i can't believe our dryer has been broken for almost a month now. although in other ways it seems like years - we finally went to the store to buy a dryer, disillusioned but relieved to be getting the memorial day sale price at the very least (it was 10% off - not sure I'd say that's a huge sale but I digress)
we looked around and saw the ones we had found online - we asked the salesperson whether we'd have to take the floor model, as the online chat representative had mentioned
she looked at us like we were crazy or like she was really confused it was hard to tell - no of course not, we always order them straight from the vendor, well, unless it's one of the [home improvement sales jargon word] sales - pause - and this isn't - no this isn't one of those sales - ok thanks we'll just look around
so we looked around and decided to go with a different model anyway because they offered a steam feature in the washer - who needs a steam feature in a washer - who knows why does it matter what's the meaning of life anyway
we called to her and she brought us to her desk in the middle of the store to place our order and we sat there despondent as she looked up our washer - looks good - and dryer -
oh you're never going to believe this but it's on backorder - she tried to turn the screen to show us but it got stuck on the credit card reader - it's in transit but we don't expect it until 9/11 - wait, september? disbelief replaced despondency - yes! can you believe it?
yes.
well i might be able to get one for you sooner if you upgrade to the next model or you could go with the other one you were looking at - should we upgrade? what's the difference? who even cares any more? what's the point of any of this? did she say september? fine, let's upgrade even though i know you're just scamming us for the extra $100 bucks let's just throw it at this problem and make it go away -
oh you're never going to believe this but it's on backorder - she tried to turn the screen to show us but it got stuck on the credit card reader and she accidentally turned it off - it's in transit but we don't expect it until 9/11 - wait, september? - yes! can you believe it?
yes.
do you want to try the other model? she looked at us - well we can't possibly wait until september to dry our fucking clothes i thought and looked at collin, delirium and depletion replacing despondency at this point - yes please look up the other model
well it's on backorder too but should be here by 6/18 - that's june right? just a couple of weeks? - to think that we were worried we'd get it before the crew came to replace the ductwork on the first LOLOLOLOL
ok thanks very much here are one million forms to sign thank you have a nice day they will call you in a jillion years to schedule delivery i will never see you again or speak with you but if there's a problem with the delivery just keep all the forms and bring them back to the store and make sure the delivery people sign too otherwise we will think you are lying because we don't trust you any more than you trust us
we walked away - do you need anything else? - um yes we can go out through the garden center and i'll get some weed poison because i'm tired of those weeds in the gravel of our walk - yeah me too let's poison the shit out of those weeds
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