good news? are you kidding?

No, seriously. There is some good stuff to share. In no particular order:

1) I have gotten 8 interviews done for my dissertation! 30 minutes into the last one, which was yesterday, my silly little digital voice recorder shut off. It's an Olympus WS-100, and I love it because it was very cheap and until yesterday had been somewhat reliable. I'm not sure what happened yesterday. It issued forth a nervous beep, I picked it up and saw it flashing "Lo" and an empty battery, and then it immediately turned itself off. Hmm, that was weird, I thought, because I always anal-ly check the battery before I leave. Luckily, the part of the interview that I really needed most to be in his words was captured pre-meltdown (this I consider a great blessing, since we actually did the interview backwards as it turned out, and under normal circumstances I would have missed that part!). The crazy part was that after this, I started frantically writing down the things he said and then my pen ran out of ink! No, I'm not kidding! So I had to stop him and Bless his heart, he offered me a pen. What a very nice guy he was. I love interviewing acupuncturists. I have met some really great people. I'll never forget the sweet man who told me, "You will have many successes" at the end of our interview. I am actually looking forward to transcribing that one. Of course, I'm almost done with the acupuncturist interviews (yay!) so I'll soon have to move on to physicians. Eek. I'm a little more nervous about them. Well, once thing at a time.

2) I saw Transformers. Awesome. It's not the cartoon version. Get over it, nerds. It's fiction anyway.



From this website.

3) I finally bought a new iPod to replace the one that was viciously and maliciously stolen from my car during that thunder storm. Poor Jeffrey, out there alone in this world, probably he ended up in the locker of some rude rich teenager troublemaker who was disappointed that the iPod he lucked upon when he and his friends were causing random destruction of the neighborhood cars was a pre-video version. Poor little Jeffrey. It was hard for me to replace my sweet little boy, who also happened to be very expensive to replace. I ended up buying another one online at the Apple Store. It was a pretty good price; I got the 30 GB Video-playing iPod. I don't really need one that big or with video-playing capability, but it was the smallest one they had. The best part is that I could get little Jeffrey, Jr. engraved. He's so sweet, and this time I got the black one. I'm really enjoying it.



4) My stepdad is getting better and better. He should be going back to work in a week or so, light duty at first. I'm so lucky that they caught his blockage before he had a heart attack. Life is good.

5) I am on Weight Watchers and finally feel like I am gaining control over how I look. I figured, I'm turning 30 in a couple of months; I don't know what I want to do to celebrate (nothing seems exciting enough to match how truly excited I really am about it, in some very sick-feeling way) but I know I want to look as good as possible doing it. I've been exercising regularly for some time now but only after I started watching what I eat have I begun to lose weight. It feels really good. I look forward to fitting into my clothes again. Maybe I'll buy a new skirt or something, although I'm actually pretty happy with all of my clothes, I just wish I fit into them without looking like a white-collar hooker. :)

From this website.

6) In honor of my monumental birthday, I have decided to get a portrait made (photography). I'm pretty excited about that, and I know my family members will be excited to have a portrait of me that is less than 12 years old. I wish my cats could be in it, but I'd like to get it made somewhere outside the city, or in a park or something, and I don't really think the cats would enjoy the trip. I'm starting to think that maybe I'll try to get it made on my birthday. Making this decision has been strangely empowering. Most people get portraits made when they get engaged or married, or have a baby. Getting this portrait made is like saying that I am enough. It's empowering, but it's not actually how I saw myself spending my thirtieth birthday. Sometimes I get pretty sad about the things in my life that I don't have that I always wanted, but the truth is, when I manage to forget about the social pressures or socially constructed expectations (of others and of myself), I realize that my life is exactly how I want it to be. I would like to have kids one day, but I can, as soon as I get a stable job. It's funny, that's kind of how I always wanted to do it anyway. I don't actually enjoy being in romantic relationships. Sometimes I laugh when I catch myself mourning the lack of one in my life.

7) I am not sure if I have emphasized in the past how much I love the show "What Not to Wear" on TLC. If I had to choose between a What Not to Wear episode and a Top Chef episode, I would be very stressed out. (Although it does alarm me how many of the worst dressed people actually watch the show, apparently having learned nothing.)

From this website.

8) Speaking of looking good, I am really digging my shorter hair. The front layers follow my jaw line, and the back layers rest at the top of my back. This guy did a great job. I hope he's still there when I go back (the turnover rate at my salon is higher than the one at McDonald's, I swear). I'm thinking about getting my hair done before my portrait. How luxurious. I can't wait until I get a real job.

9) Oh, speaking of real jobs, UNCG is hiring! I probably won't get the job (and wouldn't want it, actually) because they are trying to be more of a research university (the way many state schools are going, in attempting to get more funding), but it's so nice to know that schools in Greensboro actually do hire people. :) Of course, I must admit that this makes it seem unlikely that they will hire an adjunct lecturer for the year after I graduate, and I was kind of hoping to get a job like that, since they're much less research-oriented than tenure track positions (and therefore more perfect for me, aside from the instability variable. Anyway, seeing this position advertised makes me very excited about the possibility of actually getting a job, period! I mean, exclamation point!

