Survey says!

I am drinking a coke. Yes, caffeine, high fructose corn syrup, pure sugar calories. And you know what? It's delicious.

I weighed myself this morning and have lost five pounds since I started working out and watching what I eat. Yay! I swear I thought I was living in the twilight zone because nothing I did seemed to make a difference. Until today! Yesterday I did yoga when I got home from work, and then went to the gym and walked on a treadmill and climbed on the stairmaster. When I got home I made spaghetti and put some not-chicken nuggets on it. YUM!

When I came home, I watched LOST. Awesome. I think I'm going to end up buying the whole series someday. I just love it. I especially love this whole "no more questions; only answers" approach, because now as I'm watching I'm realizing that there were so many questions I had forgotten most of them! Thus, I want to go back and watch earlier episodes to catch up on the questions!

I have been stressed out as heck this week - for one reason after another, I really don't want to go into it right now - so Sanks suggested last night that this weekend become, officially, "Happy Happy Joy Joy Weekend o-10" (I actually came up with the title, but the ideas were mostly his). We're going go-karting, and video-arcading, and maybe even batting-caging! I have a lot of work to do, too, so while I'm doing that, he will go skeet shooting with his friends. I know he's excited because we'll be spending time with his friends, and he has been frustrated that he feels obligated to divide his time between me and them, rather than spending time with us together. I'm actually excited about it, too, since his friends are really fun! They just are usually doing stuff like travelling (which I can't afford), clubbing (which I hate and can't afford) or going to house parties (which I hate). So now he has stumbled upon something we all like!! Yay, Sanks!

I really love Tuesdays now. I have made it my official "Relaxation Weeknight o-10." I am always at the theatre Mondays and Wednesdays, frequently at the theatre on Thursdays, and sometimes on Friday and/or Saturdays. So yeah, I really love Tuesday nights.

Oh, and last night Ricky Gervais was on The Daily Show to talk about his new HBO show, The Ricky Gervais Show. I watched the first episode of the show and was soooooooooo excited. It's an animated version of the very fist podcast - the first episode of the first season - of his show with Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington.

Hilarious! (Image from the HBO website)

And yes, the title of this blog IS meaningless.
Charity

My next project?

So, I'm trying to decide whether and where and when to take acting classes. It is something I would very much like to do, so I guess "whether" isn't really part of the question, but the others are serious questions needing serious answers.

Also, I watched Wink and a Smile yesterday, and now I want to take Burlesque lessons, too. I honestly feel like someday I will finally have learned most of what I want to learn, performance-wise. I'm excited to be in the "performance" mode now. I missed being on stage and am totally enjoying it. Maybe I WILL take belly dancing lessons someday!!

Here's the video I want:



Awesome! I think I need more make-up though.

Attitude adjustment.

Ok, so I MAY have an attitude problem today. That MAY have been lingering since Monday.

It's not good, because I have a show tonight. I need to get my head in the game, and quit, um, having my head not in the game.

It's just, I had a terrible experience with improv Monday night, which I catalogued in my Improv Blog, and then last night I worked with some folks on a game I struggle with: Repeat Scene. These two things did not really combine to make me feel that "I can DO this!!" feeling that I normally have about improv. So now, I'm not so much nervous as anxious about tonight.

And also, my head shots won't come in the mail until tomorrow.

Blegh.

(See how I need to get out of this funk?!?!)

Trying to get happy!

For Kimberly.

Unmentionable

I am depressed. Actually, not really depressed so much as filled with seething, inexplicable rage.

I don't know why. This is one of those days where I wished there was an "Answer Key" to my life and I could consult it, find out what my deal is, and fix that poo. Unfortunately there is not one. So here I am, looking and feeling and acting like a crazy person, with my eye twitching and my legs both bouncing up and down, shaking my head back and forth. Grrrr...

I have some ideas about why I'm feeling this way, actually. I'll deal with it in a few hours, but in the meantime I need my ridiculous anger to get me to work a few hours out of spite, grimacing and growling all the way.

I'll fill you in later. I PROMISE.

Waiting for Baxter at a bar in Union Square

At the Tim Burton special MoMA exhibit.

Something not at all awesome.

I will have $6.00 in my bank account when my outstanding bills are paid. FOR THE MONTH.

Luckily my medicine is paid for through my FSA, or I'd be very very depressed here in a little bit.

I need to wait to write more. I'm still pretty much in shock.

Sigh.

UPDATE: I realized that is how much I will have in my account IF I buy the awesome pair of boots I found on Zappos.com. Hmm... Well, $6.00 is still SOME money, so I can afford them, right?

Wha....!?!

I just noticed that in all of 2009 I only had 17 posts. Hilarious. Not my most fertile year.

Yargh.

Good news: I started taking my medicine and feel much better. Bad news: my friends don't feel better and my boss is stuck in DC with her sick daughter. I want to work out but I want to stay home with the cats. I'm confused and I miss my sweet BF, since we were having a very tense time until the day before he left to go back to NC for two weeks.

MEH!

Bad news: I'm still at work. Good news: LOST is on tonight and I have some great photos to post of my awesome trip last weekend. Oh, and this week it's SHOWTIME!!

Charity :-)

Warning: entering therapy step-down!

Not the best time of my life to forget to take my medicine, I'll admit. Unfortunately I find myself in this situation, while preparing to go on a whirlwind trip to NYC with my boyfriend right before Valentine's Day, my least favorite holiday, and a few months before the one-year mark, historically my least favorite anniversary. In fact, I've never even been in a relationship that long. Ever. Oh, and I'm not sleeping enough, I'm falling behind at work, and I'm on my period. Awesome.

So basically, what better time to begin distancing myself from therapy and forgetting to take my medicines?! Looks like someone might be trying to self-sabotage again...

I need to go update my zombie blog I think. It's much less depressing.

Hello?!?

OMG, how could I forget?

It's freaking GROUNDHOG DAY!!!

Unfortunately, Punxsutawney Phil DID see his shadow again, so 6 more weeks of winter. But at least one of my favorite movies is on Bravo: GROUNDHOG DAY! Sweet.

Charity :-)

PS-Don't forget your booties 'coz it's COLD OUT THERE!

Egggggcellent.

I don't really have anything eggcellent to say, although Sanks and I went to Flying Biscuit this weekend and I got some sort of Eggcellent something or other. Anyway, it was gross. I keep thinking I like eggs, since I like eggs, but in fact, I don't really like eggs. Yes, I'm confused about the whole "egg" thing, too.

I was supposed to go work out with Katie this evening. We have a regular Tuesday date to work out while watching the Biggest Loser. I've been quite enjoying it. However, I've been torn all day because what I really want to do is make a huge pot of chili, get some beer, guacamole, and tortilla chips, and watch LOST. This obviously conflicted in every way with my previous plans. However, due to unforeseen unfortunate work obligations of Katie's, she is unable to go to the gym, hence: PLAN B IT IS! No, not the failed birth control option. The literal plan B.

