce Springsteen), Like a Virgin (Madonna), She's So Unusual (Cyndi Lauper), and the Purple Rain soundtrack so yeah, back up to 6 hours again to start.

After much nail-biting, I got it down to right around 2 hours and I'm going to leave it. I moved a couple of the songs to 1983 so now that one is up to 1.7 hours, too. I'm going to have to start tightening up because once I get to the early 90s things are going to get crazy at this rate.


Link / Year 7: 1984*

Track Listing:


Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry
Missing You - John Waite
Like a Virgin - Madonna
Pride (In the Name of Love) - U2
In a Big Country - Big Country
Out of Touch - Hall & Oates
Run to You - Bryan Adams
Footloose - Kenny Loggins
Ghostbusters - Ray Parker, Jr.
Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Let's Go Crazy - Prince
Jam On It - Newcleus
No Parking (On the Dance Floor) - Midnight Star
Let the Music Play - Shannon
I Didn't Mean to Turn You On - Cherrelle
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!
You Might Think - The Cars
Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes
2000 Miles - Pretenders
Against All Odds - Phil Collins
Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police
How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths
I Can Dream About You - Dan Hartman
What's Love Got to Do With It - Tina Turner
Glory Days - Bruce Springsteen


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Playlist! YEAR 6: 1983

When I started editing 1983, I already had gathered 5+ hours of music. Somehow I managed to cut it down to less than 2 hours but I don't know how. I must have cut important songs but at this point I'll never know.

It's really getting fun/challenging because I have memories of hearing these songs on the radio now. Collin and I listened to this playlist (with the bonus tracks) last night, trying to figure out what to cut while considering where to go for our-my-birthday trip. Two years after his 40th he's getting excited about celebrating :-)

In addition to my early memories of these songs making it difficult to cut songs, there were also several really ground-breaking/awesome albums released this year: Borderline (Madonna), Let's Dance (David Bowie), Speaking in Tongues (Talking Heads), Synchronicity (The Police), Thriller (Michael Jackson)... At least my informal rule of only having one song per artist allowed (forced) me to cut quite a few songs!

Link / Year 6: 1983*

Track Listing:


This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads
Every Breath You Take - The Police
Eyes Without a Face - Billy Idol
China Girl - David Bowie
Lucky Star - Madonna
Only You - Yaz
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
Rockit - Herbie Hancock
Freak-A-Zoid (Radio Edit) - Midnight Star
Rio (US Edit) - Duran Duran
Der Kommissar - After the Fire
Africa - Toto
One on One - Hall & Oates
Faithfully - Journey
Flashdance... What a Feeling (Radio Edit) - Irene Cara
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Jeopardy - Greg Kihn Band
The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats
Come Dancing - The Kinks
A New England - Billy Bragg
Cherry Oh Baby - UB40
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
All Night Long (All Night) - Lionel Richie


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Saturday, July 01, 2017

Playlist! YEAR 5: 1982

1982 was tough but 1983 is going to be the real challenge, with 5+ hours of music already.

1982 was the year I started school! Lots of fun times and reading about Sam the Snake.

UPDATE: I edited the playlist a little. I forgot I had already posted it... Don't worry I'm actually working on 1983 now!!

Link / Year 5: 1982*

Track Listing:


Don't Stop... Planet Rock (Afrika Bambaataa & The Soulsonic Force
Mickey - Toni Basil
We Got the Beat - Go-Go's
I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow
I Know What Boys Like - The Waitresses
Gone Daddy Gone - Violent Femmes
Since You're Gone - The Cars
Save It For Later - The English Beat
I Melt With You - Modern English
Our House - Madness
Who Can It Be Now? - Men At Work
Hold Me - Fleetwood Mac
Eye in the Sky - The Alan Parsons Project
Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, and Nash
Waiting for a Girl Like You - Foreigner
Maneater - Hall and Oates
Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band
The Girl is Mine (ft. Paul McCartney) - Michael Jackson
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
1999 - Prince
The Message (ft. Melle Mel & Duke Bootee) - Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five

*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Playlist! YEAR 4: 1981

Well it took me a few days to get this one but I'm more worried about 1982 and 1983, for which I already have more than 7 hours of music.