10) Sometimes I think that maybe I'm thirty and single because my potential family is out there waiting for me to get a job in that town and then move there, making it possible for my intended family to find me. How exciting to know that somewhere out there is a place for me. I just have to find it. And the fact is, I have no choice but to find it. :) And in the meantime, my life is a lot less complicated and stressful than it could be.

The moral of the story:

Life really is what you make of it. Two people, both given the same pile of shit to work with, may choose to a) mope and complain and feel bad, or b) make a shit sandwich. (If you haven't seen Drowning Mona, you really should.) See, I have my moments of optimism, too!



Charity :)

why i love michael moore.

I gotta watch this movie, yo. But it's not just healthcare that makes me love Michael Moore. It's his vehement berating of Wolf Blitzer and CNN and mainstream media in general on "The Situation Room" yesterday.

Although he insists he doesn't speak in soundbites, I want to point out this quote:

"You've fudged the facts to the American people now for I don't know how long – about healthcare, about the war... When are you going to stand there and apologize to the American people for not bringing the truth to them that isn't sponsored by some major corporation?"

Yeah, when are you going to do that, mainstream media?

My friend had a bumper sticker when we were in high school--I'm sure you've all seen this one--that said "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention." Sometimes I get really upset, because there are so few outraged people in the United States. Are we all just dumb? Or even worse, do we just not care? I think what it is, is that shit is so messed up right now people are paralyzed. Hopefully people will wake up and demand change soon, though. Before this Supreme Court finally takes away our freedom of speech. More than it already has, that is...

Michael Moore's website.

update on my stepdad

Thank you those who have been praying for (holding in the light, etc) my stepdad. He came out of the surgery yesterday and was awake and mumbling. The doctors are very happy with his recovery so far. He still has a ways to go, but so far so good!

thanks again,
charity :)

please keep my stepdad in your thoughts.

he is having quintuple bypass surgery today. apparently he had been feeling chest tightness but didn't know it was related to his heart. he was walking in the yard and almost blacked out, so he took an aspirin. the doctors said that probably caused him to not have a heart attack, and since he didn't have a heart attack, he was healthy enough to go into surgery immediately. he is currently doing well, and should be out of surgery in a couple of hours. he'll be in the hospital until early next week and in recovery at home for an unknown period of time. this weekend i will be doing a couple of interviews and mom didn't want me to postpone my work, so i'll be going home next weekend. that way, not only will i stay on my work schedule, but i'll also be able to visit with him at home (rather than in intensive care) and help mom taking care of him. please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

thank you.

Some interesting items.

Confessions of a Matchmaker: This new A&E reality series follows the attempts of a matchmaker in Buffalo, NY to make the love dreams of the seemingly hopeless come true. Selected quotes: "Look at you; you picked doughnuts over sex," and "You are way gay." Recommended for shit-talkers and embittered singles.


The Painted Veil: This movie stars Naomi Watts and Ed Norton, with a strong supporting role played by Liev Schrieber, Naomi Watts' babydaddy. Set mostly in rural China in the middle of a cholera epidemic in 1925, this film brought memories of the "rice water stool" my former roommate told me about while studying for her M.P.H. Luckily, the story, the acting, and the breathtaking scenery (filmed largely in Guilin, Guangxi in southern China) distracts one from the disturbing images that phrase creates in the mind. The story didn't end as I would have liked, but it worked very well in retrospect. I'd like to read the novel by W. Somerset Maugham. Recommended.


Volver: I had been looking forward to this film for some time. The director, Almodovar, is one I want to like more than I actually like. The actresses do a great job. I found the movie entertaining, but it seemed to move slowly. And yet, the story was very complicated. The images in the film were nice, and again, the actresses gave powerful performances (not just Penelope Cruz). It was strange: at the end of the movie, I was left with several unanswered questions, and yet I found myself not caring very much. Compelling overall, though. Recommended.


Pandora: This is a neat website that will create radio stations based on the music you like. You give it a song or artist and with the help of the "music genome project" Pandora will make a playlist based on characteristics of that song or artist. As it plays more songs, you can continue to provide input, and it will continue to modify accordingly. Highly recommended.


Weeds: I rented the first season of this show and really enjoyed it. Mary Louise Parker does a great job, and although I have some ethical issues around racial portrayals in the show, I recognize the relative impossibility of perfection and think overall the show is a good one. And I love Elizabeth Perkins. I can't wait to see the second season, but I hear it's not quite as good. Season one recommended.


Top Chef Miami: Not nearly as engrossing as the second season, but it only just began, and I think maybe I'm just still worn out from the last season, which was emotionally draining and also highly irritating. It should be pretty interesting though, since the contestants appear to be very talented. Half-heartedly recommended.

Stay tuned for Hollywoodland, The First 48 Hours, Shin Chan, and more!