So I'm psyched. In keeping with my current psychodalia, I also caught up on my sweet friend's blog and realized that I have a new nickname: Double C. It might not sound like much, but I've always been flattered by nicknames. My inner child feels validated that someone likes me enough to give me a pet name. She feels special, so I feel special.

I need to go home now. I may post something a bit more meaningful later, but I probably won't. Today is too awesome for blog-writing. :-)

By the way, Sanks sent me a link to this hilarious "sitcom" made by guerrilla actors/filmmakers in California and I'm posting it so you can enjoy it, too. I could say awesome again, but I think it will actually go without saying after you watch it. It would probably be more appropriate to say "eggcellent" anyway, at this point.

Charity :)

Verizon: Never Again!!!

I have been getting letters from Verizon begging me to upgrade my plan--the most recent was a few days ago and promised me a $30 credit on my next bill and no contract extension. I asked on their website via "Live Chat" if they had any information on it, since I was prescient enough to know the website was not a place to try to upgrade if I had anything out of the ordinary to do (this I learned from a previous experience with Verizon Wireless that I can't even go into right now. I don't have the energy or strength in my fingers for a story that long). No, he said, I would need to call customer service. He gave me the number.

Poor Tamra, who was unlucky enough to answer my call, walked me through the ways that my bill would change, and really ridiculous charges, etc. It was a much longer experience than it should have been, largely because my bill next month would be more expensive than my bill this month (if I hadn't gone over by about 400 minutes...) AND more expensive than the new plan, even. Poor Tamra. THAT was difficult to explain. Then I asked about the $30 credit.

"I don't have record that we mailed you a letter." Funny, since it had my phone number, name, and address on it. "Well, we outsource some of our marketing so it could be that they sent it. Was there another number on the letter?" Well, maybe, but it's at home now and I'm at work. "Well, you can call us back. We're open until 11 tonight." I don't want to upgrade without the $30 credit, Tamra, and I sure don't want to use my apparently precious minutes to call and be led through another conversational rope course about it. On a Friday night. "Well, I'm sorry-it's not that I don't believe you got the letter. You probably did. But there's no way I can give you a credit on your bill. It won't be approved."

You know what? Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tamra, but don't bother upgrading my plan. I'll just get a couple of tin cans and a rope.

today is going swimmingly!

This morning when I was on my way out the door (15 minutes late, as usual), I saw the package that had arrived yesterday that I assumed was for my upstairs neighbor, as I do not have packages delivered to my apartment (too much temptation for the crackheads, you see) and they apparently order online at least 4 days a week, since there always seems to be a package waiting for them on my porch (I know, very disheartening).

But the package had my name on it!

"What the heck could this be?" I wondered, since I never get packages delivered to my apartment.

I didn't recognize the sender, but thankfully the post office had already sliced through the top of it, perhaps to make sure it didn't have a bomb in it (thank you so much for your concern about my safety!), so I could see that it contained three thin letter-size paperback books.

"Hmm..." I wondered. I opened the package on the porch (like I said, I *never* get packages at home!) and...

My dissertation had arrived in printed form! Hooray! I wish I could paste a .gif of fireworks without looking like a douchebag, because that's what it felt like.

I've been on cloud 9 all day. Of course, I only read the epilogue and acknowledgements, and I've already found a typo, but who cares!? The cover says, "Graduation Date: 2009" which is last year! Not next week, not three years from now, but a previous date!

So while I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up, at least I have proof that 1) I have a PhD bitches, 2) I'm a good writer, and 3) I can construct a logical and innovative theory and back it up with data using appropriate methods of study.

Sweet.

sink or swim.

Well, hello there.

It has been forever, I guess. At least a few months, that is. Since then I've been doing my improv, working at making my job work, trying to scrape by paycheck to paycheck, so pretty much the same stuff I was doing before.

That's pretty much why I haven't updated the blog--I'm not really sure what the point is. I wish I could say I've been writing, but I haven't. I wish I could say I've been trying to find a faculty job, but I haven't been. I think at this point I am working on sustaining unsustainability as long as possible.

I know I need to get up and grab a hold of life. You know, grab the bull by its horns, step up to the plate and swing, sink or swim. It's just, it's so much easier to sink.

I don't think I'm sabotaging myself, or that I'm afraid of failing, and I'm really liking being called "the Doctor." I feel like I earned it.

But it's like, working on my dissertation was like being on a treadmill that was constantly going, going, going, and I always thought I wasn't going to make it, or just overwhelmed by fatigue. Now, the treadmill is off, so I'm just standing there. In an empty gym, staring at the walls.

I think I just don't know how to go after what I want. Maybe I never have. Gosh, how depressing, right?

In good news, I had a nice party this weekend, making Valentine's Day cards. It was a craft/tea party, so I went to Ikea and bought a tea set and tray. I've been wanting one for quite some time. It was a real treat to be able to use it. I also bought myself three bunches of flowers and combined it into a super bouquet. That's really the way to do it.

But you know me, when I go, I go big.

Ram Dass interviewing Thich Nhat Hanh

I'm currently watching Ram Dass: Fierce Grace. It's really amazing. And of course, I've loved Thich Nhat Hanh for some time. His work has really changed my life for the better.

Charity :-)

i love this song!

I posted an entry about Michelle's cat Marley on my other blog and Bob Marley came up on the YouTube. Ben used t hate Bob Marley - basically his argument was that he has become "imagey" to use Michelle's term (long story) - but the thing about that is that Ben pretty much hated everything. He was probably just going through a bad time, but maybe he just needed to listen to more Bob Marley. ;-)

good walk!

Once, a long time ago, I realized that the main reason I write in my journals is that I'm so upset and need to vent/"write things through." So it struck me that if I died, and someone was reading my journals, trying to remember the wonderful times with me, and how much they loved me, and how much I enriched their existence... they'd be inundated with entries about how bad my PMS is, and about how useless I am and how much my friends hate me, and how I have screwed up so much and so bad... It really kind of freaked me out. I know it's not best to imagine someone reading your journals after you die, since the whole point of journaling is that you're free to write what- and however you want. But anyway, so I'm trying to at least write more positive things, since in general I love my life, I don't even get really bad PMS, I am very helpful and productive at work, I've done tons of awesome things including earning a PhD, and all my friends love me, since that's kind of the definition of friendship...

So anyway, I walked to the grocery store today. It's a beautiful day! I passed by a house and a boy was lying in the front yard. When he saw me he played dead which was hilarious. Then while I was in the store, I was reminded of things I had forgotten, instead of the usual, i.e. me forgetting everything one thing at a time. Then the bagger got all my stuff into my one reusable bag, and everyone was very friendly.

As I walked home, I passed the boy again, who was actually practicing his baseball (shortstop) with his dad. AWESOME! I thought it was some sort of miracle thing that never actually happens, since the dad in people's stories is always too busy to play catch. They were having a great time, though, so I can see why the others are upset about missing it.

Then I saw my landlord and asked him about repainting my apartment for me and he totally is! And he even said I could pick out colors, and that he would take that crazy massively-chipping many-layered paint on the door OFF, and refinish the original door casings!