It's been so much fun having all of these mixes around but I'm not watching many movies...


Link / Year 4: 1981*

Track Listing:


Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
The Tide is High - Blondie
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da - The Police
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
I Love a Rainy Night - Eddie Rabbitt
Queen of Hearts - Juice Newton
Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Stop Draggin' My Heart Around - Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Just the Two of Us - Grover Washington, Jr. with Bill Withers
The One That I Love- Air Supply
In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins
Under Pressure - Queen and David Bowie
I Can't Go for That (No Can Do) - Hall and Oates
Centerfold - The J. Geils Band
Hold On Tight - ELO
Don't Stop the Music - Yarbrough & Peoples
Fantastic Voyage - Lakeside
Super Freak - Rick James
Genius of Love - Tom Tom Club
I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Zapp and Roger


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Friday, June 30, 2017

Greer's Wedding: Processional (6/24/17)



Brandon played Northern Wind by City and Colour as the processional. It was so lovely! The sound is not bad, except for the part with the harmony - we heard it beautifully live but the camera didn't pick it up well. I'm working on a longer video but wanted to send this out ahead of time.

charity

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Playlist! YEAR 3: 1980

The hardest thing about these mixes has been getting songs of totally different genres together in a way that makes aural sense. It's getting harder because it seems like the number of genres is increasing as time passes. I've had to start cutting songs I really love because they just don't fit. (LIFE IS HARD.) I will almost certainly revisit this track listing but it's time to move on now.

Broadly speaking, 1980 was a time of moving away from disco and towards New Wave. And while I'm sad to be losing disco, I'm pretty glad that I won't have to try to fit disco music into these mixes anymore...


Link / Year 3: 1980*

Track Listing:


Rock With You - Michael Jackson
Upside Down - Diana Ross
The Breaks - Kurtis Blow
Rapture - Blondie
Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
Ghost Town - The Specials
Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads
Mirror in the Bathroom - The English Beat
Let My Love Open the Door - Pete Townshend
Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon
Biggest Part of Me - Ambrosia
Shining Star - The Manhattans
Hey Nineteen - Steely Dan
Whip It - Devo
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Refugee - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Against the Wind - Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar
Tusk - Fleetwood Mac


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Sunday, June 18, 2017

The Curse of Great Beauty

I wrote this story in when I was 30. It's only semi-autobiographical. For instance, I definitely remember the guy walking around the grocery store with a chicken and his cane in the cart, but I don't remember ever gathering a crowd in the tomatoes aisle. I remember thinking at the time, "Wow if it gets this dark when I turn 30 I've got a long road ahead." Indeed.

I was also listening to lots of Clem Snide around that time.

c

The Curse of Great Beauty

My beauty isn’t what it once was.

When I was younger, I would stop traffic. Men, and sometimes women, would stare at me as they drove by, sometimes remembering to wave, but other times just gaze, transfixed, under my spell.

When it first began happening, I didn’t know what to make of it. I had been an adorable baby, but sometime during my pre-pubescence, I had begun looking mousy and nondescript, as one might say. In high school, I had typical adolescent self-esteem problems, and didn’t notice my own blossoming.

When people began staring like that, I attributed it to possible fashion faux pas, always checking myself to see if I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe, or mismatched shoes, or a giant stain on my shirt front.

I gradually came to realize that there was nothing wrong with me. The realization was exhilarating. I came to look forward to tossing my hair on a breezy day, and could feel the eyes catching the sun as it shone of my shiny tresses. I would dress up to go the grocery, knowing that I could stand in the aisle deciding which type of canned tomatoes to purchase and by the time I left, several people would have stopped to mull over the same decision, casting sideways glances at me while there.

I marveled at the freedom this sort of admiration brought. I never had to remember anyone’s birthday. I never had to worry about an admirer’s faithfulness. I never had to worry that a loved one would see an ugly side of me and turn away in disgust. It was fantastic. This is all I need out of life, I thought, smiling and winking as I passed a group of young men standing on the corner, their female friends scowling subtly, so as not to betray their jealousy.