Nicholas and Susanna and I went to the pool today!

what else bugs me:

i live in a house divided into apartments. i'm the one who gets all the junkmail since i live in apartment one.

swine post office.

i find it amazing

i find it amazing that in one tiny single moment you can do something so consequential, like say something terrible that no one will every forget or forgive (my usual mistake) or even something as menial as put a coffee cup you think is empty into your purse then realize it's not at all empty and now you have ruined everything in your purse, ruined your new purse, and gotten coffee on your pants. it was so brief. can't i have that moment back and NOT do something so careless?

it's these little things that i always do that make me feel like i have no control over my life or anything in it.

melodramatic? yes.
an overstatement? possibly.
a truth that i live with daily? definitely.

charity :)

the significance of 144,000 in marketing religion and real estate.

I saw a commercial today for Century 21. They advertise that there are 144,000 brokers in their firm (all dedicated to listening to me and finding my dream home for me, of course). What struck me is that as a good Seventh-Day Adventist (kind-of), I immediately recognized this as the number of redeemed from the twelve tribes of Israel that appeared to John in his Revelation (that's in the Bible).


(See this website for more.)

My related question is a three-part one:

1) Are they trying to subconsciously sell their services by connecting it to something Christians will be drawn to (even though it does also kind of imply end-times)?

or

2) Is it just a coincidence?

or

3) ARE THEY THE TRUE CHOSEN PEOPLE?

...spooky...

(or lame or blasphemous, considering your perspective).

charity :)

two gross things in my apartment.

max's little tennis ball. can you tell it's her favorite toy? she walks around meowing with it in her mouth.


me working on my dissertation.

i am getting ready to post nikki's photos of canada in my picasa album. mine were lost in the fire i.e. the great computer crash of '06.

peace (chuhch! i'm out this pizzle!)
charity :)

ps-for the link to my picasa album look in the sidebar to the right. because of my gmail problems (see below) it is too complicated to log on and copy the address for you. sorry. blame google.

Picasa Web Album

I just wanted to let you guys know that I opened a Picasa account. You can see my public albums by clicking on this link. Pictures from Las Vegas are there.

Here's one of me with Olivia the sweet:



charity :)

if i've seen a stranger looking picture of me, i can't remember it.

Haha! I was working with my Dad in his jewelry making workshop when he took this picture of me. It's from his Picasa album (December 2006). I think at the time I was trying desperately and uselessly to flatten a piece of copper. It's harder than you might think...

I'm listening to the Weeds soundtrack (Volume 2) on Napster. Has anyone seen that show? I've heard it's good. I don't know. But the soundtrack is pretty good (Volume 2, at least).

charity :)

they may rule the world, but they'll never rule me!

Now that Google owns everything, you'd think the integration between all their entities would be more seamless. I have been trying to figure out for hours (I'm at work, so it's ok to waste time) how to switch ownership of this blog to my Gmail account, and I have discovered that "surprise, surprise, surprise (!!)" I am not an idiot (in this particular instance). It is actually not possible. In order to switch ownership of my blog to my Gmail account, I would have to create a new blog, then move the whole thing piece by piece over to that account, a long and tedious process that through switching names and URLs might cause the 3 readers (Hi Daddy, Nikki, and Harry, maybe?) to not be able to find it anymore. Geez.

If you have a blogger account, will you kindly ask them on the wish list to please enable users to switch blog ownership? As far as I can tell, my blog will be deleted when my school account is deleted upon graduation/termination of my graduate school career. And, from the number of questions in the Blogger Help Group dealing with this topic, many others are frustrated by this as well. Apparently you could do it in the older version of Blogger.

I went to Las Vegas last weekend, and as soon as I get home I'll post a few pictures. I had a really nice time. I want to open a Picasa web account to post my photos, but that's through Gmail, and it just reminds me of all the frustration. Wouldn't it be neat if they were all on my stupid Gmail account? Argh.

In summary, I feel this way when I think of Google:

let's dance!

charity :)

a brief update on my life...

fun stuff:
i got a haircut!
i'm going to las vegas wednesday for nikki's birthday!
becky came back to jazzercise after some physical therapy!
i started hot yoga again!

not so much fun:
ben and i broke up.
i realized one of my hips is bigger than the other.
my dissertation is making me feel utterly miserable.
i can't get my flat iron to make my hair look this good.

on the bright side,
my hair looks nice anyway! also, i decided i am going to try to get in shape by the time i turn thirty. i think it will make me feel better if i can take control of my eating and exercise, and make some progress on my dissertation. and the office season finale was really cute.



closing thoughts from married to the sea:


(i try to remember)
charity :)

ps. paris.

did you see that paris hilton got 45 days in jail? her "shocked and disappointed" lawyer had this response:

"To sentence Paris Hilton to jail is uncalled for, inappropriate and ludicrous. She was singled out for who she is. She's been selectively targeted. Paris was honest in her testimony. We plan to appeal. Shame on the system." (source)

I like how he calls her "Paris Hilton" like she's not a person, she's an image, a persona. And why is it so uncalled for? Shit, she broke about 16 laws in three months. Shame on the system for doing what it says it will do? For not giving special treatment to celebrities? He says she should have gotten away with it because she was honest in her testimony; so if i got arrested i should be able toget out of it by saying,

"I never would've been driving if my license was suspended. [Even though that's exactly how she violated her parole.] I follow the law. I'm followed by cameras every single day... I respect the law.... I want you to know I'm very sorry and will pay complete attention to everything from now on." (source)

i'll keep that in mind.

poor dear. although, actually, since she's not poor, she might not have to serve it anyway, like michelle rodriguez and her 60 days, i mean 2 hours. (source).

nature fight!