As if that wasn't enough, when I got home I checked my mail and I got a birthday card. With a check in it.

The other night, after improv, I went to the grocery store. I had been practicing a really cheerful, sweet character, so I wondered "Hmm, I wonder what it would be like to be in character as I walk through Kroger." By the time I got in the door, I didn't even need to be in character anymore. Being nice and being treated nicely was in itself enough to keep me feeling cheerful and happy without the character.

Sweet. Now if only my cat would quit peeing on my laundry.

Charity :-)

Carolina Beach Photos August 2009

So many pictures, so few subject matters...

Enjoy!
Charity :)

At Home in Asheboro August 2009

Mom, Seussie, Richard, and me.

Old Photos! (April 09)

I spoke with Sanks on the phone recently. I'm excited that he's coming back from India soon! In the meantime, it's awfully difficult to align convenient times to talk since India is 9.5 hours ahead of us.

Anyway, it reminded me that I hadn't posted these photos, which I found in my camera when I went to the beach. Oh, I guess I need to post those, too.

Charity :)

Pretty, Ugly. Tomato, Tomahto.

Someone made a CD for me and gave it to me tonight. Stuck in the middle there was an old song:



I used to love that song. I think when I was little I thought about that, about how pretty women would get their payback when no one would marry them. Because really, what women really need is another reason to compare their looks to the looks of other women, and judge each other based on these comparisons. Oh, and judge each other based on the success of getting a man.

"Hey man, I saw your wife the other day."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, and she's UGLY!!!!"
"Yeah she's ugly, but she sure can cook!"

It pisses me off that this song is so danceable, because I'd rather hate it; it might be responsible for a large number of my neuroses. That, and the teen novel I read that described a girl as beautiful and even more so because she didn't think she was. Somehow along the way, I became convinced that I was not pretty, and that my thinking so was a good thing. And I also got all of the advice (HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD THIS?!?!) that as soon as I think I'm not going to meet someone; as soon as I give up on love, love will walk right in the door.

Almost a year ago this week my mom told me that I'm "one of those women who meets the perfect guy when she's 45." Yay. Great. I always think that's bullshit, and then another year passes and I find myself in the exact same position, with the exact same issues.

A friend told me that just because I change my behavior, I can't expect the world around me to change overnight. However, I would expect SOME difference. Instead, I'm still in the situation of having 1) guys who want to be my little brother, and 2) guys who want to go on one date with me (preferably without the date part).

I'm so fed up with the whole thing. And then I hear songs like the one above and it just tears me up inside. Mostly because I remember young Charity hearing this song and becoming convinced that having poor self-esteem is the way to meet a wonderful man and finally (of course, with the man's help) have the life I always wanted.

It's just so twisted. And I hate to say it, but I may have also been influenced by third wave feminists. I'm thinking, for example, of Ani Difranco's anthem of anti-pretty:

"Not A Pretty Girl"

I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distess
and I don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
and I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally I agree with them
trouble is you gotta have youself an alternate plan
and I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
and I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if I knew that and I called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

I am not a pretty girl
I don't want to be a pretty girl
no I want to be more than a pretty girl

As if pretty girls, as a rule, need to be rescued and can't be self-sufficient. I mean, sure she allows that the "kittens" in the "trees" might figure out how to get out of the trees, but why so defensive? Why so combative? So now I'm supposed to be irritated at beautiful women and at men? So basically what is left is me as an ugly spinster! Yay!!

Not a Pretty Girl

(This video was made by someone and posted on MySpace, obviously. It was the only video I could find of the entire song.)

All of that is bullshit. You have to be pretty, you have to know you're pretty, and you have to expect love to get love. You can't love another and allow them to love you if you don't love yourself.

And the thing about "pretty" that it took me so long to realize is that you can be pretty simply by KNOWING you're pretty. The truth is, if you think you're not, even if you are, you don't look pretty. You look sad, and bored, and rejected, and defensive, etc. And if you think you are, even if you're "not," you look pretty. You look fun, and happy, and warm, and inviting, and interesting. It's about carrying yourself, and about knowing what you want and deserve and having faith that it will come along.

Before Sunrise

Ok, ok. It's haunting me. I have to say something about Before Sunrise (Linklater, 1995). One of my girlfriends loves this movie so I guess I was expecting good things. "When Harry Met Sally" is her favorite movie, so I should not have been surprised at the nature of this movie. However, even though WHMS is cheesy and frequently eye roll-prompting, I found quite a few things to love about it. Not the case here. First, Ethan Hawke is gross in this movie. He looks gross, he acts like an asshole, his character is an idiot, annoying, and ignorant. I just can NOT see Julie Delpy's character falling for him. Of course, countless beautiful, intelligent, kind, awesome women have put up with less, especially when they are 23, so I guess that in and of itself is not surprising, but still. Also, the chemistry between the two actors was all off. At the beginning it didn't seem as if they were strangers--they were a little too close to each other and a little too comfortable. However, it wasn't like when you meet someone and want to talk all night or something--it was just... stilted seeming. Contrived. Unconvincing. I did like one scene--the one in the record store where they are in the listening booth and both want to kiss but are too shy. That was the one scene in the movie where I truly believed. It was almost as if it was filmed the first day the actors met and the director told them, "Ok, Ethan Hawke, meet Julie Delpy, Julie Delpy, meet Ethan Hawke. Now both of you get in this tiny room, listen to this record and pretend you like it even though it really sucks and is totally cheesy, and act like you want to kiss each other but are too nervous." Then once they had gone through that they had a connection, but since they (in this pretend world) filmed the beginning afterwards, it was unconvincing because they had already shared that moment. Getting back to the first problem I mentioned and relevant to the comment below (in the Roll Bounce review), this movie was pretty painful to watch also because it reminded me of a really crappy time in my life, where I was depressed and painfully insecure, and therefore dated a bunch of losery jerks and felt lucky to do so. Watching it I wanted to be like, "Julie Delpy, you are WAY too good for him! Don't be sad that you won't see him again. You will find someone totally awesome when you grow up and realize your own awesomeness. Please don't waste your time with him. If you spend time with him you will realize what a douchebag he is, but if you don't get off the train, he won't be given the chance to ruin it and it will always be a sweet romantic 'what if?' memory." Maybe that's colored by my own issues/history, but this is my review, so I reserve the right to color it. :-) Interestingly, Ethan Hawke convinces Julie Delpy to get off the train with him by arguing that if she doesn't, she will always wonder "what if?" I say, sometimes it's better to hang on to the fantasy. I notice that I have conflated the actors with the characters in this review. I can't remember the character names and don't care to look. Let's see, right: Jesse and Celine. Blegh. I'll leave it to you to guess which one was which. I also think the fact that I recently saw Julie Delpy (with Adam Goldberg) in 2 Days in Paris, which I slightly more (again, probably because of my own neuroses), has tainted my review a bit. It was also about a French girl walking around a European city with an American guy. But I'm sticking with it. The ferris wheel was neat, though. Image source.

