in honor of Nikki's and my healing tongues.

25 Signs You've Grown Up*

25. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

24. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

23. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

22. 6 AM is when you wake up, not when you go to bed.

21. You hear your favorite song on the elevator.

20. You watch the Weather Channel.

19. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

18. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

17. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

16. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

15. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

14. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

12. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

11. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

10. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

9. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

8. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

7. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

6. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

5. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

4. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never doing to drink that much again."

3. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

2. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

1. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you.

* I don't actually know where this comes from, since I clipped it from a newspaper before these things were all true. I looked it up on the internet and it's everywhere, so there's no way I'm going to bother with finding out who initially wrote it. Anyway. Not me.

But it's funny! Many of them aren't true for me yet, but I look forward to the day when I can mark them off the list. I'm enjoying being a grown up. I bought a new bathing suit this year. It's plain, black and sensible.

People told me my thirties were going to be awesome, but I had no idea. I'm so glad I'm single for it, too. I feel more powerful than I ever have in the past. I say this after an 11-hour workday.

Guess what?

Pretty soon, you'll have to call me DOCTOR Crabtree.

Doctor Who? You heard me. I'm going to fetch the Tardis and start solving REAL problems!!

BBC

Charity :)