(my favorite webcomic is married to the sea.)
(unfortunately i can't go outside; i am stuck at the computer because i have a draft of the dissertation due today, so i've got to bust my butt to finish it.)
(maybe later...)
charity :)

sad news.

thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. my aunt died monday night and i went up to asheville yesterday for the funeral.

my mom told me she'd buy a spot for me there in the cemetary, next to my grandma and grandpa and aunt. and i guess my mom. my stepdad wants to have his ashes scattered in the ocean or the ozarks or something.

one of my favorite card games as a child was "old maid." i guess i always knew.

death, dying, and decay.

In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Benjamin Franklin

I don't have to do nothin' but stay black and die!
Mogan Freeman as Joe Clark in Lean on Me

Seen on the highway: a phone book, swollen with dried rainwater.

Seen on the highway: several dozen used brown loafers, strewn in the space between the highway and an off-ramp.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw a deer on the side of the highway, right next to the fast lane. It was lying on its side, its head facing back towards oncoming traffic, its feet inches away from the divider in the center of the highway. It had been hit by a car, I guess. I immediately thought of how terrifying its last few moments must have been. Fleeing the suburbs, it had darted into the highway, realizing too late the danger, face-to-face with three lanes of oncoming traffic. Panicked, it probably kept running, hoping to get to safety, finding only a 6 foot concrete wall. It never had a chance.

Two days later I drove by again, and it was still there. The next week, it was still there. In the first days after it happened, the deer began swelling up, but by the time I drove by the next week, hoping it would be gone, it had become only a shell of what it had once been.

Yesterday, it was gone. Someone must have picked it up. I wonder, was it animal control? Waste management? Who takes care of dead things?

My ex-boyfriend grew up on a sheep farm. They had to dump their own trash, and he told me of the massive bins where the farmers dumped their refuse: separate bins for household rubbish, broken appliances, yard waste. He told me all the bins were marked by diamond-shaped yellow signs, like you might see on the highway. There was one with an upside-down cow on it. For dead livestock. At the time I was mortified, and fascinated.

I guess I still feel that way about death. Like, it's just evidence of the passing of time, a perfectly logical and normal "next step" (and last step, I suppose): the end of a road everyone walks down. At the same time, it is something that should be marked, and not ignored, or left to rot on the side of the road. Those videos taken by people who "liberated" concentration camps in WW2, where there were so many bodies they had to be bulldozed, people's arms and legs sticking out at unnatural angles, rolling over each other, piling up so high. It's probably the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. Obviously, genocide is terrible. But also, the bodies have lost their identities. The mass of bodies, rotting into one another; it just seems so disrespectful.

I don't know why all those bodies weren't cremated like the bodies of so many people who died in concentration camps. Wikipedia states that many Jews even today have a negative opinion of cremation (it's also against Orthodox Jewish beliefs in the ways dead bodies should be handled). The remains of the 12 German war criminals convicted in the Nuremburg trials were cremated and spread in secret locations, to prevent the building of a memorial to them.

I always wanted to be cremated. I felt repulsed imagining bugs crawling through my head. Then I found out that when you are cremated, sometimes they have to turn over what's left of your body to make sure it gets totally incinerated. I know I'll be dead then, and it won't really matter, but I can't help but imagine myself, in a giant oven, being turned over, my limbs half gone, moving in unnatural ways, and I don't like it. Then I think about embalmers emptying the blood out of my body and filling me with chemicals, and I don't know what I want.

I'm not one who wants to pretend death doesn't exist, or that I can somehow avoid it. There is a middle ground between letting someone rot on the side of the road and dressing a body up, preserving it for the future. In a way I feel like that's just a way to pretend the person hasn't actually died, that nothing has changed. Really, the only thing in that person's future as far as we know is getting buried.

Death is not something terrible and awful (although the situations surrounding it can be), it just is what it is. It still should be marked, I think, like a rite of passage, a graduation of sorts. I just don't know why we have to handle it in such bizarre ways.

(I wonder what they did with the deer?)

see you in the mountains!

This weekend was my dad's birthday. Happy birthday! Also, I went up to Merlefest with my stepdad. My mom came briefly, but then a family emergency took us (makes it sound like we didn't actually have to do the driving all through the night on Saturday, but we did) to Asheville.

