joys of homeownership

hi there my dearest homies.

please allow me to start at the beginning.

our home inspector told us before we bought the house that the ductwork was in shambles. we included in our offer the contingency that the previous owner had to replace or fix it but had a trip to san francisco scheduled the week before closing. like the good-natured naive northern californians we were at the time, we assumed 1) that our realtor was on the up-and-up, and 2) that the home inspector was a man of integrity and compassion, and 3) that the homeowner was a DIY pseudo-master who would try to get something substandard through if possible not necessarily because of any bad intentions but because he believed it was all done 100% correctly (we were right about the last one, actually).

our realtor walked through the re-inspection with the home inspector and the homeowner since we were 3000 miles away and gave it the thumbs-up. fast-forward to the first week in the house when we noticed the living room vibrating. we called a repairman who told us it was just because the furnace/blower was stacked precariously on some cement blocks and it had gotten unbalanced somehow, probably during the re-inspection, and oh my god have you seen your ductwork LOL YOU GOT A DATE WEDNESDAY BABY.

so yesterday after months of getting quotes and talking to various companies and having various companies pass us off to other companies because they stopped doing HVAC and deciding whether we wanted to replace our shitty outdoor AC unit that was only four years old or our shitty furnace and blower that was only 30-ish years old or our evaporator coil that was only 15-ish years old or our water heater that was only 20-ish years old or all of the above (we ended up replacing the water heater back in december and postponing the rest) we finally agreed on a project that will cost close to $10k (and then our AC broke one 90 degree day but turns out it was just the evaporating coil that had frozen solid NBD) and all this would be a lot easier to stomach if i had a job already and then today...

a guy came to look at our dryer which quit abruptly a few weeks ago and determined that it would cost $450 to fix it which is basically the same price as a new dryer and since the old dryer is 7-11 years old (we don't have any of the paperwork because the homeowner didn't leave it WHY WOULD HE) we have to replace it. so no doing any of the ginormous amount of laundry currently stacked up in our bedroom and on top of that i have to find a dryer to buy and maybe it's time to get a job but i heard from the job i really wanted yesterday and they already filled the position so i'm trying to keep a positive outlook - oh and did i mention i'm getting ready to turn 40 in a few months and i'm 40 pounds overweight?

i know i'm being very un-Dude right now but the stress is getting to me man. it's getting to me.

oh this was called the joys of homeownership, right. well let's see.

um...

i'm glad we don't share walls with anyone because when i play Leonard Cohen REALLY LOUD once Collin goes to Whole Foods to get his salad for lunch, no one will call the police. so that's something.