things that happened over my winter break.

first the fun stuff: i went home and saw my family, which was nice as usual. unfortunately my brothers were not able to come home, but i did spend some time with my mom and stepdad. it was very nice except for the several days in which i had the flu. after i recovered, i went to visit my dad, where i snapped this photo of my dad and stepmom:


in addition to spending time with my parents, i also was able to see some girlfriends of mine from high school, which was the most fun! even though it had been many years, it was just like yesterday! we had such a good time! we ended up getting frozen pizza and watching tv and talking all night. just like old times... courtney has a dog, an adorable miniature schnauzer (see below) and stacie and i discussed our plans (loosely defined) to move to portland in the spring/summer/fall/winter (however long it takes).


unfortunately, when i got home to atlanta things got more complicated. my car was broken into and my ipod stolen during a terrible rainstorm that left my passenger seat soaked, i overdrew my bank account, and then to top it all off my computer broke again, two months after my three year warrantee expired:


the good news is that a very sweet kind "genius" at the apple store took pity on me and allowed me to sneak my computer through as if still under warrantee, something i was even more relieved about when it came back with a brand new motherboard, the most expensive component of the computer.

the other good news is that i am fine and my family is fine, and my friends are fine, and my cats are fine. ben is trying to get me to see the relative lack of importance of these "things"-- they are all replaceable, after all. the important thing is to value the good things that are always there, you just have to look for them. i guess after a while you'll get used to doing it that way, and then you won't have to look so hard.

of course ben lives in portland now, so i miss him terribly. but, on the POSITIVE side, he is just a phone call away!!

charity :)

babies, kids, and music

i leave the television on while i work sometimes (i don't know why, since the only thing this does for me is to distract me with irritating commercials). anyway, my attention was diverted a moment ago by the most awful sound ever. it was a commercial for:



kid's country power! all these kids, screaming country songs, the child voiceover squealing, "finally, it's our turn to sing" as if before someone was screaming, "NO, CHILDREN. IT'S NOT YOUR TURN TO SING YET!!"

wait, wait. i love kids, and i love music. and i will even put up with kids music. but i have to draw the line at letting them have my music ("them" being record companies trying to profit off parents who buy their kids everything they want? who is the market for this product after all? children of baby boomers having their own children, i guess; the most consumption-driven generation on record). not when they're going to turn it into something barely recognizable, but just painfully recognizable enough... i mean, look at this:



argh! and it's not just punk and country music that has been maliciously (or at the very least misguidedly) turned into lullaby format: the website nippaz with attitude sells all sorts of butchered music: hip-hop, dance music, 80s music...

they sell this music because supposedly "we" the parents will hate it less than baby lullaby music, but babies are ok with classical, generally; why not just listen to that with your baby? i'm all for putting infants in AC/DC onesies if you're a fan but would you really prefer to hear 2pac's "I Ain't Mad Atcha" played on vibraphone than Brahms' lullaby? what is the matter with you people?

and then when they grow up a little bit, and they start picking out their own music and forming their own taste, and if my kids want to listen to country music, can't they just listen to country music? or am i really expected to grit my teeth and attempt to not go insane listening to a recording of a group of kids singing "I Like It, I Love It" in the style of Tim McGraw?

i'm so glad i don't have to worry about this for now. although it's also nice to know exactly how i'm going to respond when my kids start whining for those albums. i'm just going to put in my Urban Chipmunk tape and say "kids, this is what adult music for kids is supposed to sound like. you find me something this good, and i'll buy it for you. if you just want to sing your favorite country songs, go hook up the karaoke machine."



charity :)

alphabet soup: blogging for the lazy.

[A] - AVAILABLE?: i wonder how well wedding singing pays as a profession?

[B] - BIRTHDAY? september 13th.

[C] - CRUSHING?: i have a big crush on finishing my dissertation.

[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: i had a glass of wine. i wish i had some decaf coffee, coz i really want a cup, but it's almost midnight, and if i drink coffee now i'll be off my schedule for like three days.

[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: i am very blessed to know many people extrememly easy to talk to. i think the easiest are ben, nikki, and stacie. i have to give special props to nikki and stacie, because i have found (unfortunately) that even after long periods of time without talking to these lovely ladies, it is easy as can be. i love you gals! (they don't actually read this blog, though...)

[F] - FAVORITE BANDS: sigh. must i go through this again?