(Please pray for my aunt, who is in the hospital with pneumonia, and my mom, who is probably at the hospital right now with her. Thanks.)

In the meantime, here are some pictures taken at Merlefest pre-emergency. I did not take pictures of Elvis Costello, but he sure did a great job (still seems strange that he was playing an Americana/Bluegrass festival, but they try to mix it up a little, I guess. And he played two songs he wrote, one of which he played with George Jones, I think, and the other was recorded by Johnny Cash, so I guess he wasn't too far off the mark playing that festival). I also didn't take pictures of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, but they were good, too.

I wish I had remembered to take pictures of Asheville, too. I can't wait to move back home so I'll be with my family more, and also so I'll be in North Carolina full-time again (the BEST STATE in the WHOLE DAMN UNION).

charity ;)


leaving atlanta.


although the sky was heavy with clouds at times, we never got rain. (how beautiful is north carolina?!)

my new favorite band, Uncle Earl (playing with Bela Fleck).

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?

I got to this quiz from my cousine Erin's MySpace page. She was lucky enough to be Nicola Tesla. I, of course, am the mad French king who wets himself.


Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

portland 4: what else did we do?

well, also i got the new be good tanyas album, hello, love. i really like it. plus they're pretty (see below). and canadian.



also, ben and i went to see zodiac, starring a whole list of good people (chloe sevingny, mark ruffalo, robert downey, jr., and jake gyllenhal-see below) and directed by david fincher. i recommend it.



also, i read one of the funniest film reviews ever in the Portland Mercury, for the movie 300. you should read it here if you get a chance. very funny.

in addition to the stuff i've already mentioned, we ate at a restaurant in chinatown and the waitress hated us worse than if we had forced her to watch 300 and write a paper on it. we also went shopping for novelty items and funny toys and t-shirts in southeast portland (of course, i couldn't buy anything, but it was fun to look), we went to powell's which is bigger than you think, we walked across the st. john's bridge (okay, halfway across-it was really scary!), we went to the oregon museum of science and industry where ben works, we ate some carrots and easter candy, we ate delicious waffles from a funny waffle stand in a parking lot, and i met several nice people and one nice baby. overall, i had a great time.

of course, i'm already starting my list for things i want to do next time. the japanese garden, the international rose test garden, the zoo, the columbia river gorge (that's a dream item, since you can't get there on public transportation), and so much more!!

maybe someday i'll be able to get a job there. or build up my nerves and savings enough to move there and THEN get a job. (although the thought of that terrifies me a little bit...)

charity :)

portland 3: portland classical chinese garden

above: cheesy off-center through-the-doorway shot. it seemed like a good idea at the time, and still i'm drawn to it. but it does seem almost unacceptably cheesy and off-center still.



above: i modified this photo a little. i don't know why the sky is white. i guess i thought if i bought a fancy enough camera i wouldn't have to solve my own photographic problems. "little did she know..." (from stranger than fiction) so anyway, in adjusting it i increased the sharpness and the color saturation, and i like it. the sky is still white though. oh well. :)



above: ben took this. he's tall, and better situated to seeing and appreciating the beauty in a few roofs. rooves. a roof and another roof and then another roof...

portland 2: images from mt. tabor park

mt. hood is in the background in the photo above, but you can't really make it out. i tried to adjust the exposure but then i lost the leaves on the trees in the foreground and didn't gain much in the way of mt. hood visibility, so i left it alone.

the photo above was the view from a park bench at the top of "mt. tabor", a small former volcano (i think). it's now one of the lovely city parks in portland. there are trails all over it for biking and running, or just strolling with the kids. there was also a basketball court tucked into the side of the little city mountain, with a bordering cliff of mud protecting it from the wind. we went on a sunny day and there were people everywhere (it was also sunday afternoon).

in the nice weather people flock outside to enjoy in portland: everyone was so happy and it was so beautiful, it was easy to be in a good mood. ben and i had walked a long way to get there, through CUTE little neighborhoods with EXTREMELY overpriced real estate. we were very lucky to have such a beautiful day when i first arrived. it almost made up for the drizzle every other day. just kidding, the drizzle wasn't actually so bad. even that usually cleared up at some point throughout the day. it rains every day on maui, too, you know. it keeps everything so lush and green.

i wish i could see the tree below in the summer time. i'll bet it makes a lovely shade tree. i can't wait to go back.

portland 1: me and ben in mt. tabor park

me...

...and ben...


and me and ben!
(in mt. tabor park)

why am i paying so much for gas again??

from New York Times.

Exxon Sets Record on Annual Profits
By CLIFFORD KRAUSS

HOUSTON, Feb. 1 — Exxon Mobil reported a record annual profit on Thursday but a modest decline in fourth-quarter earnings because of falling oil and gas prices. Meanwhile, its competitor Royal Dutch Shell reported an unexpected rise in quarterly earnings, a sign that the industry is still going strong.

The results followed reports by other energy companies in recent days that said easing commodity prices, declining refining and chemical earnings, rising steel and labor costs and higher royalties and taxes had hurt their bottom lines somewhat.

