lifestyles of the thirties

I just watched Year of the Dog. It was very good. And now I want a dog. Very badly (but not fifteen of them). I liked the ending. And the rest of it. A very interesting love story. I remember now why I wanted to see it in the theater so much, and also why I wanted to see it alone. Recommended.

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I was just thinking this evening about something several people told me before I turned thirty. They said, "You know, the thirties were/have been great! You get so much done, and you don't have to worry about the bullshit from your twenties. It is a time of reevaluating and finding what makes you happy/complete/etc and then really making it happen. I love(d) my thirties."

I just realized why this must be the case for so many people.

It's because when people turn thirty, because it's some socially constructed (and culturally specific) "milestone," I think they must commonly look around themselves and think: "Oh my god, where is X and why am I doing Y since it makes me miserable? I was after Z so how did I end up here?" Then, feeling desperate, they start on a "search and attain" mission, thus finding what makes them happy/complete/etc and then really making it happen - out of desperation if nothing more.

And maybe they also realize that their twenties were filled with insecurity and doing what they thought they should, or going after what they thought they were supposed to want, and by the time they reached thirty, they realized that maybe the things they wanted weren't the things everyone else wants. So again, out of desperation among other things, they reevaluate their lives and goals.

So even though this mythical "thirty" is making me feel like an utter failure because of all the things I have not yet accomplished, I see it as a good (albeit difficult) thing, because it's also as a result making me reevaluate all the accomplishments I thought I wanted. At this point, I want to try to stop doing what I feel people expect of me or giving people what I think they want from me, and I just want to find out what makes me happy and single-mindedly go for that.

I honestly don't know what compels me or what I could possibly achieve that would make me feel satisfied and complete. This to me seems like a question that needs an immediate answer.

So, wish me luck, I guess!

...I also was told that the thirties are "the new twenties," and if that's true I'm pretty much screwed for another decade it would seem.

charity :)