Roll Bounce

I love this movie. I JUST LOVE IT. I can't even describe it. The skating, the funny, the love, the friendship. It's awesome. And the music. The music is great! Awful trailer (not nearly as good as the movie, trust me):

cake wrecks (blog link).

This is the funniest website I've seen in recent memory. I kept calling my co-worker back into my office to show her yet another crazy ridiculous cake. I wish I had that photo of my little brother's 11th birthday cake on which the decorator had represented him as a stick figure. With a third leg. Unfortunately that was before digital cameras. And I don't have a scanner.

menstruation.

according to Molly's nurse:





according to disney and kotex:






according to brian de palma and stephen king:

late summer cleaning.

I was talking with a friend about astrology the other day. Do I believe in it, etc? Some of my colleagues are surprised that I follow it - which I do out of curiosity rather than faith. However, in my life I (choose to) see a great deal of support for the personality aspects (not so much the daily horoscopes, in which I have absolutely NO faith).

I'm a Virgo. I have thought that to be so funny for some time, as I cannot for the life of me keep my apartment presentable (seriously, I mean presentable and not spotless or even mostly clean). However, I have realized that with this transitional period, I am cleaning out my life.

Now is my time to decide what I want and what I don't want. Finishing my dissertation enabled me to get rid of my albatross, so to speak, and I'm excited to see what else I can get rid of. I'm streamlining. I am afraid, though, that perhaps there are some things that should be retained even though they are stressors. At what point, for example, is a person worth getting rid of?I want to surround myself with positivity, but is that selfish? Or healthy? I can't tell with these things. To what extent do I sacrifice my own happiness in the interest of patience and "tolerance"?

I just feel so liberated and free from the dissertation, that I want to get rid of everything that's holding me back! To what extent am I obligated to wait for others? Is their happiness more important than mine? Can someone be truly happy if he or she is holding someone back or being held back by that person? At what point does self-sufficiency turn into snobbery or intolerance?

I want to approach people and my world with an open heart, but I feel strongly that I must protect myself, because of the way I've been hurt in the past. At what point do common sense and "lessons learned" become stubborn refusal to trust or tolerate others?

[And why did I get a sinus infection? Isn't my life supposed to be perfect from here on out?]

I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak, but I also don't want to hang on to things I don't need anymore or that are holding me back. I guess the fact that I have a hard time trusting, forgiving, and letting go is making this a little more difficult than I expected.

Sometimes I miss the days when all I had to worry about was my dissertation.

[NOT.]

the ten

In honor of my achievements, I am here listing a collection of Charity-approved activities:

1) laying out at the pool for however long one wants to
2) listening to the soundtrack from Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist
3) reading for pleasure
4) watching (movie) Rachel Getting Married (not for everyone)
5) watching (tv show) Jericho
6) feeling the breeze on a summer's day
7) drinking margaritas
8) enjoying long weekends
9) skipping days in dieting
10) living with cats, esp. Sam y Max

I'm going to go do yoga and pretend I have enough money to pay rent.

Dr. Charity :)

sweet relief?

Soooo,

I finished my dissertation!! Hooray!! My therapist says I should really allow myself to enjoy things--that I don't usually do that. I was enjoying things. Then I went to pay my rent (note: 5 days late) and realized that I am $300 short. Now, I'd love to not sweat the small stuff in this case, but how exactly does one not sweat the inability to pay for one's residence?

I am supposed to start my new job in September, but as you may or may not have noticed, it is now only the beginning of July. This puts me, well, in deep trouble, basically. It's sad, too, because I was just thinking that I would reward myself with a new computer since my current one is really REALLY tired after six long years of labor. However, I imagine Henry the computer will have to just soldier on, since at this point I can't even afford to pay for my home office, my less a new computer to go in it.

And how's this for sad--I didn't think I would be able to go to the pool, because it was raining, so I opened my champagne from finishing my dissertation (a lovely gift) and now 1) It's not raining, 2) I'm tipsy, and 2) if I could drive, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the bubbly.

Oh, woah is me. Have you ever heard such a sob story? I can't wait until I actually have REAL problems. Oh wait, I mean...

Working on my dissertation!

Hello! I'm looking forward to finishing my dissertation! Too bad it's too late to include veterinary acupuncturists!!

Charity :)


(source)

Sharks and Zombies

My favorite scene, possibly from any movie of all time.



I've started reading Everything is Illuminated. Pretty good so far. Tonight I'm watching Genghis Khan. Also, in the video store I snagged tickets for a free advanced screening of Star Trek! Sweeeeeet.

Also, zombies.



And finally, los dos!!

Update. And If this were the soundtrack to a movie, I'm pretty sure I'd like it.

Hello. My name is Charity. Do you remember me? It has been a long time. I have been very busy. Doing what, you may ask? What HAVEN'T I been doing?

It's funny; I don't think I've written in my blog regularly since before I started improv. It's like improv satisfied my need to ... whatever blogging does. Express?

Anyway, last night I got an email from my girl Nikki and it hit me that I needed to write. I love you girl. I don't know if you'll read this, but I do.

I finished 6 months of improv class and loved every minute of it. Well, there were a few scenes I didn't love so much I guess, but mostly it was awesome. I made a lot of neat swell friends, and went to some parties, and flirted with a lot of boys. :) Recently I've been seeing one special boy, but I don't want to write about him here. Just trust me, he's special!

I'm starting improv again next Monday. It's the advanced class, so I'm a bit nervous, but overall I think it will be good--the teacher is tough, and the games are harder, but I think that will be good for me.

I'm not teaching this semester, and it's been really nice to have some time off from that. I'm finishing my dissertation in the next two months (SWEET!) so I will be walking next May. You better save that date, bitches!! I just got some good news about my job, too. They're going to try to hook up a post-doc for me. Yay! That way I will have a job and benefits, but I will also not have to start a new job in this crappy economic climate. Hopefully by next year the economy will be better so I can start a new job making more money than I would this year.

My confirmation to Episcopalian went through and I love my church. Oh, and I'm learning Hindi. So things are good.

Love,
Charity :)
___________________________________________

Opening Credits: State of Clarity (Guru ft. Common and Bob James)

Waking Up: Paper Planes (M.I.A.)

Average Day: I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (Kay Starr, Stuhr Remix)

First Date: Down Home Girl (Old Crow Medicine Show)

Falling In Love: I Can't Get Next to You (Al Green)

Love Scene: Colors (Amos Lee)

Fight Scene: Dangerous Type (The Cars)

Breaking Up: Basketball Jones (Cheech and Chong)

Getting Back Together: Mutha'uckas (Flight of the Conchords)

Secret Love: Do You Love Me? (The Contours)

Life's Okay: Feeling Good (Nina Simone)

Mental Breakdown: Lush Life (Sammy Davis, Jr.)