[G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS? worms. bears are too small and often get hard, i have found. worms always satisfy.

[H]- HOMETOWN: when i was in high school they had a campaign going, calling it "a great place to live!" i will never forget that. it really is, though. a great place to live. kind of boring though. but pretty. and reasonable traffic except in the part where my dad lives. it's like the worst of suburban sprawl. there's a discount supercenter on every corner. it's pretty unbelievable, actually, and quite unfortunate. it used to be so quiet.

[I]- INSTRUMENT: piano. i can't seem to commit to the guitar.

[J] - JUGGLE: in high school we did a juggling section in PE one year. i don't know why. i loved juggling those scarfs though. they move so slowly through the air, anyone can do it. it's very satisfying. and dramatic.

[K] - KILLED SOMEONE: geez. what a ridiculous and terrifying question.

[L] - LONGEST CAR RIDE: to key west in an RV with my folks. see previous entry. well, from a long time ago.

[M] - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: we used to stop by cook out after church wednesdays and get milkshakes. that was fun. they always had new and exciting flavors. i liked lemon. daddy got watermelon once. it was weird. i don't think WATERmelon should be MILKy but i think that's just me.

[N] - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: depends on how you define them: somewhere between 2-5.

[O] - ONE WISH: i don't wish. it's pointless, and seems to me like admitting defeat.

[P] - PERSON WHO CALLED YOU LAST: ben.

[Q] - QUIT?: quit what? this question makes me feel anxious.

[R] - REASON TO SMILE?: i'm alive and healthy. the sun came up today. my cats like their new foraging toy that i made out of a paper towel roll. i just finished a covers cd that is pretty much the best one ever. the fool who broke into my car two days ago stole my ipod but not my car stereo. although i think the car stereo would have been cheaper to replace, at least he/she didn't steal both.

[S] - SONG YOU HEARD LAST: i'm listening to "can't help falling in love with you" by the eels.

[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP: mildly depressed + mildly lazy + flexible work schedule = waking up really late.

[U] - UNDERWEAR: um, yes? again, not sure what you're after here.

[V] - VEGETABLES: yes please. e coli be damned, i've always loved spinach.

[W] - WORST HABIT: i think it's a tie between procrastination and aloofness.

[X] - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: teeth and chest.

[Y] - YOUR NUMBER OF FRIENDS ON MYSPACE: 70. although i think most are not my true friends (see the latter part of "W").

[Z] - ZODIAC: virgo. or fire snake, if you're into chinese astrology.

time's a wastin',
charity :)

new york city/3.

mom and baxter walking the labyrinth in union square.



me and ben not walking it.



tess and ben.

new york city/2.

me in/at moma.



mom in/at moma.



us in/at moma.



textures in/at moma.


i enjoyed MoMA. i would write more but i mean, it was enjoyable. ok? interesting exhibits.

i really enjoy going to museums like that with really impressive collections, collections large enough and well-organized enough (PLEASE don't get me started on el prado) so that you can really see how art is developing, how the influence of one artist or a group of artists can reverberate for generations. i find it fascinating. oh, especially since we just covered becker and "art worlds" in my class. how cool would that be? "well, class-today we're going on a field trip to MoMA" (you lucky bastards!!)

anyway, i'll let that be it for this entry. still one more little group of pictures to post. what a difficult life i lead ("NOT" a la Borat).

by the way, have you seen that movie?

charity :)

new york city/1.

light and crowds on fifth avenue.



ben and me in central park. we were watching the ice skaters with mom and baxter after austin went to work.



in front of radio city music hall. baxter, get off the phone! oh, you.



mom at the tree at roc-a-fella center.



baxter was there too.

the miraculous healing of sam.

so i went to the vet yesterday who, although not my normal vet, dr. adams, was very nice and kind. she said sam was very good and kept saying it to all the techs who came in to help ("just hold him still, but it shouldn't be bad, sam is VERY good. he's a very sweet kitty").

it turns out sam's kneecap is not as securely housed by the groovy part of the knee bone in which it rests as it should be. so, sometimes if he jumps on it wrong, it can become inflamed, and keep coming out of place. this is also, incidentally, why he prefers sitting like this:





poor dear. she game him an anti-inflammatory, anti-pain shot, and although he's still walking with a limp, it is much less pronounced, and he is definitely on the road to recovery. he's a trooper. it won't be long before he's back to his frisky self:





the vet said if it continues to be a problem, he can have surgery. i think that will have to wait until i have a real job, though. let's hope he learns how to take care of it himself... anyway, thanks for any thoughts you might have sent his way. we all appreciate it.



