I watched it some time ago with my good friend Michael, who sent me this email:
Date: Fri, 24 Aug 2007 11:10:12 -0400 [08/24/07 11:10AM edt]
From: Michael E.
To: Crabtree Charity
Subject: An overdue obituary
Here Lies Quint.
He was the saltiest of seaman who harbored a death wish, an unfortunate grudge against sharks, and a love for Spanish, bow-legged women.
R.I.P.
------------
Quint: Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
Mayor Vaughn: Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.
------------
Good old hilarious Michael.
No comments:
Post a Comment