Driving: What Am I Going to Do With Myself (Al Green)

Learning A Lesson: It's Been a Year (Greg Laswell)

Deep Thought: My Best Friend's Girl (The Cars)

Flashback: I'll Be There (Jackson 5)

Happy Dance: The Band Played Waltzing Mathilda (The Pogues)

Regretting: Cruisin' (Smokey Robinson)

Long Night Alone: Sailin' (Harry Nilsson)

Death Scene: And Then You (Greg Laswell)

Closing Credits: The Race is On (George Jones)

two things you do with your fingers.

Namely, vote:

"I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

...and play the piano:



I'm having a posting struggle lately. I'll post something interesting and personal again soon.

Probably.

Charity :)

Oakland Cemetary, early October 2008

Photos coming soon. I made a slideshow with iPhoto but the image quality was terrible so now I have to do it in Picasa. And frankly, I'm in the middle of watching Lost, so it will have to wait.

(See how I've started prioritizing my needs? Motto bene.)

Charity :)

i was never a fan of the rocky movies.

here's why:


"i mean...come on." (a la cartman. i was a fan of south park.)

oh, and speaking of south park... i mean, sponge bob square pants... oh, and foul language...

oh, wait, is it the weekend??

This week has been crazy busy. Luckily I've been productive (other than the slip up on Monday--but I only missed it since I was working so hard!!), but I haven't been able to do anything fun!! Well, that's not true. I went to a friend's birthday dinner last night. Now that was fun--more Indian food (yay!), board games, a little baby that cried as soon as I picked her up (but even then, she was SOO CUTE!!!!).

Now I'm going to be at school all day doing my applications, which it will feel MARVELOUS to finish, then probably all night, too.

Tomorrow I have a lunch date, and then IMPROV day one, and then Les Mis!!! This week will definitely pay off this weekend. :) It will actually pay off Saturday, and then Sunday will be icing on the cake! Church, where I'm moving one Sunday at a time from "Inquirer" to "Episcopalian." Then, I'm going to visit my friend in Alpharetta, using my NEW GPS (!!!), whom I have never yet visited!

I can't wait! Just a few short hours! Maybe I'll even watch a Doctor Who on You tube when I get home tonight.

Charity :)

By the way (I had to add this):

did you ever have one of those days?

I had such a great weekend! Then today, I was supposed to give a quiz in my friend's class and meet with one of my own students. I remembered this morning, and thought about it all morning, and then just didn't go. An hour later, my friend emailed, and I still can't figure out how I forgot. It's like I've been in a black hole since 11 am.

How embarassing. What is the matter with me?

Charity :)

best birthday ever!

I had such a wonderful birthday! Thanks for all the birthday greetings and wishes and cards and gifts and meals. And the flowers! I got flowers from Nikki and Olivia.

I went to the pool with Katie in the morning (her birthday is today--happy birthday, Katie!), my friend Mike took me out for a late lunch, Katie and I got mani/pedis, I went out to dinner at Cafe Bombay (yum!) with many wonderful people from school, and then I went to Borders by myself and wondered around, collecting an armful of books to peruse while drinking my decaf soy latte (yummy!). I ended up buying The Shadow of the Wind, which I've been wanting to read for a long time, Flight of the Concords DVDs (the funniest show ever), and The Golden Notebook which I will read later.

Big hugs and kisses all around. I hope everyone's 31st was/is that pleasant.

Now I'm going to go to church and learn more about the Anglican Communion! Too bad I know where it is, so I don't have to use my new GPS (YAY!). Maybe I'll use it anyway.

"...Recalculating..."

charity :)

salute to companions.

This is a nice tribute to the companions of Dr. Who over the years, although it stops at 2006 so Martha's not in it. I am posting it in honor of my dad, who instilled in me my love of Doctor Who from a young age (although at first the love could be more accurately described as terror) and also in honor of all of my companions over the years. Maybe that's why I like Doctor Who so much--he is always reinventing himself, and he can't stay with only one companion, since he never ages, but they do. In the same way, my life takes me around to different companions, and over the years they have all been crucial in making me who I am and keeping me alive and well. Like Doctor Who, I can win out over the scary monsters I face, but like Doctor Who, I usually can't do it without my companions. So maybe that's why I like him.

That and the sonic screwdriver.

charity :)



PS: I heard that David Tennant might not be in the next season, which won't come out until 2010. I hope I am wrong on both counts, since 1) I don't know how I'll wait that long and 2) David Tennant's Doctor Who is sooooooooooo delightfully yummy.

another funny way of looking at it.

speaking of sexism...


charity :)

reality is crazy enough.

Today my mom sent me the now-famous (infamous) picture of Sarah Palin supposedly in a bikini with a gun (below) and it took me forever (well, a few minutes) to find out that it is photoshopped. Quite well, it is true, but nonetheless, it is a fake.

I agree with many others, who argue that instead of making stuff up about her, all we have to do is look at the scary facts, none of which have to do with flag bikinis. That's just a bizarre, and in my opinion cheesy, fashion choice. And the gun, well that's just weird.

To me, it's like making a joke of the real danger she poses (to women in and) to America. Really, I find her nomination terrifying, but hopefully it will at least be the nail on the coffin of John McCain's Republican presidential campaign.

I was not surprised to find that the original was taken in Georgia, by the way. Good old Georgia. I love it here. No, I'm serious!

I mean, dang. How could you not?

charity :)

Carolina Beach pictures.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

family feud of sorts.

I am spending two days with my parents in Asheboro. I love them. They are nice people. But I am stir-crazy. I want to be at the beach, and instead I am spending the afternoon going through Christian thrift stores (I forgot to bring my dress-up clothes for COURT) and watching movies.

We just watched Blame It On Fidel (see below) which was awesome and I highly recommend it. Richard wanted to go straight into Nacho Libre, but I need a break. I played the piano for a while, enjoying the barely recognizable (and not-frequently practiced) songs of Tori Amos and Coldplay. Now I'm doing this while they watch Family Feud. It's hard to compete with John O'Hurley I guess. Maybe it's the hair.



We're heading off to the beach tomorrow--FINALLY--so until then, I guess I'll rummage through all my junk that I've left in storage here.

I might be able to post an entry at the beach, but probably not. Either way, I'll definitely post some pictures when I get back.

Love, Charity ;)

ps-oh, and my mom is paying for me to go to Improv classes for my birthday! This will be the best birthday present ever, I think!!! Yay, 31! (God, I'm old.)

overthinking.

Overthinking is a bad habit of mine. It always has been. The drive home to Asheboro today was a long one. For some reason I was listening to my "bad-ass lady" music: Ani DiFranco (Not a Pretty Girl), PJ Harvey (Rid of Me), and the Breeders (Last Splash). And I was thinking. Dwelling in decisions I have to make, decisions I want to make but can't, decisions I know I should make but won't, and the like.

Driving down Highway 49 through the outskirts of Charlotte, I hit traffic. I found myself behind a car with personalized tags. I struggled to figure out what their tag meant: 4ARESON, and then I realized it was "for a reason" and I felt so silly because of what I had said the other day, and yet here I was, so easily slipping into the familiar pattern of worrying over every little thing.

I don't want to do that any more. I guess I'll just have to keep reminding myself. It was nice to get some help today.