oh, and another image from the textures and shapes collection.


take care, you!
charity :)

early december in photos.

this is a car i saw the other day. read closely. and enjoy.



ben's hands.



ben doesn't like having his picture made.



this morning when sam woke up, he couldn't walk without limping. he cries very loudly when he stands up. i'm taking him to the vet this afternoon. please be thinking about him, if you will.

very early november in photos.

above:part of a study of shapes and textures.
below: sam the pawlicker.




above: max the maximum.
below: close inspection.

anger and boogers.

hi.

i have been meaning to post some pictures on this here blog. i have several from recent non-adventures. instead, what finally got me back on here was this guy i ran into today. i don't know his name, so in order to avoid sounding impersonal, i'll just call him snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron.

today i was walking down the sidewalk with my soy latte, my guilty pleasure from starbucks. i had just been reading over my dissertation proposal, basking in the beauty of its continuing improvement, toying with the idea that maybe someday i'll be a real academic whose work is published in real sociological journals. i remembered with joy what it sounded like to hear "your masters degree will technically be awarded january": the frustration of having to wait so long was immediately replaced by overwhelming pride in a job done. i was enjoying the beautiful day and the snuggly scarf my mom knitted so long ago she can't even remember, when i saw a guy walking towards me.

when i said the man (soon to earn the title of snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron) was walking towards me, i mean exactly that: he was veering diagonally across the sidewalk towards me. confused at his seemingly erratic behavior, i realized he was covering his entire face with his gloved hand, apparently blowing every face orifice into what i hope and fear was a used handkerchief of the type that the fuddy-duddy-englishmen-type carry.

seeing that he was headed straight towards me, i remembered how only this morning i vowed to take good care of myself so i would not get the flu, even though i (foolishly perhaps) decided not to get a flu shot. too late, i realize now, i called out "excuse me!" a split second later, he smashed into me, spilling my coffee all over me and knocking me off balance-- and off the sidewalk.

"JESUS!" i cried out, perhaps calling out to Jesus to please not let this nasty snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron infect me with his grossness, perhaps just expressing the intense exasperation i felt at having been completed ignored. is it unreasonable, i ask, to expect people walking down the sidewalk to pay attention to wear they are going? to who they might run into? especially when they are sick and in the process of grossly, publicly, disposing of their illness productions, however ineffectively?

then, to my surprise, and the part that forced me to share this gross story with you:

"PLEASE! I COULDN'T SEE YOU BECAUSE I WAS BLOWING MY NOSE." i heard him snap at me as i walked on, shaking my shoes off and inspecting my jeans. my ears perked up when i heard him, and i made a face that said "what the hell?" but didn't turn to face him.

"ASSHOLE," concluded snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron, so loud that i heard him over the disco jazz playing in my headset, even though he was several feet away by then.

hmm. sigh.

i walked on, back to work, shaking my head in wonder.

people say i'm mean sometimes. i think i'm pretty nice. no... i can't let that slide. i'm not that nice. i can be mean. and speaking of mean, there are a lot of things i wish i had said to snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron. so many things.

but i didn't say anything. why? because i was foolish enough to learn manners growing up? because i have learned my place as a girl/lady/woman? that i'm supposed to put up with rude asshole men treating me like i'm invisible, like i'm worth no more that a common handkerchief? that as such, i'm not allowed to speak up for myself and under no circumstances am i supposed to be rude?

oh, you showed me, snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron. i forgot all my teachings but you showed me with your rough talk. i'll know better in the future. i won't expect common courtesy in the future. if i make the idiotic mistake to do so, i won't bother standing up for myself and i promise, snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron, i promise i'll never insult you, you fucking asshole snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron.

trying not to externalize. trying not to externalize. the thing is, i'm not going to internalize anymore either. and that's kind of what women are taught to do growing up.

it has been so hard to learn how to let stuff like this go. but i'm trying.

snot-nosed-jerk-face-moron is just lucky that the reverend al green came on to soothe the savage beast (me). i just hope i didn't get SARS or the avian flu or whatever widespread epidemic is (not) going around this season.

charity >:)

sexual chocolate.

maybe the funniest thing ever.
did you get some in YOUR halloween basket?

from Coming to America (1988).

images (passing the time while my car is inspected).

it's official...



