survey for fun

1. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A MEMBER OF MYSPACE?
not long enough to justify the number of hours i've been on here

2. WOULD YOU EVER TELL YOUR DAD THAT YOU HAVE SEX?
i can't imagine it would ever come up in conversation. my mom and i talk about it all the time, however.

3. DOES YOUR MOM SMOKE?
no. she cried when she found out i was smoking in college. literally, she cried. like when i got my first tattoo. she also burst into tears then. my poor mom. why do i torment her so with my rebelliousness?

4. WHO'S PROFILE DO YOU LIKE THE MOST ON MYSPACE?
your mom's

5. ARE YOU ASHAMED OF HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH?
no, and frankly, i do not approve of the tone of this question. or its grammar.

6. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY CAR WHAT WOULD IT BE?
probably a mercedes SL roadster. a new one, and shiny. black probably. or silver. i was behind one the other day and i almost had a wreck coz i couldn't keep my eyes off of it. it was in front of me and we both turned left. then it took off in a cloud of daisies and butterflies, and a choir of angels sang praises in its wake. i snapped out of it.

8. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY?
in some ways. in others, not so much.

9. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?
29 i think. i keep forgetting. i started describing myself as "almost thirty" a few years back. it's simpler.

10. ARE YOU A LIKEABLE PERSON?
no, i don't think so. i'm very moody and apparently disagreeable most times. i alternate between manic and depressed others. oh, wait, am i supposed to be impression managing now? whatever, Liz and Alison know how crazy i am and they're probably the only ones that will read this.

11. WOULD YOU PREFER FRIENDS THAT ARE GIRLS OR GUYS?
no offense Liz and Alison, but i prefer guys. girls scare me.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO ON A TUESDAY NIGHT?
uh, tuesday? i usually retire early coz i work early wed mornings.

13. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?
yes, very much. but i'm also kind of fond of the fear.

14. WHICH WOULD YOU LIKE BEST: A DIAMOND RING OR A DIAMOND BRACELET?
a ring. i don't usually wear bracelets.

15. WHAT IS THE MOST PAINFUL THING THAT YOU'VE EVER EXPERIENCED?
when i got my arm eaten off by a giant octopus. at the same time, a crab bit my toe. the only reason i got away was coz the octopus turned on the crab, its favorite prey. apparently i'm nothing compared to that shizznit.

16. WHAT IS ONE THING THAT YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
love

17. WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOUR GLASS IS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
i never got a glass. were they handing out glasses??

18. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A GRAVE WHERE SOMEONE WAS BURIED?
no, i don't think so. i don't like to think of people as trapped there. it creeps me out big time. the body is just organic matter. the person is somewhere else. when i was little i was very afraid of the second coming of jesus coz "the dead in christ shall rise" and i was scared it would be like night of the living dead jesus.

19. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT TO THE DOCTOR?
about a month ago i think

20. THE DAY YOU GET MARRIED WHO WILL BE YOUR BEST MAN/ MAID OF HONOR?
by the time i get married, i'm sure i won't know any more "maids" and hopefully the best man will be my husband. unless it's a lesbian wedding, in which case i think i would ask zane to be my best man.

21. DO YOU PREFER SHOES, SOCKS, OR BARE FEET?
it depends on what i'm doing

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE SEX WITH ONE PERSON ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST WHO WOULD IT BE?
your mom. oh wait, been there, done that!!

23. IF YOU COULD'VE GROWN UP DURING ANOTHER TIME WHEN WOULD IT HAVE BEEN?
i think i'm good. i mean, i would love to have grown up when my grandmothers did, but then you have to remember the depression, 2 world wars, the kkk, the holocaust, women as property and a racial caste system even more entrenched than today, so... maybe the 50s so i could have been around and protesting in the 60s. it would have been great to have felt like we were actually going to be able to change the world and make it a better place. and also all the free love and beatniks.

24. IF YOU COULD CHANGE YOUR NAME WHAT WOULD IT BE?
guiseppe. stupid question. i would keep it the same.

25. WHO IN YOUR FAMILY DO YOU ACT THE MOST LIKE?
maybe my dad, which is extremely ironic.

26. WOULD YOU WEAR YOUR PJ'S ALL THE TIME IF YOU COULD?
no, i would wear workout clothes though. i do love the spandex.

27. IF MARY JANE WAS LEGAL WOULD YOU SMOKE IT?
who's that? jk.

28. WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF: A SOCIAL DRINKER, DRUNK, OR A NON DRINKER?
lolololol. a drunk, mos def. if only so i can say "i'm a drunk." it sounds kinda like extreme southern dialect, too "i'ma drunk..." try it.

29. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR EX?
geez, which one? most recent: a big, old, beanie baby. collecting dust. but cute, and relatively funny.

30. WHEN YOU GO TO A BAR DO YOU TRY TO GET FREE DRINKS?
no. nobody ever buys me drinks. i mean, i'll take them if they're being given away though (i'ma drunk)

31. DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?
which one? no.

32. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO WORK MOST OFTEN?
which job? i'd say business casual in general.

33. ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO BAD BOYS/GIRLS, COWBOYS/ COWGIRLS, OR DORKS?
yes

34. WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?
duh, i'm filling out this stupid survey!

35. HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM?
usually once maybe, i'll call a friend or family member and we say it

36. IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
the outskirts of london. i would say new zealand but they're having some weather issues i hear.

37. WHEN YOU NEED SOME ALONE TIME WHERE DO YOU GO?
to the gym

38. WHAT ALL HAVE YOU EATEN TODAY?
doritos (SHUT UP), a bowl of cereal, some noodle soup, a salad and cinnamon pretzels, some soynuts

40. WHO DO YOU THINK WILL DO THIS SURVEY?
Alison maybe. oh, and your mom.