I'm off to the beach tomorrow. I'll post some pictures afterwards.

Peace and love to you if you find yourself reading this,
Charity :)

whoa! what was that?

I will say this: when you honestly give something to God, or fate, or whatever--when you honestly let control of something go and quit trying to bend reality to your will, amazing things happen. It's pretty great!

Here's why:

1) you don't have to worry about the outcome anymore, and can relax knowing that the outcome is predetermined and will be the same whether you stress about it or not.

2) amazing things might happen--things you never expected. You will be surprised by good things that come into your life.

3) bad things that happen don't seem so bad anymore. The Avett Brothers describe their past loves:

"And I've known others,And I've loved others too
But I loved them cause they were stepping stones
On a staircase to you"

Everything that happens, even if it seems yucky, is just a step to something else. It's just a matter of seeing the eventual outcome as positive, rather than negative. Everything is temporary, and if you try desperately to stay on that happy step rather than moving forward, you'll just make yourself unhappy in the long run. Because you can't stay there. And who would want to, since the step beyond is better than you can even imagine!

Charity :)

PS-Um, 30 is really old. I'm feeling it today. It's ok, but I'm just saying. It's old.

i guess i'm just on a video-posting kick.

love these guys!

charity :)

transcribing.

I know I should be... I'm just SO INCREDIBLY BORED with it. I think I'll move on to analysis first, and come back to this interview. I think I conducted it summer of 2007. Yes, over a year ago. Surely that's a record. Over a year to transcribe an interview? That's like one word a day.

Hmm, meaning if I had only done just one word a day, I would be done by now. Missed opportunities...

I've been listening to The Wailin' Jennys lately. I really like them. The video below isn't my favorite song by them, but it's good, and it's the only one I can find that's not recorded live and weird sounding. Plus, it's kind of fitting. I hope you like it!



charity :)

six flags photos.

That's that, Mattress man.

charity :)

simply the best...

...musical ever.



I saw Curse of the Golden Flower yesterday; very good. Very lush (luscious?), just like they said. I also saw The Dark Knight again yesterday. It's still as good as I remembered. I really like the new series, and I'm sad about Heath Ledger again. His performance is top notch.

I miss church. My cousin's in town so we didn't go. :( Hopefully I'll be able to go next weekend, although chances of getting my little brother to go with me are pretty slim. But oh, yeah, SIX FLAGS here we come!

Last week saw Nights of Cabiria recently ("the Fellini film"), and my oh my was it heartbreaking. I don't know why I read that movies are described as "heartbreaking" and yet every time I'm surprised. It was amazing, though. It is now my favorite of Fellini's I think. The lead, Giulietta Masina, is AMAZING. Cute and gives a very touching and convincing performance as the prostitute who can't find happiness (I wonder why?). It's better than Pretty Woman, at least, although that's really not saying much. I worry about people who like that movie. Very much I worry.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the clip. Liza Minelli is no joke. Love her.

(source)
Charity :)

PS-I got Wicked tickets for October! Unfortunately I couldn't get them for the weekend that my mom could come with us, but Rich and I will surely have a blast!

parenting.

While I have just about given up on having kids of my own, I imagine I will never give up judging others for their poor parenting choices.

In that vein, I read a really interesting article today; it was actually a blog/opinion piece, but very well-written and apt.

My cousin is here, otherwise I'd write more, but since no one read this anyway, I'll just pretend I wrote Judith Warner's blog entry...


Some photos I also didn't take (Jill Greenberg did).
Charity :)

i'm all about balance.

When I used to do yoga in Greensboro at a fancy friendly healthy nice yoga studio (which I still miss tremendously), I would stop on the way home to buy a bag of Doritos. It's all about the balance, I would laugh guiltily. I'm doing something great for my body, so now I need to eat some Doritos or I'll be all out of whack (I actually lost weight that year and was in great shape by the end of it, incidentally).

In the spirit of balance, then, of my previous post, in a not serious but delicious way, I'd like to share the recipe of one of my favorite Spanish tapas, the Spanish Omelette (tortilla de patatas). Enjoy! And namaste!

(Also, the recipe I used before was much simpler and did not have garlic but did have black pepper. I like the black pepper. Also, I would slice the onions thinly rather than chop them, but that's just my preference.)


Ingredients

* 1/2 pint of olive oil
* 5 medium (40 oz each) baking potatoes, peeled, sliced and lightly sprinkled with salt
* 1/2 yellow onion, chopped
* 3 cloves garlic, minced
* 5 eggs
* Salt

Preparation

Heat the olive oil in a 9-inch skillet and add the potato slices carefully, because the salt will make the oil splatter. Try to keep the potato slices separated so they will not stick together. Cook, turning occasionally, over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the onions and garlic and cook until the potatoes are tender. Drain into a colander, leaving about 3 tablespoons of oil in the skillet.

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk the eggs with a pinch of salt. Add the potatoes, and stir to coat with the egg. Add the egg-coated potatoes to the very hot oil in the skillet, spreading them evenly to completely cover the base of the skillet. Lower the heat to medium and continue to cook, shaking the pan frequently, until mixture is half set.

Use a plate to cover the skillet and invert the omelette away from the hand holding the plate (so as not to burn your hand with any escaping oil). Add 1 tablespoon oil to the pan and slide the omelette back into the skillet on its uncooked side. Cook until completely set. Allow the omelette to cool, and then cut it into wedges. Season it with salt and sprinkle with lemon juice to taste (optional).

Serve warm or at room temperature. Serves four, prep time 35 minutes. (source)

things we should be eating (NYT).

June 30, 2008, 8:50 am
The 11 Best Foods You Aren’t Eating
by Tara Parker-Pope
New York Times/Well Section

Nutritionist and author Jonny Bowden has created several lists of healthful foods people should be eating but aren’t. But some of his favorites, like purslane, guava and goji berries, aren’t always available at regular grocery stores. I asked Dr. Bowden, author of “The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth,” to update his list with some favorite foods that are easy to find but don’t always find their way into our shopping carts. Here’s his advice.

1. Beets: Think of beets as red spinach, Dr. Bowden said, because they are a rich source of folate as well as natural red pigments that may be cancer fighters.
How to eat: Fresh, raw and grated to make a salad. Heating decreases the antioxidant power.
2. Cabbage: Loaded with nutrients like sulforaphane, a chemical said to boost cancer-fighting enzymes.
How to eat: Asian-style slaw or as a crunchy topping on burgers and sandwiches.
3. Swiss chard: A leafy green vegetable packed with carotenoids that protect aging eyes.
How to eat it: Chop and saute in olive oil.
4. Cinnamon: May help control blood sugar and cholesterol.
How to eat it: Sprinkle on coffee or oatmeal.
5. Pomegranate juice: Appears to lower blood pressure and loaded with antioxidants.
How to eat: Just drink it.
6. Dried plums: Okay, so they are really prunes, but they are packed with antioxidants.
How to eat: Wrapped in prosciutto and baked.
7. Pumpkin seeds: The most nutritious part of the pumpkin and packed with magnesium; high levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death.
How to eat: Roasted as a snack, or sprinkled on salad.
8. Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.'’ They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
9. Turmeric: The “superstar of spices,'’ it may have anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties.
How to eat: Mix with scrambled eggs or in any vegetable dish.
10. Frozen blueberries: Even though freezing can degrade some of the nutrients in fruits and vegetables, frozen blueberries are available year-round and don’t spoil; associated with better memory in animal studies.
How to eat: Blended with yogurt or chocolate soy milk and sprinkled with crushed almonds.
11. Canned pumpkin: A low-calorie vegetable that is high in fiber and immune-stimulating vitamin A; fills you up on very few calories.
How to eat: Mix with a little butter, cinnamon and nutmeg.