I never felt lonely.

Then, at some point, I noticed the number of admirers began to dwindle. Just as I was realizing my power, and strength, and beauty—just as I realized I should not take any of it for granted—I realized that I was no longer the center of that attention. I compensated, wearing more revealing shirts at first, then darker eye make-up, then making more eye contact.

One day, as I was getting ready, I had what recovering addicts call a “moment of clarity.” I saw myself. I looked at my face, halfway through the disguising process, and felt like Baby Jane. I looked at my outfit and felt like Jezebel. I thought of all the young women I was competing with and realized that I no longer had what they had—the thing that made them all so gorgeous and had once graced my countenance—peace. Joy in living the moment. Happiness to share in the beauty of the whole world. Just enough self-doubt to be delighted in the affirmation of a beauty just discovered.

All of that was gone now, and no amount of make-up or garish clothing could reproduce it. I had never been so lonely in my life.

I put down my make-up, and took off my disguise. I went to the store and stood in the canned tomatoes aisle, trying to decide between seasoned and unseasoned, organic and conventional, diced and chopped, and while I did, people came through, picking up their cans and moving on. I smiled to myself. I am the invisible woman, I thought. I went to the produce section. People passed me with their carts, pushing their babies, or talking with their partners, or on their phones, hardly noticing I was there. I decided on fresh organic grape tomatoes, smiling again to myself as I imagined the pop of sweetness in my mouth, feeling in my memory the freshly turned dirt of my grandfather’s farm as I squished it between my toes.

I realized—not too late, as these realizations are never too late, but always just on time—that I had been blind all along to my true beauty.

I’m not as beautiful as I once was, but I finally have access to the beauty that really matters. The beauty of my heart, the beauty of my memory, the beauty of my love, the beauty of my family, the beauty of my spirit, the beauty of my soul. And I can finally see that beauty in others.

Now, beauty stops me in my tracks, and I realize that it is everywhere. There is the beauty of a little girl chasing a dog in the front yard, laughing hysterically as the dog plays and loves the only way he knows. I know they are both living life to the fullest. There is the beauty of an elderly man, pushing a shopping cart through the grocery holding nothing but a whole cooked chicken and his cane. I know I can never know the strength and pain he has endured, and only hope that I have the grace and resolve to make it as far. There is the beauty of a middle-aged couple walking through the bookstore together, holding hands, and the beauty of a man picking out a movie at the video store, alone like me.

Of course, there is always the beauty of a young woman walking with her hair blowing in the wind, as well, although it is tinged with sadness for me, and a hope that she will realize sooner than I did where beauty really resides.

Charity Crabtree
Sunday, 24 February 2008

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Playlist! YEAR 2: 1979

1979 was also harder than I expected. I fear this is only going to get more difficult. Kind of like life I guess. But I'm happy about this list, not only because it represents the year Baxter entered the scene, and not only because it is the last year before the 80s, and not only because of the awesome progression for tracks 11-13, but because of all of those things.

And because my intention was to finish the 70s today and yes it's 11:30 pm but I've finished the shit out of the 70s, thank you very much.

Link / Year 2: 1979*

Track Listing:


Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough - Michael Jackson
Good Times - Chic
We Are Family - Sister Sledge (WELCOME TO THE WORLD BAXTER)
Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
Fool in the Rain - Led Zeppelin
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
Dance the Night Away - Van Halen
Cars - Gary Numan
Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' - Journey
Making Plans for Nigel - XTC
Message in a Bottle - The Police
A Message to You Rudy - The Specials
Rudie Can't Fail - The Clash
Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes
What a Fool Believes - The Doobie Brothers
Goodbye Stranger - Supertramp
Lady - Little River Band
Nobody Home - Pink Floyd
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
Heart of Glass - Blondie
Video Killed the Radio Star - The Buggles
Rapper's Delight - The Sugarhill Gang