WHO's old?



free coffee (if you'll go through the trouble of scraping it off the bottom of the decanter...)



straw flower.



richard is never dull.



me, looking strange.



gumballs.



camera case? or MONSTER?!?



you talkin' to me?!

random varied images (i went home this weekend).

traffic. i wasn't able to leave until thursday at about 4. i caught all the people looking forward to a long weekend.
at least i tried.



yoda stretching. i love this cat. i wish you could know how soft he is.
if you do, you already know you're lucky.



my little brother isaac doing something very mysterious/mischevious with the ginger sauce. oh, but he loves the ginger sauce...



my elderly lady tubby. i love this cat. she is unbelievably beautiful.
evidence of god? maybe.



mom squeezing richard's eyes out.
(lovingly, of course...)

baxter and austin pic; charity survey.

here's a sweet picture of my sweet brother and his sweet wife.

and here's a silly survey from me.

1. Who was your first prom date?
my best friends. i never had a date-date.

2. Who was your first roommate?
patsy/lorraine was my first roommate at college.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?
everclear and koolaid. then i had newcastle. it's no wonder i still prefer beer over liquor.

4. What was your first job?
cashier at the fresh market; across the street from guilford college, which is my current dream job.

5. What was your first car?
82 buick regal. bro-bro. the only car i've ever had with automatic windows and door locks. and velvet interior. very fancy, just old. like me. :)

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
at age 5, my grandpa ralph. very sad.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
ms. whitfield.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
my dad took me and my brother up with a friend of his in his friend's plane when i was about 5. it was very exciting, and possibly the first time i experienced a sense of my own mortality. age 5 was a tough time. my parents got divorced, too.

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
baxter and i used to sneak out, but i was technically an adult at the time.

11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
my first best friend was allison smith, and no, we're not still friends. we were friends because our dads were friends. when my parents divorced and i moved with my mom, my relationship with allison suffered, which is fine. my next best friend, bibi, was more interesting anyway. she had about 50 hamsters.

12. Where was your first sleepover?
i think at allison's.

13. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
usually myself. i usually talk to sam first thing, but he's not technically a person.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
my mom's and stepdad's.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
moan a little bit. hit the snooze button.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
the first real concert was the indigo girls swamp ophelia tour.

17. First tattoo or piercing?
ears when i was 5, i think. geez, that WAS a big year.

18. First celebrity crush?
kirk cameron? jennifer connelly? who knows, really.

19. First crush?
although i had a "boyfriend" when i was 4-5, i think the first guy i was really crazy about was andrew williamson in the 7th grade. i thought the sun rose and set around him. i was surprisingly boy crazy from that point on (considering how shy i was and how i never dated).

20. First TRUE love?
i was simultaneously in love with hooper and allen in college, which was extremely problematic for all three of us, i think.

21. When was your first detention?
i had to stay in during recess in kindergarten coz this girl beside me was talking during arts and crafts and ms. sharpe thought it was me, which really broke my heart, not just because i got blamed for something i didn't do, but because she thought i would talk during class. i LOVED class! and then i had to take a frowny face home to mom instead of all my perfect behavior smilies. that was very sad. i also got detention in 8th grade from mr. hill, that short little troll.

by special request: sam and max.

sometimes, they are the most boring cats in the world.


sam and max (not) doing interesting things. i swear they were playing with this thing earlier.


max kneading while i talk on the phone.

tecate weekend: may 06 (update).

images from the weekend in lenoir this summer with mom and richard.
see blog entry: unfinished.


this sign is the only thing separating the smoking from non-smokings sections.
contrary to its imposing appearance, it was not an effective barrier.



instead of "no shirt, no shoes, no service,"
lenoir signs warn "no weapons, no alcohol." interesting.



tecate and sudoku in lenoir's most terrifying hotel.

viva las vegas! part one: fremont street.

i won't be able to post part two for a while (even though these pictures are from july, i'm just now getting to them) since i haven't gotten them developed yet.



my beautiful hostess: nikki aka felicia.


oh, the desert mountains. so beautiful!


the powers that be decided fremont street would be better if it were covered by the world's largest television screen or some such nonsense. i am sad i will never see the cowboy and his cowgirl with the night sky behind them, lit only by the neon from the surrounding signs. times they are a-changin' i guess.