You can find more details and recipes on the Men’s Health Web site, which published the original version of the list last year.

In my own house, I only have two of these items — pumpkin seeds, which I often roast and put on salads, and frozen blueberries, which I mix with milk, yogurt and other fruits for morning smoothies. How about you? Have any of these foods found their way into your shopping cart?

--------------

I'm off to buy some frozen blueberries! After working on my dissertation for a few hours (blegh, but yay!)

Charity :)

i went to church this weekend.

Yep, you read right. It was pretty fun. I'll be back. The spiritual guidance, the pageantry, the pigtailed little girls and boys in argyle sweaters, the prayer, the communion. Yeah, I'll be back.

In other news: I saw the new Batman movie (did I already tell you?) and it was AWESOME but that was last week. Let's see, I also did some transcribing (but not enough--it is NEVER ENOUGH), went to the pool a few times, worked out at the gym quite a bit (Yay!) and babysat a few times.

I'm really going to miss the Elliotts. It is only when someone leaves that you realize how much you will miss them, I think. The way I'm feeling now, that means I'm in for a sad sad September. (August I will be spending several weeks in North Carolina and the other weeks preparing for my class to begin and getting caught up at work).

I guess the good news is that there's always my dissertation to keep me busy and hopefully distracted.

And now, there's also church.

charity :)

as if i needed another reason...

druthers.

I'm just saying. (source)

feeling better!

That's it. I'm just feeling better. I started to read this great book: Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships by John Welwood and it has me feeling very calm. Also, my decision not to feel sad today helped, and my decision to spend all day transcribing, and my decision to go to the gym and start doing yoga every day again, and my decision to go to church next weekend. I won't tell my parents, though, because I don't think they'll approve of the denomination, but I'm pretty excited about it.

Charity :)

Michigan rag.

As performed by Marley Cat Manasse.

I can't remember if I posted the video above already. It was from my visit to Baltimore in like March or whenever.

I'm feeling sad now. So sad I couldn't even fill in the Myspace survey Erin posted. So I'm just going to post this and then go to bed and hope I feel better tomorrow. At least I finally finished transcribing that doctor's interview. He was from New Jersey and talked SUPER fast. Now, I just have ten more to go... Hmm, and I told my advisor I'd have them done by the time he gets back from Sweden. Um, Thursday. Yeah, I don't think that's so much going to happen...

God, this has been a stressful weekend. I'm so glad it's Monday tomorrow. Oh wait, that means it's Monday tomorrow. And one day closer to Thursday.

Dude.

NYT story about the economy (spoiler: we're in trouble).

New York Times, July 19, 2008
Uncomfortable Answers to Questions on the Economy
By PETER S. GOODMAN

You have heard that Fannie and Freddie, their gentle names notwithstanding, may cripple the financial system without a large infusion of taxpayer money. You have gleaned that jobs are disappearing, housing prices are plummeting, and paychecks are effectively shrinking as food and energy prices soar. You have noted the disturbing talk of crisis hovering over Wall Street.

Something has clearly gone wrong with the economy. But how bad are things, really? And how bad might they get before better days return? Even to many economists who recently thought the gloom was overblown, the situation looks grim. The economy is in the midst of a very rough patch. The worst is probably still ahead.

...

Article posted here if you're interested. I'm cutting it because it's too long and I'm tired of seeing it on my blog.

fun for the whole family!

Above: A slideshow of photos from the recent Welch Family Reunion at Natural Tunnel Park in Virginia. Enjoy!


Above: A Brief Tour of the Natural Tunnel at the Natural Tunnel State Park, Virginia.


Above: The Welch Family Singers; my camera was being weird so I only got a brief clip, but we had a lot of fun. People in the crowd were singing, kids were running in and out and everyone was just having a wonderful time. True family fun. Plus more ham that you could possibly know what to do with. If you're into that sort of thing...

Anyway, so much for my early bedtime tonight! I've been meaning to get these up for some time, though!

Charity :)

ice skating and middle school math quiz.

I went ice skating today at the Marietta Ice Center and boy was it FUN! I hope I can go again very soon. I highly recommend it. It feels kind of like walking smoothly, balanced on the dull edges of two knives, on a big ice cube. Because that's what it is, essentially. Also, when we left there were people playing hockey on the big rink and I got to watch it. How fun, and they move really fast! Maybe someday. When I get a little more comfortable moving on a big ice cube.


Well, it wasn't exactly like this, but pretty close (source).

OK, here's the quiz:

Question: How long will it take Charity to get home from ice skating given that the skating rink is approximately 20 miles away from her house if she is moving approximately 2 meters per hour due to REPAVING THAT HAS BEEN SCHEDULED ON WEEKENDS TO CLOSE 4 LANES OF TRAFFIC GOING SOUTH AT ONCE ON A FIVE LANE PORTION OF TWO MAJOR HIGHWAYS THAT IDIOTICALLY UNITE AND THEN RUN THROUGH A MAJOR CITY?

Answer: 4 hours.


My view for most of the four hours was something like this.

I had to cancel babysitting tonight, which luckily turned out to be not a problem. What a day. So now, it's Charity's favorite meal of nachos, beer, and candy, I guess. At least I've been working out lately.

I think I need to take a long scorching hot bath and then fall asleep right in front of my box fan. No one can say CHARITY doesn't know how to have a good time on a Saturday night...

charity :)

last night (Tubby del Toro).

Last night I dreamed I that Benicio del Toro came to call. He was even better looking than I remembered, and younger. He and I were talking in my parents' kitchen, and when my dad came in, the first thing he did was stick out his hand for a handshake and ask what ethnicity he was.

Benicio turned to me with a knowing smile and responded that he was Seminole, from Guadalcanal. Then he told us his real name was Yes Fire Hot. We went for a bike ride in the park, but it started snowing, so he dragged me around on the ice and we had a delightful time.

I wish the Dog Whisperer had been on last night. I might have dreamed of puppies instead.

****

I found out last night that my sweet sweet sweet cat Tubby was found dead and buried by some nice Vietnamese people who live across the street from my mom. Poor poor Tubby. Now she will fertilize some strangers' garden, but I don't mind. I miss her terribly. She was my sweet little old lady kitty, the most beautiful cat in the world. When I used to pet her head she would stare up at me with big beautiful eyes lined in black and orange and flat ears and freckles and I called her my refugee kitty, so I guess it's fitting that her final rest be in some nice immigrants' garden.