*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo

Update 2: 400 B4 40

Forty Playlists:


I finished two and am trying to finalize three more, which will take me up to kindergarten (!!). I also re-numbered from 0 - 40, which is technically 41. My goal is to finish the seventies today!
Year 0: 1977
Year 1: 1978

Forty-ish Films:


Not making that much progress but at least I finally finished writing about all of them (see below)! Currently on deck: Do the Right Thing (1989) and The Last Picture Show (1971).
1 (100): Ben-Hur
2 (99): Toy Story
3 (98): Yankee Doodle Dandy

Forty Defining Experiences:


I have started listing experiences but want to get a longer list before I start editing.

Forty Chores:


I have a list of 26 chores; I've done eight of them and started many of them!
1 - repair paint on carl
2 - get NC license plate
3 - get ivy from trees
4 - remove dead weeds from walkway
5 - trim azalea
6 - file all paperwork
7 - update blog background
8 - replace filter on cat fountain
9 - do something about the doors
10 - plant something?
11 - get a new passport (need to wait until after July)
12 - go to the eye doctor
13 - go to the lady doctor
14 - go to the dentist
15 - go to the dermatologist?
16 - find a real doctor
17 - cancel Foreign Affairs subscription
18 - update address at SFFCU and get new debit card
19 - hang plants from ceiling [need to get 5/16" drill bit first - ordered and waiting!]
20 - hang intentions board
21 - edit video footage of Louis from 2015
22 - edit video footage of Collin from 2016
23 - edit video footage of Devon from 2017
24 - renew library books and return books that can't be renewed anymore
25 - fix slow draining shower!!!
26 - Write May Minimalism Challenge blog entry

Forty Unbroken Chains:


I've started gathering things!

Forty Letters:



I received my cards and am ready to write my letters!

Forty Acts of Self-Love:


I got my hairs cut and it's fantastic! I also finished my rainbow pedicure. This required me to purchase yellow nail polish by the way, which I imagine I'll only ever use once a year. :-)


Let's see, so that adds up to 4 things. As I said, this category might not get up to 40 but I'm realizing that lots of "chores" on my list are actually self-care chores, like hanging plants in my office. But I have had a hard time prioritizing things like Pilates and meditation, which sound like easy things to do...

Forty Job Applications:


I submitted two job applications and have been talking to someone about the possibility of a different position! Very exciting.

Forty Photos:


This is my headshot for improv shows, taken in 2009 (I think). We had to get one made so that when we were cast in shows, the photos could be hung out front to identify who was going to be in the show that night. I didn't use it very often, since I stopped doing improv in 2010 (I STILL MISS IT SO HARD), but it still means a lot to me because of the reason it was used and because my sweet boyfriend Sanks took it and I was laughing about something hilarious that he said.



Forty Haiku:


Three and Four:
our new home greets us
we embrace, smile, and relax -
adulting win! then...

appliances groan
drains and ducts reveal horrors
bugs and banks snicker

Playlist! YEAR 1: 1978

1978 was way harder than I expected. I finally just gave up, honestly. I might revise this one later.

Link / Year 1: 1978*

Track Listing:


Flashlight - Parliament
Le Freak - Chic
Boogie Oogie Oogie - A Taste of Honey
Mary Jane - Rick James
Take Me to the River - Talking Heads
Who Are You - The Who
Just What I Needed - The Cars
Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits
Hold the Line - Toto
(I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea - Elvis Costello and the Attractions
Lay Down Sally - Eric Clapton
Fire on the Mountain - Grateful Dead
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
Is She Really Going Out with Him? - Joe Jackson
You're the One that I Want - John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
One Way or Another - Blondie
Roxanne - The Police
Stayin' Alive - The Bee Gees
Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
Can't Smile Without You - Barry Manilow
September - Earth, Wind, and Fire
Y.M.C.A. - Village People

*By the way, you may have to have a subscription to Apple Music to listen to this. You will almost certainly need iTunes and an Apple ID. If you'd rather I make you an actual mixtape, just remember that it's 2017 not 1977.

thanks xoxo