But the shortfalls at all the major companies, including Occidental, ConocoPhillips and Hess, have come after record or near-record previous quarters. With oil and gas prices on the upswing again in recent days, few analysts think the bonanza of profits that energy companies have enjoyed in recent years will end anytime soon.

Exxon, the world’s largest publicly traded oil company, reported profit of $10.3 billion in the fourth quarter. That represented a decline of 4.3 percent from its record profit in the fourth quarter of 2005 and was Exxon’s first quarterly decline in almost three years.

But for the year, Exxon’s profit rose 9 percent from 2005 results to a record of $39.5 billion, the largest annual profit ever for an American company.

Oil prices for the quarter ranged between $55 and $63 a barrel, averaging just shy of $60. That represented a 15 percent decline from the third quarter and was less than 1 percent lower than the fourth quarter of 2005.

Shell reported a profit $5.28 billion, a 21 percent rise from the fourth quarter of 2005. Shell’s annual income of $25.4 billion was also a record.

Production rose 4.1 percent to 3.65 million barrels of oil a day in the fourth quarter.

Oil prices in 2006 averaged $66, $10 higher than the year before, according to a recent Citigroup report on the energy industry. Oil prices reached a high of $77 in July, but they have declined to the low-to-mid $50s due to generally warm weather and the perception of easing tensions in much of Middle East since then.

Natural gas prices declined through much of the year from their peak following the exceptionally active hurricane season in 2005. But they have remained historically high despite the unseasonably warm winter in much of the country.

Henry Hub natural gas prices averaged $6.3 per million cubic feet in the latest quarter, down 46 percent from the fourth quarter in 2005.



and what ever happened to The End of Suburbia? aren't we supposed to be running out of gas?

myspace quiz number 1,896,373.

1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
probably mom over christmas break.

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
i would definitely apply for excemption as a conscientious objector. if i ended up in battle, i think i would sacrifice myself for my unit by throwing myself on a grenade just because it would be easier than shooting someone.

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
not milk. it gets that crusty stuff on the top. i drink out of juice containers regularly though. don't drink beverages from my refrigerator unless i offer them, just to be safe.

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
i can't remember ever being IN a spelling bee.

7. How fast can you type?
faster than average, probably, but not too fast.

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
not usually, but sometimes.

9. Eye color?
hazel.

11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower? Since my apartment doesn't i like baths for different reasons that showers. baths are just to rest and relax, not to get clean. showers are for cleaning and waking me up.


(bathtub carved out of solid marble)

12. Do you knock on wood?
not usually. sometimes. i'm pretty superstitious.

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
i have been sipping a glass of red wine.

15. Can you hoola hoop?
isn't it "hula"?

16. Are you good at keeping secrets?
i don't like keeping secrets, but if necessary, i can do it.

18. Do you know the Muffin man?
who lives down drury lane?

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
i think so. i've never heard myself though, so i can't know for sure.

20. Who wrote the book of love?
not sure. i've obviously never read it. i have, however, read the history of love, by nicole krauss. now that was a good book.

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
oh, childhood. good times. much better times than reading the book the kite runner, which pretty much just made me want to give up on life.

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
oh my god. do you know me at all?


from this website.

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
i don't know- 10 to 20 maybe? i usually delete people i don't call.

25. Have you ever asked for a pony?
no. i secretly wanted one, though.

26. Plans for tomorrow?
teaching, writing, driving. just another day!

28. Missing someone now?
i miss ben, who recently moved to portland and is my boyfriend. i miss michelle, who a few years ago moved to maryland. i miss nikki, who some time ago moved to las vegas. i miss other people, but i'll just stop now.

29. When was the last time you told someone 'I love you'?
a few hours ago.

31. How are you feeling today?
pretty good. i went to a really fun coffee shop that i had never been to. then i left my favorite hat at the table when i switched out of the sun, but someone was kind enough to return it to the counter, so i got it back. and tonight is the finale of top chef. i'm not really excited to see it. but i am excited to finally be getting this monkey off my back.

32. Are you black?
no comment.

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
not that i remember. i'm pretty sure i would remember. seems like i had in-school suspension once, but i can't really remember.

34. What are you looking forward to?
graduating. getting a job. paying off my student loans.

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes.

37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
no. my friend told me this really sad story. her friend worked at a food bank or something and told her about all these poor little old ladies who didn't have enough money for food, who were surviving on dog and cat food. she told me that dog food is actually not bad for you, and if you can't afford food or something, dog food is what you should try to get; it's more nourishing and balanced than other things, and will keep off scurvy.


yum, dog food...

38. Can you handle the truth?
did you read the answer to the previous question?

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
i don't usually like eggs very much. and i don't eat ham.

40. What 3 things do you always bring w/ you to places?
usually my glasses and three specific rings i usually wear (that's either 2 things or 4 things, so i'll just leave it at that).

41. Any cool scars?
define "cool".

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone? Do they know?
does it still count as a crush if you are in a relationship?