RIP Tubby, and I pray that in the great cat beyond you have all the triangle food and piano serenades your little kitty heart desires.

charity :)

speaking of independence... [updated]

I want to write more, but for now I'll just write this: did you know that home birth is illegal? Yes, against the law. I knew that already but it's one of those things that I thought surely this is a violation of privacy and has been reversed by now. But I looked it up, and sure enough, it still is.

Physicians were behind making it illegal. I read a very interesting book recently about birth, called, um, Birth.

Check it out.

Childbirth sounds really scary, but the thought of going to a hospital makes it much scarier for me. Why shouldn't I be able to choose home birth? I just can't understand. It's ridiculous. If you're at all interested, I highly recommend the book. It's a fascinating read, and a very quick one as well. Check out the website for Georgia group Citizens for Midwifery or their blog for more information about the midwifery situation specifically.

Sorry about the short entry but I have so much to do today!

Charity :)

Update: Thanks to the comment, a word of clarification. You are legally allowed to have your baby at home (home birth). However, it is a violation for midwives to attend the birth. Ironic, isn't it? Since the home birth laws presumably are made with the mother and baby's safety in mind.

Also, there will be a film festival in Augusta sponsored by Better Augusta Birth Experience this weekend, but unfortunately I will be out of town at a family reunion. I hear it will be coming to Atlanta in the next few months, though. I'll try to keep you posted.

Charity :)

this weekend.

Since I know yall are all crazy interested in how my weekend was, I figured I wouldn't waste any more time and just get it out in the open.

Yes, it was a good one!

It started Friday afternoon, when I met my lovely friend Alison with her lovely son Jack to walk around mindlessly in first Target, then Barnes and Nobles. Finally we decided on what we wanted to do (tough decision for two indecisive people such as ourselves!). We drove out to Decatur to go to Little Shop of Stories in Decatur. I have so say I wasn't really impressed. I wanted to like it better than Barnes and Nobles and Borders, but it didn't have the book I wanted (I had held off buying it earlier in order to support local business, and see what lesson I learned), and it was also much more sterile seeming. It was strange, because I guess I expected a store like the one in You've Got Mail. (Yes, I've seen You've Got Mail. Drop it.)


(source)

Plus, it was weird because Decatur Beach Party was going on, where they dumped a bunch of sand in downtown Decatur so kids could shovel it and parents could stand around in it looking uncomfortable but trying to bond over how much they loved their kids and let them run their lives.

Alison had to go home so I ended up going out later with my friend Katie to a place called Pozole which was great for two reasons: 1) the food and drinks were great, and not too expensive, and 2) it was an AWESOME place to people watch. These drunk guys tried to get us to go up to The Warren with them but that didn't work out for several obvious reasons. All in all, it was a great night. Katie is my new going out buddy, and I hope we are going to go out more. Drunk old frat boys are wonderfully entertaining. :)

Saturday, Michael and I played tennis and then sat out at the pool, which was heavenly. We grabbed a burrito afterwards and relaxed at his home. It was nice to be able to spend some time with him. He's been so busy (as I should be) that it's hard to schedule. Saturday night I went out to Planet Bombay and I had the Tofu dal sabji. Highly recommended! Be sure to ask for it spicy. :) MMMMMMM!!!

Sunday, I meant to do a lot of work but I ended up playing video games and watching Law and Order. I did some other things, too, but I won't bore you with the details. I meant to watch Hellboy, but Michael was unable to join me. Very sad, but then again, I do love me some Law and Order: CI and In Plain Sight (both were new last night!). I guess I'll watch it tonight if I get home in time. I've been going since before 8 am. I had to take the recyclers and do laundry; now I'm at work and will be until 7, then when I get home I'll have to write an exam and finish writing an article that my co-author has almost finished (oops).

Wish me luck! I should have done a little more work yesterday, I see now!

Charity :)

love the title: "wronged by a thong"

"In terms of money, that's really not what we want here. Again, we want to make sure that Vic-Marcrida Patterson is fully redressed for her grievous injury. Again, she's had some injury, she's missed work, she's gone through a lot of suffering as well. We basically want to make Marcrida whole again."

[blows raspberry]

dancing and dissertation defending.

Cyd Charisse died Tuesday at age 86 (source). I thought I'd post a clip. She was really amazing (but this isn't her singing).



In better news, Michael defended his dissertation! One more friend out of graduate school (great for my friends, mixed blessing for me). I'm so happy for him. We went to the Brick Store to celebrate. Now that's entertainment!

Charity :)

ninja warriors and old video games.

After a conversation with my brother, I was looking up clips of this show:



when I found this short film:



Extra credit to the first one who can figure out the connection!

Charity :)

in honor of Nikki's and my healing tongues.

25 Signs You've Grown Up*

25. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

24. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

23. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

22. 6 AM is when you wake up, not when you go to bed.

21. You hear your favorite song on the elevator.

20. You watch the Weather Channel.

19. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

18. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

17. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

16. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

15. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

14. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

12. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

11. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

10. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

9. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

8. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

7. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

6. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

5. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

4. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never doing to drink that much again."

3. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

2. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

1. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you.

* I don't actually know where this comes from, since I clipped it from a newspaper before these things were all true. I looked it up on the internet and it's everywhere, so there's no way I'm going to bother with finding out who initially wrote it. Anyway. Not me.

But it's funny! Many of them aren't true for me yet, but I look forward to the day when I can mark them off the list. I'm enjoying being a grown up. I bought a new bathing suit this year. It's plain, black and sensible.

People told me my thirties were going to be awesome, but I had no idea. I'm so glad I'm single for it, too. I feel more powerful than I ever have in the past. I say this after an 11-hour workday.

Guess what?

Pretty soon, you'll have to call me DOCTOR Crabtree.

Doctor Who? You heard me. I'm going to fetch the Tardis and start solving REAL problems!!

BBC

Charity :)

last lecture: Randy Pausch.

I'm finishing up The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, which was suggested by my stepmom on my last trip home. It's really great, and I'm enjoying watching the actual lecture, too. Recommended!

Charity :)

face for sale.

Emory's bulletin board after graduation, when all the notices had been (mostly) removed. Taken May 2008.

on the brighter side.

Did you know that this year is the International Year of the Potato? What are YOU doing to celebrate? I want to have a Potato Party!!



Yesterday I went to a game of the Atlanta Dream! Below, "Atlanta Dream players Katie Feenstra (6-foot-8) and Ivory Latta (5-foot-6) model the new uniforms to be worn by Atlanta's WNBA franchise" (source).


They didn't win, but it was very close (85-81), against the Minnesota Lynx, who are undefeated this season. I'm very optimistic! I went with a friend and we were just so excited, trying to imagine what it would have been like growing up with professional basketball stars that were women.

I was for Obama all along, but it still stings a bit that we are not going to have a female presidential candidate. This helps!

Charity :)