i get depressed when i can't control things in my life. it makes me feel bad about myself. i internalize, since i think i should be able to control them. when things go wrong i take it personally, which really reflects a pretty high opinion of myself, in quite a twisted way, doesn't it? like, "i should be able to control [x] but something went wrong. therefore i'm not a good person." when the truth is, if i didn't think it was within the realm of possibility for me to control every little thing, maybe i wouldn't get so torn up about it when things didn't go my way...
just an interesting realization i thought i'd share.
with total strangers.
because i can.
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