43. How many kids do you plan on having?
hopefully 2 or more. but it really depends on many things. like, will i ever get a job, for instance?

44. What do you do when no one is watching?
watch top chef (not after tonight!!) and law and order: criminal intent.

45. Have you ever been in love?
i used to say "unfortunately" but now i say "luckily".

46. Do you talk to yourself?
YES. even when there are people around. it's kind of embarassing.

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
a job. hopefully i'll get one eventually, though.

48. Three things about the preferred sex that you first notice?
how they carry themselves, hairstyle, smile.


"How to Carry Yourself With the Body Language of an Alpha Male"

49. Who are you thinking about right now?
i was thinking about when i first met ben.

50. Who did you last hug?
hmm. barret, maybe? or michael. i saw them last i think.

51. Where is your phone?
i don't know. in my bag, maybe? :)

52. What was the last thing you ate?
yummy noodles and pasta sauce.

54. Favorite Color?
indigo. i wanted to say aqua or something to see if you guys would notice, since it seems like every survey asks my favorite color.

55. What is the last movie watched?
the departed last weekend. that movie was amazing. i wanted to write a blog entry about it. maybe i still will.

56. What song do you currently hear?
no music.

57. What do you want?
a job. or even, to be able to start applying for jobs.

58. Would you ever date anyone on your friends list?
well, my sweet boyfriend is on my myspace friends list.

59. What TV show are you watching?
top chef. i'm not really watching, though, just waiting for the finale to come on.

60. When was the last time you kissed someone?
i kissed my mom when i went home for christmas. does that count?

how can i not post this?

(please stop her...)

in case you were wondering... (sidney poitier, top chef)

borders books and more just emailed me to let me know that oprah has announced her newest book club selection: the measure of a man, a spritual autobiography of sidney poitier.

(just in case you were waiting to be told which book you should buy next.)

i have to admit i think reading sidney poitier's autobiography does interest me quite a bit, although i'm unsure how a "spiritual autobiography" would differ from other autobiographies i've read.


[by the way:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963]

another thing that interests me is that on the internet borders has "teamed up" with amazon.com to provide us with the invaluable service of letting us buy shit we don't need any time we feel the urge, from the comfort of our homes. but here's the thing: books are cheaper on amazon.com so why should i ever go to borders? i am having such a hard time right now with big business.

i have been doing some soul-searching about top chef, too, you guys. i don't know, i'm feeling pretty upset about it.

(gross...)

(on a side note, i found out that the co-host, padma lakshi,
is married to salman rushdie...)

in addition to heavy commercials for these products during breaks in the show, there are also immeasurable, almost ridiculously gratuitous product placements:

1) series sponsor: toyota (RAV-4)/gratuitous shots of the cars with toyota logos, they are always going places in it and saying "now get in your rav-4s and..." or "when we got out of the rav-4s we saw..."

2) series sponsor: sears-kenmore (PRO-kitchen)/giving it out as a prize, the furnished the kitchen where they have most of their challenges, "ok, guys, you have three hours in the kenmore kitchen..."


(bye, elia)
3) series sponsor: glad/furnishers of the cash prize, gratuitous shots of the would-be top chefs sealing food in gladware products, "you have three hours to prep in the kenmore kitchen, then put everything in your gladware and ..."

4) series sponsor(?): food and wine/one of their editors is a judge, the winner gets a write-up in the magazine and to come to the "food and wine classic in aspen"

5) series sponsor(?): calphalon cookware/"you have access to this calphalon cookware and anything else in the pantry"

5) kraft/"kraft snack quickfire challenge" in which the chefs have to use either kraft italian dressing, kraft mayonnaise, or kraft barbeque sauce

6) bailey's/"bailey's quickfire challenge" in which the chefs have to use bailey's original or new bailey's caramel or mint to make a drink

7) tgi-friday's/"tgi-friday's new twist on a childhood favorite elimination challenge"

etc. etc. etc.

plsu they don't have to pay the actors anything, and the judges get publicity for their books and restaurants. bravo probably made more money off that than nbc made off the last season of friends.

maybe i just won't watch it next week. i don't like being toyed with. (and also, since sam and elia got kicked off, who cares who wins...)

charity :)


bye, sammmmmmmm....

"reality" tv vs. quality programming

ok, so i don't have time to write in my blog today but i felt compelled to do so. and i don't think it will take long.



last night i finished watching "wonderfalls", another short-lived FOX project. i doubt if many of you (um, is anyone even reading this?) have seen it unless you have specifically sought it out. apparently it only aired 4 times, 3 times on friday night (the worst night for watching tv) and the last time on thursday (the most competitive). it never had a chance. it was like omar epps' underdog character in the boxing movie "against the ropes" (2004) with no obnoxiously-accented meg ryan to pump it up so it could come back and claim the middleweight boxing championship (sorry, it came on last week).



it makes me so sad. i watch these television programs like wonderfalls and arrested development and i think "there are some talented people out there-producers, writers, actors, etc.-surely there's something decent on television. i mean, if they cancelled this the ones still on must be awesome." and yet, it seems there is never anything good on. i mean, people like the office, and i'm glad that's on but the only reason it was given a chance is because of the success of the British one.



bielby and bielby (2003) argue that network programmers use several strategies to minimize risk in their organizational environment. (is that jargon? i can't tell anymore.) specifically, tv is a dangerous place to be for organizations; they have to put out all these shows but they have no idea which will work better, which will make them money, etc. so they rely on several strategies. one of these is the use of familiar and popular actors, writers, producers, and genres. this would explain why we have BS show after BS show premised on the idea of a dopey obnoxious working class guy in the northeast married to a skinny, backtalking, smart and sarcastic cutie-pie little wife (please don't make me list examples). now, i would say maybe all these shows are a imitation/bastardization of roseanne, which i think was pretty good (of course, i was in elementary and middle school when i watched it). the others are pale, stupid imitations that should never have been made. sorry, i feel strongly about this.

so the thing that concerns me is that not only do we have all the kings of queens, but we also have all the insipid nauseating reality tv shows. one of my former roommates knew this guy who made a living off coming up with lame reality tv show ideas, making pilots, and selling them to network programmers. i was floored. seriously? he can't be the mastermind behind this whole fad, there must be tons of them! i mean, i love top chef as much as the next person. okokok i love top chef more than anyone i know, but come on! how many times do people really want to watch survivor? (survivor is actually quite interesting, since it seems to have inspired a popular television drama, lost). how many times do people want to watch the bachelor and all of its progeny?



for network programmers, though, why should they invest all the time and money into making quality tv shows that may or may not succeed, when they can invest very little time and very little money in a show that seems likely to succeed (reality tv)? (bielby and bielby also found that these strategies didn't guarantee success, so they're not even effective anyway...)

i am afraid, you see, that we are stuck in a (useless) downward spiral of bad tv: with sitcoms that all look the same and sound the same, and dramas that all look the same (how many law and orders do we need? i personally think we would be fine with just vincent d'onofrio's). there are a few exceptions, but the trend really does frustrate me.

what's worse, instead of coming up with new interesting ideas when ratings slump, the shows seem to include more sex, more skin, more trash, more violence, more drugs, more incest, more rape, more bad language etc. i'm not saying i think censorship should be the answer. but how about programming that attracts people coz it's good? rather that coz it's nasty or taboo? are people that stupid and trashy? or is it that we have no more options? do people actually like the show yes, dear?



the reason this came up was because after finishing wonderfalls last night and mourning the fact that it is dead forever despite being brilliant, i opened up daily variety today and apparently FOX is offering us a new reality program. please, permit me to quote:



Fox has pacted with the producers of "Joe Millionaire" and "Temptation Island" for a reality skein that might best be described as "Desperate Housewives: The Revenge."

Lensing has just begun on the 11-episode skein, whose working title is "When Women Rule The World."...

Fox reality guru Mike Darnell [Faust], who's overseeing the project for the net, said the premise behind the show is simple: "You take 12 attractive women who feel like it's still a man's world and who think they've hit a glasss ceiling, and you give them their own society to run. Then you take 12 macho, chauvenistic guys who also think men rule the world and see how they survive in a world where they're literally manservants....They'll have to obey every command from the women."

i. have. no. words.

what the cats have been up to lately.

i made sam and max a foraging toy, at the recommendation of the experts in Cat Fancy magazine. i think people are inclined to think about pets as roommates, or something, but they are actually little hunters, and have natural predatory instincts. outdoor cats, like cats in the wild, are able to spend much of their time hunting, which keeps their brain occupied and their instincts active. indoor cats, on the other hand, get bored indoors, and restless. sometimes they feel the urge to hunt, but since most indoor cats have relatively few things to actually "hunt" indoors, this usually results in more time eating, thus many indoor cats are overweight. one way to encourage them to exercise, and to give them some other way to respond to this hunting impulse besides stuffing their faces, is to make foraging toys for them.

since sam is naturally very active and inquisitive, and since max is naturally very hungry and currently overweight, i thought i would try it. i took a paper towel roll and cut holes slightly larger than their food in it. i poured a bit of their normal food in the roll and stuffed little drinking cups in the ends. at first, sam and max were not really interested in it, but now they love it! when it is empty, they will push it around with their paws and/or sit by it, looking sideways up at me, waiting for me to fill it. i especially make sure it is full at night (they stay in the living room at night) so they have something to do (ben made so much fun of me when i told him i was going to post this, by the way. i know it's dorky, but anyone who reads this blog knows my cats are my babies). this is a link to an excerpt of the cat fancy story, and here is another intresting story relevant to the topic. below is a picture of max with her new "toy".



ben sent me an octopus before he moved to portland. i sleep with it at night, but wake up scared of it.he knows i am scared of them, but i think this was his way of trying to help me overcome. anyway, sam also likes it.



the dynamic duo:



charity :)